I'd laugh if someone called me 'emo'; I'm so far from the stereotype it'd be a ridiculous thing for them to say. Generally though, I take myself away from conversations about self-harm. I am ashamed, and I don't really want to hear other peoples' views on the subject, regardless of whether they're taking the p!ss, being understanding, inquisitive or anything else.
And the illusion of love is the only promise of defence, and even that will crumble.
It seems this has been happening to me more frequently. I don know if Im just now noticing or what. But it seems at least once a week the topic of "slitting wrists" as my lunc table calls it has come up. It always takes me a minute to recuperate-it's like I have a little panic attac when someone mentions anything about SI. Anyway, I, like you, am not sure how to approach it. I really want to tell them they have it all wrong, but they don't know I SI yet soo...yeah.
Its just a word. It doesnt even feel like it applys to me, because sh is only one part of me, and only one part of what applys to their idea of an emo. A lot of the rest is different. If i have any label its probably nerd, and im fine with that
He was no longer jean valjean but no. 24601 -les miserable
Some of life's mysteries will never be solved, such as why, after spending an entire evening listenong to Bach, do I find myself humming "the birdie song".......
I am reaching, but i fall, and the stars are black and cold, as i stare into the void of a world that cannot hold- les miserables
I wouldn't say anything in case they guessed I was sticking up for myself and not just in general.
♥ .I'm going to fall like I don't need saving. ♥
...My smile's just the armour I built when I was alone...
There was some part of me that hurt so badly, that I wouldn't ever be able to forget it.
It faded but the memories could bring it back any second, keeping me in the moment.
It would never fully heal. I could never really be free. I could never really be fixed. Now I just have to work out how to live whilst being broken.
I feel like I'm dying.
Generally I am very calmly spoken (just my general speaking voice really) when someone says that and I begin to disagree with them. Most people who that are just very misinformed so I generally try and give them abit more 'knowledge' if they listen or not is upto them.
I'm so sensitive about anything SI-related. I can't even hear someone say "I cut myself [accidentally]" without doing a double take. If the topic gets to suicide or self harm ever I just try to avoid the conversation. It kills me. But not enough people know I cut. And people say things without thinking. It's like they just don't get how serious it really is. I am so not emo. And I am a cutter. People just don't understand. It's sad that it took me cutting to understand.
PM me if you ever want to talk. I'm always willing to help out <3
You may know me as "lost.in.a.strange.pl" on MyBrokenPalace
With most people, it is a misunderstanding and they don't SH, so they don't 'get' it. Although I realise that there is a line, it can just be okay to tell someone not to make such jokes because they're not tasteful. I've disagreed with people at work who have said they're going to 'slit their wrists' or something and I've never had a problem with it. If they ask why I dislike the joke, I say that I know someone who has issues with it and if they would keep such comments to a minimum, I would be grateful.
With the 'emo' thing, I don't really have an issue with the word. It makes me laugh and I am sure I've heard myself talk about how I am feeling as 'emo' or laugh about the stereotype. That's what it is, you see, a stereotype, not a definition. We can't box people into categories now, can we?
Most people don't actually realise the effect that their words are saying. When I was in secondary school, my friends (especially one) made a particularly undesirable joke about cutting. I didn't say anything other than to laugh, nervously. Later that day, I was in the pastoral care office because people had been through my bag and my SH was exposed. The friend who'd made the joke was also a part of that. A few days later, she apologised and said that she had no idea. As I said, most people don't have a clue. It's up to the people who do SH to help those that don't understand. We've just got to be patient with that. It'll take time.
If the joke is actually funny and not offensive, to be honest though, you'll probably find me laughing, too!
Kinda depends on my mood that second. If I'm already angry, and I've had a bad day, chances are I'm going to not so kindly explain SI/SH.
If I'm feeling low and depressed, I'll probably walk away with my tail between my legs.
And if I'm generally in a stable mood (which doesn't happpen too often, but I'm getting better!) that day, I'd take the time to explain calmly SI/SH.
But like it was said above, "emo" is just a word. It was big when I was in middleschool and somewhat in highschool. In the end, screw it; emo is one of the better names misinformed people have come up with for self-injurers. At least, I've definitely been called worse.
Last edited by ReleaseTheory : 26-04-2012 at 08:35 PM.
