Need someone to talk to.

[Cup_Cake_Bek]

Feeling really jittery and can't sit still. I feel really down and urgy. I have had enough of everything and just want things to slow down or stop all together. I don't know what to do. I need help. I need someone to tell me there is hope in the world. That this will go away and life can get better. I just want someone to wave a magic wand and make everything better. I feel really self distructive and so urgy its rediculous. My legs and arm are covered and I just want to stop I don't want this anymore. Is there anyone out there feeling the same? Is there anyone who knows what to do?

[GlitterTrashDoll]

Hi,

I can see you are new to the forums. So, firstly - Welcome to RYL!

This thread would be better suited in General Support and Advice or Self Harm Discussion and Support, as their part of the forum (General Chat) is for light hearted chat. You can figure out which forums threads belong in by reading the small description under the forum title. Putting your thread in the correct forum will ensure you get the best/most helpful responses to your thread and where better advice will be given.

You can either delete this thread, and recreate it in the appropriate forum, or you can report your own therad (use the little 'report' button under your current mood, and in the box that comes in type that you want this thread moving) this sends the report to the moderators, who will be able to move this thread to the correct board.

Take Care.

[Cup_Cake_Bek]

Hi
I have reported it.
Thank you
Bek

[GlitterTrashDoll]

No Problem.
I hope everything gets okay for you.

[Cup_Cake_Bek]

Thank you.

[Tig]

Hey,

I am sorry you are feeling so bad at the moment. Well done for reaching out on RYL, it is a big step to take because it means you took a step back from the urges instead of acting out on them straight away. You should be really proud of yourself for that, I think sometimes we forget the things we do to help ourselves.

Though it is hard to believe, there is hope and things do get better. I have been on RYL a long time and seen wonderful changes in people. I have also seen wonderful changes in real life. I have spent a lot of time in hospital because of my illness but the transformation in others has been really inspiring.
Even though I am far from recovered, I have also noticed massive changes within myself.
It is possible for you too. Right now though, I'd encourage you to take it a day at a time, less if you need too. If we get carried away and look at "forever" then it is daunting, overwhelming and frightening. You don't need to look too far ahead, just on the here and now and how you get through that.

I wish I had a magic wand, I'd be rich hehe!!

I can relate to having intense urges but at the same time thinking, "What on earth?!!" because my body is literally covered in scars and I have caused myself long-term damage yet at times I still want to self harm. It can make me feel crazy and like you described, ridiculous. However, I guess that's the way self harm and mental health illness is - not logical.

There are things you can try to help yourself. Right now, perhaps the best thing to do would be to look at distractions just to get you through the situation right now? This has loads of information on self harm, including the big distraction list. You don't have to read it all now although I guess it would take up a lot of time and perhaps by then the urges will be less! No, seriously, you don't have to read it all just what you think might help and then perhaps look at the distractions and choose one of them?

In recovery, it's all trial and error and recovery is different for everybody.

Are you getting any professional help?

We are here for you.

Lottie x

[Cup_Cake_Bek]

Thanks Lottie,

Yeah I am getting proffessional help I am on meds and I have been refered to a mental health worker but that was a month ago and I keep seem to be getting bounced around by different mental health professionals.

Do you really think it can get better?

I'm not sleeping and I'm just scared of covering myself in scars that I will have to look at for the rest of my life.

I just want to cut and I really know I shouldn't so I feel guilty all the time and like a zombie cause of meds and not sleeping. I'm stuck.

x

[Tig]

It sounds really hard for you, I'm sorry that you are feeling bounced around between different mental health professionals.

I definitely think it can get better, especially once you stop being messed around by the mental health team. I'm sure they aren't doing it intentionally but I know it happens a lot! However, once they have worked out your needs and how best to help you and you are able to engage with them, things can make a massive difference.

Do they know how the medication is making you feel, especially with the lack of sleep? I can definitely relate there. My meds are meant to knock me out but I'm wide awake and feel like a zombie/not really there but when I try to sleep it doesn't happen.

Remember with the cutting, whilst you want to do it you don't have to do it, although I know it doesn't feel like that! You are stronger than the urges to self harm. Would writing out a pro's and con's list help, or writing out a list of incentives for not self harming? If you do decide to do a pro's and con's list, try and write it as if you were writing it for a friend so it is a balanced list. Obviously if you write it when you are feeling emotionally, self harm is going to win because that's the way the mind will trick you.

x

[Cup_Cake_Bek]

I have been back to the doctor and she doubled my dose and has re-refered me. I have also been taken off jobseekers and applied for ESA just waiting for it to go through.

I am hoping this is an improovement because I ended up in A&E the other day and needed stitches.

I tried the pro and con list but I think I did it at the wrong time :-/

How are you doing?

x

[PassedExpectations]

i often find that the pros and cons list sounds like a great idea... and then i get into doing it and end up with more pros :P i've found that if i make the list when i don't have an urge, it will be much more accurate and have all the cons listed. then i can look back at the list when i do have an urge. if i try to write one during the urge, my thinking is too clouded by the desire to harm.

i KNOW that things can get better! i've experienced it myself, i've seen it in other people in real life, and i've seen it happen for people on here. things will never get to be perfect or pleasant all of the time, but you definitely aren't stuck feeling this miserable forever.