This is sort of a dumb post, but it's been nagging at the back of my brain for a few days... And I know that this sounds really outlandish, and I'm not expecting anyone to believe me fully, as if I weren't myself and I heard myself saying this, I wouldn't believe myself either.
But, I'll give it a shot anyway...
So I have dreams that eventually come true. Sort of like, I can see pieces of my future. Not all of my dreams come true, but quite a few of them do and whenever they come true I find myself experiencing déjà vu and horrible dissociation.
Lately, I had a dream that my two only friends had seen me naked and decided that we shouldn't be friends anymore. I know the nakedness symbolizes my vulnerability and they will leave me when I'm most vulnerable. These two are the only friends that I have and I can't afford to loose them. I don't want them to see me vulnerable and I know I'm going to end up closing off to them because I'll be avoiding loosing them as friends. I'd rather push them away than have them leave me first.
This is silly, sorry, this sounded more like a confession than anything. I guess I just needed to get that off my chest.
I have had this too, and I know the de ja vu can be so horrible, I don't really know what to say as I'm not in a great place right now, but your definitely not alone x
One of these days, your heart, will stop, and play it's final beat..
I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not - Kurt Cobain
Trust yourself, you know more than you think you do.
Yeah this happens to me as well. Ill dream it then the next day I find it happening. life is funny that way.
Im a girl from the USA. I usually have a skinny body and a big head with puffy cheeks, my heads shaped like ball. :P:P:P:P Sometimes I wear no make and other times I put on to much and prance around with flashy boots. Self described Butthead.♥
I find I can relate to this too. I often feel like something that has happened to me has already happened to me in a dream, and this causes me to dissociate. I don't want to invalidate your experience at all, but I think in some cases the feeling that something has happened in a dream is part of the dissociation, that the dreamlike quality and sense of deja vu is actually part of the dissociative experience rather than being prompted by a dream.
I often have allegorical dreams like the one you describe--where things that happen symbolise things I fear. I think it makes a lot of sense to dream about things that frighten you, as REM sleep often uses dreaming to process bad memories and fears you have. Just because you've dreamt something doesn't mean it's going to happen, so I would try not to feel like that too much. I know I've dreamt about bad things happening and found it impossible to get away from the fear that this would cause them to happen, but it's not always going to happen. Something the thing you fear will happen, but it won't happen because you've dreamt about it. It's just that when you're frightened of something it ends up in your dreams because it's on your mind a lot.
Don't know if any of that will help... I do feel like I can relate to what you describe.
Foxfly,
I haven't really thought of that until you mentioned it, that the feeling may actually just be a part of the dissociation. Ive been trying to convince myself that what happened in my dream won't happen in reality, but it's happened before. I'm not so sure if I can take the risk of it happening.
Thank you for your post, though, it makes a lot of sense, what you said.
When I was about 5/6 I dreamt that I was a young adult and I had gone out with my parents and siblings to an ice cream farm that was surrounded by trees.
So imagine my suprise when I went with my family a few years to this ice cream farm and everything that happened in my dream happned!
I've also had dreams of arguements with friends that have come true before.
I find I can relate to this too. I often feel like something that has happened to me has already happened to me in a dream, and this causes me to dissociate.
Exactly this.
It's the most bizarre feeling in the world imo.
For me it's something happens and then I just suddenly start dissociating and getting the feeling that this has already happened and I know what's coming next.
The really odd thing is that the majority of the time, what I think's coming next actually happens next. Heh, the trouble is that it's pretty mundane things and is only a couple of minutes into the future.
Although what I think may be a possibility, since I don't believe it's actually premonitions, is perhaps the dissociation causes some kind of fracture in my perception of time and I know what happens next because it's already happened in real life whilst I've been spaced out. My periods of missing time would smooth over me catching back up when I'm not so badly dissociated.
Or of course it could accumulate and I'm constantly living in some strange bubble where it's a couple of minutes in the past and to everybody else I'm just really slow and dopey - This could explain why I feel so odd a lot of the time, heh.
"Tutto è bello..." - "Everything is beautiful..."
Nicola to Matteo, La meglio gioventù
