Boyfriend and self harm

[PointeShoes-x]

Sorry if this post isn't worded amazingly, I'm not feeling great.

So basically I used to self harm a lot, but in the last year and a half or so I've been doing a lot better, only doing it maybe once every month or so on average. I've been going out with my boyfriend for a little over a year and I've always been honest with him. He doesn't understand the self harm but he's been great about it. But lately I've been feeling worse. I've cut tonight and I'm worried that I'll start doing it again more regularly. Don't worry, if this happens I'll go to my doctor and everything, but I'm worried about how to deal with my boyfriend. I know he'll be upset and he'll try and make me promise not to do it again, but I just can't do that. I'm scared he'll be angry too. :( In the past he's asked me to call him if I feel like doing it and I've tried, but honestly I don't find him particularly helpful in that situation. He doesn't do anything wrong but I think it's the fact that he doesn't understand.

Sorry for the slight ramble, I was just wondering if anyone had been in a similar situation or had any advice on how to deal with it? Thanks.

[goingincircles]

Hi,

I do know what you mean, kind of... I had been sleeping with my ex boyfriend a while before it came up about my scars and even then he was polite enough not to really ask... I know he could not particularly understand but he didnt make a big deal about it at the time tho i know if i had still been doing it he would have. i am sorry i dont have much advice, but i just wanted to let you know i have read your post and understand :) xx

[Strawberry.Bananas]

I understand your situation as I've been there too. My self-harm fluctuates, I go through good times and bad times and my (I think now ex?) boyfriend never really understood but sort of accepted it as part of me. When I was going through bad times he would get me to promise I'd stop or to call him or something but like you say that's not always something you can do and talking to somebody that doesn't understand is probably the least helpful of all. Luckily, after a while, my scars, even very recent (day/day before he visitied) were just accepted or ignored. He didn't like it but he accepted it. I don't know your boyfriend so I can't speak for him but I think you need to talk to him and let him know that you do try your best but you can't promise to stop because it's not that simple. Maybe tell him that you can get him some material to read on self-harm and supporting a self-harmer that might help him to understand and help you more?
I'm always free for a chat if you need.
Sorry if I've not been much help and just rambled on.
x

[binkybaby]

hey ladies! i know how you feel. my boyfreind is the same.sometimes i wonder what he really thinks of me :/ i know he loves me as i am pregnant with his baby :) hes going to be great daddy :D!