Its also the fact that when people do create threads (not just on that board mind), they dont really ask for anything, use it as a rant almost, then get ubber pissed off with the replies as they dont match what they wanted - which is impossible to do if someone just posts a relative statement not asking for anything.
I do feel some of the attitudes of posters asking for help are just wrong, for the fact they get all defensive, pissy and rude when they don't get the help they wanted. I am also sick of the amount of people that post "dont know why im posting this as no one ever replies to me anyway"
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
Serious board is for serious stuff; maybe not just suicide, but crises, serious, urgent problems.
As far as I can see, the main problem is single members created four/five threads, but then, that's against the guidelines.
^^ this.
I think the problem is 'serious' can mean different things for different people. Right from when I first joined I thought and still think my 'problems' belong in serious, they aren't general chat worthy. I guess they could fit in MH, but it's serious discussion AND advice. I don't really think its for other to judge the seriousness of a problem. I disagree with it becoming a suicide board, think there's one upping now. There definitely will be then!!
For what it counts, I think you deserve to be in Serious, no question. I think this thread is more about people who spam Serious with non-serious stuff, or multiple threads.
I don't think any of this is new, rather, just a reminder to re-enforce the rules? Again, maybe I'm missing something.
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
I think this raises a good point. I often struggle to decide where threads I want to create need posting when they could either go in serious or general support. I believe any relating to my family have gone into general, but if I have been in a crisis that I don't feel belongs in a specific support place like MH/SI etc I will post in there.
However, I have refrained from posting in Serious recently because I worry that my asking for support may be ignored due to the amount of threads that are in there.
I also wondered if maybe there should be a specific support area for threads in support of people as they often end up dissapearing too
To me serious is about things which may be triggering and that to the user it is a really serious problem that maybe is worsening how they feel significantly and doesn't fit in elsewhere.
Quote:
Originally Posted by talaiporia
Serious board is for serious stuff; maybe not just suicide, but crises, serious, urgent problems.
This is what I always thought. If I needed to talk about wanting to SH or already have then it would probably be graphic & triggering to other members & I wouldn't post in SI discussion because I thought it wasn't supposed to be that serious/triggering, just discussion on beating urges/talking to family about it/people asking questions/cover up tips etc etc & then serious is like - "I've had a really pants day & really want to cut & want to make it bad etc" (Am I mistaken?)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bleeding Angel
Its also the fact that when people do create threads (not just on that board mind), they dont really ask for anything, use it as a rant almost, then get ubber pissed off with the replies as they dont match what they wanted - which is impossible to do if someone just posts a relative statement not asking for anything.
I do feel some of the attitudes of posters asking for help are just wrong, for the fact they get all defensive, pissy and rude when they don't get the help they wanted.
I'm also incredibly uncomfortable with the idea of Serious being a 'suicide board' just to put my 2p in. This might be a pretty personal issue, but I already feel like, because I don't communicate (and that is sometimes what it is, like it or not) by threatening/mentioning suicide anymore (or at least most of the time) then my issues can't be deemed 'serious'. I know this is not the case!
Who are we to define 'serious' for other people?
Erm, my mum just asked me to check the TV guide so I've lost my train of thought.
Edit: I had just skimmed the other posts so thanks Scumbelina for summing things up.
I think a rule of having one active thread in serious/MH/ED/SI per member should be the rule. Enforce it with points and people will soon get the idea.
I think a rule of having one active thread in serious/MH/ED/SI per member should be the rule. Enforce it with points and people will soon get the idea.
Agreed, it's so frustrating.
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
Yeah, I guess I didn't really mean serious should be just suicide threads, because that would indeed be woeful! In fact, I'm not entirely sure what I mean, and anything I do say would indeed be judgmental and me enforcing my own personal criteria of what counts as srs bsns on other people, which isn't really on.
I do agree that two major issues are multiple threads and people using it to rant and ignoring ALL the advice and suggestions. Is it actually in the actual rules that you can't have multiple threads, or is it more of an unwritten rule? And if so, can I PR threads if the poster already has an active thread in the same board?
And how do people suggest we deal with people just using threads to rant and ignore advice? I'd say just stop replying, but I get the feeling some people think it's a bit harsh to ignore someone who continually posts "It's too late" "I'm going to end it tonight", and end up replying, even though they know they will be ignored?
Is it actually in the actual rules that you can't have multiple threads, or is it more of an unwritten rule? And if so, can I PR threads if the poster already has an active thread in the same board?
I didn't think there was any such rule, and I'm hesitant to really agree with it. I mean, define "active"? Is that no replies in a day, a week, a month? The second page, the fifth page? Whilst I agree that someone having two or more separate threads on the first page is annoying (and fragmented), if they are dealing with two separate issues, then is it really right to force those two issues together?
