I don't know what to do anymore.

[The Ashtray Girl]

No matter how hard I try to stop cutting, I can't.

I can't stop thinking about everything people have said to hurt me and when I think of one thing, it seems hundreds of others come up along with it. These things are triggering me and I really, really want to cut.

Plus, all of my friends are ignoring me. I'm starting to think I'm not needed at all. When I try to tell some of them that I feel bad, they get mad at me because they're sick of hearing it or they say things that really hurt me but they don't even intend to. I'm alone and I don't know what to do.

[singing potato]

Talk, get it out, write it down. Keeping it bottled up isn't good. I'm here to listen whenever =)

[PassedExpectations]

what things have people said to help you feel good? it is easy to zero in on all the negatives and totally overlook and forget all the times that people have said positive things about/to you.

what have you tried to help you stop harming?

[Tig]

Hey,

It sounds promising that you are at least looking at ways to stop self harming and recognising that it's not something that can continue.

Like Katie said, it is really easy to remember all of the bad stuff and none of the good stuff. It's what our minds do! I wonder if it would be helpful for you to keep a notebook, or possibly two, but in one notebook you could write down positive things people have said about you? As part of my DBT homework years ago I had to go through cards, messages, speak to people and collect little quotes about myself and then stick it on the back of my mirror so when I had overwhelming negative thoughts, I could counteract that with positive thoughts. How would you feel about doing something like that?

I can give you a positive : You have reached out for support on a problem that is often difficult to share with others. You have been able to tell us in an assertive manner and articulated everything well. You come across as somebody who is caring. (Otherwise you wouldn't care what others thought of you)

When we are unwell, it can become painfully apparent who are true friends are. Some people do walk away and you do find out that really they were only there for the ride, rather than a true friendship but that's not true of everybody. Sometimes as well people step back, not because they don't care but because they worry they are making things worse for you as they don't know how to help. Do you think that might be the case with some of your friends?

I'm wondering if it might be helpful for you to call a helpline or something so you can speak to somebody about how you are feeling, without the worry of them acting as if they don't care? It can be a really validating experience and also help you to perhaps look at new ways of coping and overcoming the self harm.

For me, I find writing is really effective and not keeping it bottled up. Bottling everything up only leads to trouble further down the line.

x

[The Ashtray Girl]

Quote:

Originally Posted by PassedExpectations

what things have people said to help you feel good? it is easy to zero in on all the negatives and totally overlook and forget all the times that people have said positive things about/to you.

what have you tried to help you stop harming?

I've tried to distract myself and sometimes that is effective, but most of the time it isn't.

[PassedExpectations]

distracting generally just postpones dealing with the feelings behind the urge, so it is fairly common the plain distraction isn't effective for very long. rather, you can try to find things that either prevent the urge (ex: not spending time with people who make you feel bad about yourself. or doing things to build your self esteem and self confidence), or doing something that actually works through the urge.