Contains abuse - Having flashbacks, was this abuse or discipline?

TinaRapson · 18-07-2012, 03:33 PM

When I was younger and I did something wrong or argued with my dad, he would always end up hitting me hard across the face. Eventually I ended up hitting him back from the age of about 7ish. I was always the most difficult one out of me and my sister so I always ended up being told off but when she pushed me into a radiator when we were both really young, I remember getting really upset because I thought my dad would hurt her. The worst fight I remember is when I was 8 years old and he held me against my bedroom wall by my neck so I couldn't breathe and hit me. The last fight we had was November last year, I can't remember what started it but I wanted to be left alone to calm down but he just held on to me and wouldn't let me go (expecting me to calm down and talk to him like that) and left bruises on my arms. That was the first time I tried to run away.
I ran away a second time because I was taking too long in the bathroom, he was shouting at me, threatening to 'punch my lights out' so I ran out of the house while he was using the bathroom. Both times my mum ended up convincing me to come home.

I feel really traumatized by it all and keep getting flashbacks but am I just being too sensitive or was it actually abuse?

Heaven Knows · 18-07-2012, 06:17 PM

By the sound of it this passed the line between discipline and abuse. It sounds like he abused what power he thought he had/has over you. I'm sorry you've been through this. Do you have someone to talk this through with. You shouldn't be in a situation like this.
x Katie x

sapphire hearts · 18-07-2012, 07:08 PM

I think that crossed the line, but frankly what other people would label it as doesn't really matter, the experiences hurt and traumatised you, and those are legitimate feelings you have every right to express and seek help for.

I'm sorry this happened to you hun *offers safe hugs* PM me if you want to talk :)

Katie x

TinaRapson · 18-07-2012, 09:27 PM

I don't think he meant it to damage me, he was raised in South Africa and went to a boarding school where corporal punishment is acceptable. They say that people often copy their parents in the way they raise their own children. I just needed to know that I'm not over exaggerating like my sister said I was (she didn't see most of what went on). Next time I think I'll just call the police, at 16 he shouldn't really be hitting me anyway.

Porcelain Child · 18-07-2012, 11:50 PM

He definatly shouldn't be hurting you like that, that crosses the line of disapline.. I would definatly ring the police next time it happens..

Is there anywhere you can stay to get away from your dad?

I am here if you wanna talk..

TinaRapson · 19-07-2012, 12:15 AM

No not really, I usually run to the bathroom and lock the door though. He usually gives up when I do that. It's not like it happens every day anyway but if it does happen again then I'll just run to the bathroom, lock the door and phone the police next time I feel threatened. The main reason I posted this was just to be sure that I wasn't just over exaggerating.