Quote:
And how do people suggest we deal with people just using threads to rant and ignore advice? I'd say just stop replying, but I get the feeling some people think it's a bit harsh to ignore someone who continually posts "It's too late" "I'm going to end it tonight", and end up replying, even though they know they will be ignored?
Depending on the content, you could PR them for "suicide notes" or similar? Or, you could suggest that they may find the R/V forum (or journals even) more useful if they are not actively seeking support for their issue(s).
It's in the "please read" guidelines. I think there are supposed to be new rules in the works though, so maybe it'll be in there.
I think when someone has started 10 threads in 24 hours across various boards, it really is something that needs handling, because not only do they not get help, it hinders others getting help. It's not about the number of threads so to speak because you might be creating 2 or 3 in a short space of time on different issues, and that's okay.
I generally just stop replying to rant threads; if they descend into suicide threats, then they're reportable, but otherwise they just unhelpful.
I tried (gently) pointing out to a member yesterday they would get more help from having one thread, and more/better advice, and they got really angry, so I'm reluctant to do that again...
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
This is what I always thought. If I needed to talk about wanting to SH or already have then it would probably be graphic & triggering to other members & I wouldn't post in SI discussion because I thought it wasn't supposed to be that serious/triggering, just discussion on beating urges/talking to family about it/people asking questions/cover up tips etc etc & then serious is like - "I've had a really pants day & really want to cut & want to make it bad etc" (Am I mistaken?)
My take on it would be self injury discussion is for all posts relating to self harm as the board description states - Covers all areas of self injury. This forum includes advice, information, recovery and support - so what you have posted above to my mind would all fit in Self Injury. Some posts in here will be triggering and no where does it say threads in SID should not be triggering in the same way that the ED board is for all things ED.
I don't think that serious should become a suicide board but I do think the room description is important - For threads that may be triggering or graphic which do not fit in any other forum. So if it's a thread relating to self injury then the SI board should be used, ED posts should go in the ED board, threads related to mental health should go there i.e. i'm being admitted etc. That leaves quite a narrow spectrum of posts that would fit in serious but that's how it should be.
I'm one of those who think serious should barely be posted in and thats in part because I see it as a board for people in utter despair where maybe hospital is the solution and to think of people being in that frame of mind long term makes me sad.
I also think if Serious was used as a last resort then the other boards would have more serious threads posted in them and that may in turn mean that the boards may feel like they are less cotton wooled then they are currently. In part because when I first joined Serious wasn't a particularly active board and thus threads that covered triggering topics were spread across the relevant forum
When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty. ~Woody Allen
Is a chocolate muffin loving glitter ball
I have a question.
Say someone has a thread that started off intensely 'triggery' but did ease off, but could stir up again at some point, and that person wants to really limit the amount of threads they post so try, as far as possible, to keep discussion and support of this serious stuff in their Serious thread? Would the answer be to move said thread to MH, and move it back again to Serious if things got really rocky again?
I'm in particular referring to my current thread in Serious here. It started out from a crisis, and I'm needing/using/wanting it to keep reaching out when things feel especially wobbly, to try and keep me from falling into 'bad' crisis mode again. Does that make sense?
Maybe we even need a place for people needing/wanting/using ongoing support threads through extra stressful times - e.g. breaks in support, job situations, family troubles, severe housing strife etc? Justathought. I know there's the Journals, but no one ever really looks there - do they?
I think if it started in Serious, it'd be fine there.
I think the problems is lots of people making LOTS of threads, all without much content, just multiple ranty threads of about 5-10 posts.
Your thread has a lot of content, and you are actually seeking advice. And I'm sure if someone said something to you, you wouldn't get all angry with them, you actually do want people's help.
If people literally just want to rant/vent, then there are R/Vs, but multiple threads - not really a reason for them. It doesn't help them get more support (in contrast to bumping a thread) it just pushes other people's threads off the page.
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
My take on it would be self injury discussion is for all posts relating to self harm as the board description states - Covers all areas of self injury. This forum includes advice, information, recovery and support - so what you have posted above to my mind would all fit in Self Injury. Some posts in here will be triggering and no where does it say threads in SID should not be triggering in the same way that the ED board is for all things ED.
I don't think that serious should become a suicide board but I do think the room description is important - For threads that may be triggering or graphic which do not fit in any other forum. So if it's a thread relating to self injury then the SI board should be used, ED posts should go in the ED board, threads related to mental health should go there i.e. i'm being admitted etc. That leaves quite a narrow spectrum of posts that would fit in serious but that's how it should be.
I'm one of those who think serious should barely be posted in and thats in part because I see it as a board for people in utter despair where maybe hospital is the solution and to think of people being in that frame of mind long term makes me sad.
I also think if Serious was used as a last resort then the other boards would have more serious threads posted in them and that may in turn mean that the boards may feel like they are less cotton wooled then they are currently. In part because when I first joined Serious wasn't a particularly active board and thus threads that covered triggering topics were spread across the relevant forum
)
Makes you not want to bother!
