Seriously struggling. Help?

edizzle. · 18-07-2012, 05:30 AM

So I've been staring at this trying to figure out where to start. But I guess I just need someone to talk to. And who better than people who are probably suffering through it too.

(PS sorry for disappearing. I've been dealing with alot.)

Over the past few months, my depression has gotten worse. (I suffer from bipolar disorder II) Like I don't even feel like I have anyone to turn to anymore. My friends have like fallen off the face of the earth. And when we do talk, it feels like we're strangers. I feel so alone and so unmotivated. Like it was a struggle just to go to the bank the other day. I can't sleep. I'm up til 6-7am every day and then sleep til 1-2pm. (My biological clock is all messed up + I was a bit manic last week.)

I don't even like to go on facebook anymore because everyone is graduating or having a good time and it makes me feel worse because I can't afford to go to school, I can't afford to get my car fixed. I feel like I'm slowly fading away.

I feel like I don't even know who I am anymore. Some days I just want to stay in my bed all day.

Does anyone else feel the same way? Or am I truly alone in this?

lilmissjay · 18-07-2012, 06:21 AM

You definitely are NOT alone in this. I have Bipolar II, also. I remember a couple of years ago when it all started for me I would have the same problems where my sleeping was messed up, I didn't have the motivation to do anything, my friends ended up disappearing over a period of time and I was just feeling miserable. If you don't mind me asking, are you getting any sort of professional help or support from the people around you? I know it helped me a lot to have my family there to help me through it and to force me to get out and do little things when I wasn't in the mood. Unfortunately, it may take you some time to get to a place where you are content with how you are feeling, but you can get there. Perhaps you could join a group in your area so that you can meet new people and have something fun to look forward to, pick up a new hobby, go for walks, ect. Anyways, you can always PM if you ever need someone to talk to. Take care :)

edizzle. · 20-07-2012, 05:48 PM

Thanks for the reply!
Well, being that I don't have health insurance and I don't have enough money to see anyone, I can't really get the help. I have gotten help in the past and I try to use what I've learned to help me cope but sometimes it's so hard. :(

I should try and get people to help motivate me like you said.

StarBright · 20-07-2012, 10:26 PM

I know how you feel! Hang in there. I don't have insurance or money either, but I'm fighting to find some help. Someone at a suicide prevention center gave me a number to call and ask about low income/sliding fee mental health centers in my area. Maybe you could find some information about something similar in your area to continue getting more help? It's definitely worth a try. I hope you feel better soon.

Porcelain Child · 20-07-2012, 11:24 PM

I am sorry you are struggling and you have no way of getting any help.. But i wanted to let you know that you are not alone at all in what you are feeling.. I think the above poster has a good idea, maybe you could look that up..

Have you tried doing a hobby and socialising people with the same hobby as you? That is one way of making new friends..

edizzle. · 22-07-2012, 04:41 AM

Thanks StarBright! I've been trying to find a clinic like that for a while now.

One of my main concerns is that I've had a loss of appetite. So like some days, I have to force myself to eat. And I get scared that I'm going to like unintentionally develop an eating disorder or have a vitamin deficiency or something. :( So I've been trying to just eat small meals.

StarBright · 22-07-2012, 04:51 AM

I hope you find a good place that will be helpful for you. :)

I know forcing yourself to eat after going a long time without eating can be really uncomfortable, at least it tends to be for me, so one thing I do is try to make myself drink plenty of fluids and also try to eat things that go down really easily like fruits or smoothies and then my appetite will usually slowly return.

TomiJoseph · 22-07-2012, 04:51 AM

I feel the same way lately and I've never had that feeling before in my life, where you want to talk to someone, but every conversation just feels like a chore. Everyone's doing bigger and better things or else you feel like you don't even know how to talk to people anymore. It feels really lonely and I wish I knew how to fix it too :/ Good to know that I'm not the only one who feels like this