Reason: Re-read my entry and I don't want to be misread...
kinda bothers me once in a while...
Sometimes i think "if only they new they wouldnt be laughing and joking about it"
But other times i just brush it off
I don't go overboard with it, but I usually say something like:
"Just because people self harm doesn't mean they're 'weird' or 'emo.' Grow up and find out more about self harm before you start talking **** about it."
And a lot of people I'm around usually say something about suicide and how it's for "emo" people and what not. Here I become infuriated, because I attempted, my brother attempted, my other brother's ex attempted, and my best friend's brother committed. I say something along these lines:
"Can you all shut the **** up? People who commit suicide needed help that they asked for but never got. Try watching people you love attempt it and barely make it alive, then come back to me and tell me that they were weird and emo for trying it." Then I walk away -.-
I can report that this gets better as you (and subsequently your peer group) grows up a bit. I haven't had to confront the "emo" stereotype, since I was a little too old for that when it really got started. Dating myself a little I guess. Oh well.
I was (and am) into "goth" dress and culture, however, so have been stereotyped a fair amount over the years. I usually don't take up when someone says something uninformed or deliberately snide, because I don't have to justify myself to anyone for any reason. The one exception to that is if it's to establish a boundary, like with a roommate or coworker. Then I may object, or open a discussion with them about it, depending on their intent and the context.
I tend to be very outspoken about self harm, I used to be incredibly ashamed of it and for years I refused to talk about it but once I got older it became easier to talk about and I am very passionate in helping people understand more about self harm.
I personally dislike being stereotyped but I tend to think anyone who says your emo just because you self harm, is an imbecile but like so many things these days people are a bit ignorant about the issue of self harm because they don't understand it or have only heard some untrue things on tv about it, so I can't really hate on someone just because they don't understand.
If someone makes a comment like that about it than I do try to calmly explain it to them but most people (especially teens) tend to ignore me or just don't care but occasionally their are some people willing to try and understand.
“What if I'm so broken I can never do something as
basic as feed myself? Do you realize how twisted
that is? It amazes me sometimes that humans still
exist. We're just animals, after all. And how can an
animal get so removed from nature that it loses the
instinct to keep itself alive?” ♥
Well, most people i know, when i try to correct them they do it more to annoy me....sooo...
"I don't know why i cut myself, god, give me a sign or help, i won't cry, it'll be fine, ill take my last breath, push it out my chest, till there's nothing left."
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Hollywood undead
If you stop taking things so personally, or interpreting things as an attack on your personally, then it won't bother you. It's a word. That's all it is. A word that has certain connotations and stereotypes attached to it, yes, but still just a word. I use the word emo to describe my thoughts, feelings and actions.
If you stop taking things so personally, or interpreting things as an attack on your personally, then it won't bother you. It's a word. That's all it is. A word that has certain connotations and stereotypes attached to it, yes, but still just a word. I use the word emo to describe my thoughts, feelings and actions.
Talk is cheap. If this seems gosh just that easy to you, since you found the time to post some random undirected criticism, perhaps you could also find a moment to put your money where your mouth is and suggest some of the ways you have been able to maintain your own self-confidence. Sounds like you might have something useful to offer.
In reality, if someone were self-conscious about this stereotype, or the way they're perceived by others, changing the way they think is not as easy as just shutting off self-consciousness. It requires work, and in some cases outside help. It's part of my own mental illness cocktail that I have the social skills, awareness (and interest) of a turnip, but I can see where counseling and maybe some social experimenting with different peer groups might help a person get some perspective on it.
I'm pretty sure as far as "emo" goes, it's a fad, and will go the way of all fads eventually. Disco still has its fans, but it's no longer a thing of the moment. :P
When people say things like "Emos are so pathetic cutting themselves" or "im such a failure, I'm gonna go emo and cut myself" i like to point out to them that i am 1) a self harmer and 2) most defiantly not emo.
Usually works a treat, mostly because people who know me well and didn't know i cut are so shocked that i actually do.
Does depend on my mood though. I can handle a joke, hell ill even join in if I feel like it. But the way i think is that as a SHer i know where the line is, they probs don't.
~ SilentBoy
Some people just need a high-five. To the face. With a chair.
Emily xx
