It's killing me inside. We're not sure if we'll ever be able to have kids and I have three friends who are pregnant by accident and quite a few others who are pregnant on purpose. And I just to want to scream at all of them to stop posting it all over facebook cause it's breaking my heart. I'm happy for them. Really. But it just hurts so much. Especially the ones who are accidentaly pregnant. We tried to hard and found it without alot of money and help it's not going to happen. :( But for some people... it just ****ing happens. And i'm so angry! Haven't I had to fight enough? Haven't I tried enough? No. Just add one more thing on top of everything else.
On top of that Mat asked his parents and my parents for permission to marry me (it's a Baha'i thing). His parents said yes. My mum said yes. But my dad is probably gonna say no. Because I made a mistake when I married my ex. Becasue I have **** judgement. Because i'm a ****ing terrible human being.
Getting close to the end of my tether again. Don't know what i'm gonna do.
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
I am sorry you have to go through this, but I am so glad I'm not the only person dealing with it. I know it SUCKS. The majority of my friends have kids, or are pregnant. None of them are married. ALL of them it was an accident. And here I see it on FB day after day. My husband and I would LOVE children. We have names picked out, all that jazz. But were not financially ready for it. Don't get me wrong, we are better financially then any of my friends with kids are (before the kids). But I don't want to have a child, and not provide them with the best things possible. So were tyring to wait until I finish college and we buy a house. Its not the fun thing to do though. Oh. And my mother in law is pregnant and due in three weeks. So, I can't really avoid babies at all :X And to make it worse my sister in law and her new husband are trying, so were going to have all of these babies in the family, but none of our own. My husband and I actually tried for a year to get pregnant and didn't, so now I worry we won't even be able to ever get pregant. Sorry to kind of end up ranting to you, but it's just nice to know I'm not the only one that has to go through this. But we can get through it, it sucks, but we can do it :)
It's awful. Becasue you can't say to them **** OFF You're upsetting me! But you have to be happy for them and all that jazz. It just sucks. And I sound awful but it's ****ing with my head. We're not gonna fall pregnant with out help and that help is pricey and just... blah! It sucks. Top that off with the issue with my dad giving his permission to get married and i'm just over it. :(
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
Jess I don't know what you have or haven't tried so far but there are lots of options to consider/try before ivf you know where I am kf you wanna chat through them in private, I spent years looking at all the options believing I was incapable of getting/staying pregnant and luckily I wasn't, although out of four pregnancies I only have two children, and it took a long time to get pregnant the last time and then it ended in miscarriage, kinda feel like my luck has changed. If you wanna chat pmor fb me, love ya x
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
It's not on my side which is the issue and I was told it's much easier to get a solution when it's a male problem. And if medication and stuff doesn't help then its easier to use a donor then if the problem is on the female side. We're not even looking at a fertility doctor until the end of the year. But it's still hard to see so many accidental pregnancy stuff >.< Thanks Manda :)
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
Matt's brother in law had the same problem they both worked themselves to the'bone to go private for ivf but in the meantime I saw numerous other things like herbal therapies, and procedures that have had successes any maybe worth looking at before going for the big guns x
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
There's lots of natural stuff to try from diet changes to accupncture/reflexology to herbal'medicine. Maybe worth a shot before you go invasive. They can take several samples and combine the results for artificial insemination if you wanted to try that before ivf/donor sperm.
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
We've looked at the diet changes and things. But he already eats like that. Im trying to lose weight as well. Have some meal replacement shakes coming in the mail because my lapband has a leak. Just. Sucks.
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
Smoking: slower, weaker sperm are found in smokers
Alcohol: studies have shown that alcohol can reduce the quality and quantity of sperm
Illegal drugs: Marijuana, cocaine, amphetamines and opiates all reduce quantity and motility, and increase abnormalities in sperm.
Heat: hot baths, saunas and steam rooms can all have a negative impact on sperm quality.
Hormones: anabolic steriods can drastically reduce fertility
Sexual lubricants: All including saliva except for vegetable based lubricants have a negative effect on sperm.
Our Advice
Follow our diet and lifestyle tips and keep your scrotum cool. Sperm production is known to decrease in the summer months so avoid prolonged activities where the scrotal temperature could be raised for long periods of time. This way you will be doing what you can to increase the chances of healthy sperm production.
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
I can relate to you so much but in a different way. I see people posting pics of their kids everyday, their accomplishments and just random things. And when I see these I get so upset because I don't have that with Keith. I get angry and sad and happy for them...so many mixed emotions.
I'm sorry honey that you are going through this. Try what Manda said. I don't know anything about it.
Anything like that's gotta be worth a go I reckon before thinking about subjecting yourself to more invasive procedures. Also it takes 100 days for sperm to be produced and reach maturity so you need to wait about 128 days into whatever diet you try before getting tested again so levels in the body can be raised and then see what you're producing. Also nhs reckons sex every 3 days if you're trying to conceive.
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
We're not trying anymore. Just having sex when we feel like it.
To the person who is reading this and telling my mum what I'm saying... Screw you. Am I not even allowed to have this? Am I to be judged on everything in my life? Am I even allowed to ask for support without my parents hearing about it? ****. You. I'm not HURTING anybody!!!! ****ing hell.
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
I just don't understand why they would do that? What do they gain?? I already struggle to feel like I'm a wanted part of my family. Whether that's justified or not it's how I feel. And now it's like somebody is trying to make it harder for me. Because they don't understand what it's like to crave harm. It doesn't mean I will but the people here understand. My family has never bothered to listen. To them it's just stupid attention seeking behavior! I feel like I'm 18 again, freshly kicked out of home and being yelled at because my brother said I looked at my sister in law "disrespectfully". But god dammit I'm ****ing amazing. I'm so tired of my family judging me! Do they wonder why I avoid family gatherings? Im the screw up. The one that has ****ed her life up. Who ****ed up a marraige and is fat and ****ed up. So I harm. ****ing so what? I don't go out and get pissed every weekend. Which is worse for your body! I've never drunk. I've never done drugs. I have severe depression, borderline personality disorder, anxiety and an eating disorder as well as insomnia!!! But I'm still ME!!!! Despite my family, the people who are supposed to love me unconditionally, judging me and calling me an attention seeker and saying everything I did was stupid, I'm still ME!!!
So **** you very much. I come here for support from people who don't judge everything I do or say. I come here because they don't make me doubt myself. I come here because i don't have anyone irl who I can talk to that understands. Mat knows I come here and he knows what I write. But he's just ****ing happy I have people who understand.
I'm ****ing amazing. Stop trying to take that away from me!!!
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
hi,
a bit late on this thread, but can very much relate to you casper fading, it SUCKS!
just wondering Mandimoo if you have any food stuffs that can help female fertility? its a nightmare searching the internet! so much conflicting info!
xxx
