Hello, i hope everyones well.
I was just wondering if anyone could give me advice on a situation.
Ive been with my boyfriend for nearly 3 months and was best friends with her for about a year before, when we were best friends i would confide in him about this and he would help me to stop by throwing my blades away. But i asked him today (because i havent told him ive been doing it) how he would react and he said he would be angry and annoyed.
Should i tell him or leave it?
No one can force you to tell him since it is your own decision. What I have learned from my past relationship, though, is that even though my ex-boyfriend would get angry or hurt when I would tell him, he still wanted to know. Usually when people get that way they just feel those things because it is hard for them to hear that the person they care about is hurting so much to do those things to themselves. Plus, a relationship is all about trust and honesty instead of hiding things from the other person, but that is just my opinion.
i'm kinda confused about who is who and all that...
but is the person that you called someone that you still have a relationship (not dating, just connections with) outside of self harm? because if you only talk to this person when you want to harm, it could very quickly come across as more dumping than confiding and get really tedious for the other person.
this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
I think he'd be more upset and hurt because you're hurting yourself, and he loves you, and probably it would hurt him to see you hurting.
If you feel you can tell him, maybe write it down on a letter for him? That way, he can read it over, absorb it, and if he does get mad, he can have some time to calm down and trying to absorb it all, and then be able to talk to you calmly about what's happening for you?
The people who love us say they will be angry, but I think that anger is hiding the hurt and the worry and the upset that you're hurting, because they love us so much they don't want us to be hurting at all, and especially not to hurt ourselves.
At the end of the day, it's your decision and your right (however strange that sounds) to self injure. You have your own reasons, and although people who don't self-injure may see that as "odd" or "strange" behaviour, please do NOT let it discredit how you're feeling.
I was with my boyfriend for 3 months before telling him, very similar to your situation. He knew the odd incident or whatever, but sitting him down and telling him how I felt/why I felt it was the most liberating experience ever. If he doesn't understand, he may do in time. And if not, then he's not worth being in a relationship with mdear. I COMPLETELY agree with the letter idea - it gives him time to read it and let it sink in, without any knee-jerk instant reactions. At the end of the day, his anger is spawned out of love. He cares about you, and it's pretty hard news to get about someone you love. All the best, please let us know how it goes.
