i dont have the energy

emptyxcolorsxx · 23-02-2012, 04:52 AM

didnt want to wake up this morning. purposely overslept wondering if anyone would notice im two hours late for school.
no one noticed i was still here.
i wish id stayed in bed.

i dont want to wake up again.

Veggie · 23-02-2012, 06:00 AM

I don't known you much.. But think of everyone that would miss you.
and my experience school people are stupid. I missed over thirty days and the only noticed 10 of them.

gah I hoped that helped if that made since

crazykat · 24-02-2012, 11:14 AM

Did you want to talk about what's got you feeling so bad? Hold on there

emptyxcolorsxx · 26-02-2012, 01:30 AM

no one would care. i know they wouldnt.

feeling unsafe.

crazykat · 26-02-2012, 06:53 PM

I care, what's going on?

emptyxcolorsxx · 27-02-2012, 12:50 AM

nothing is okay at all. ive been posting for help entirely too much and i hate it but i feel like everything is slipping from me. theres a small part of me that wants to hold on but its fading really fast. im tired of doing this alone and im tired of hiding my pain and im tired. just. so. damn. tired. i have no one in real life i can talk to about it. im hurting all over and i just want it to end im sick of holding on.
i cant look at myself without feeling him on my skin and its so disgusting and worse because i know i deserved every bit of it even though i try to tell myself i dont. how could i be so vile and so disgusting? i hate remembering and i just want to forget forget forget. ive spent most of today in bed. not wanting to do anything, not having the will to do the few things i did want to do. im tired tired tired. tired of the memories and tired of feeling like i have to jsutify what im feeling.

i give up.

crazykat · 01-03-2012, 11:11 AM

Sorry it's taken a few days for me to respond, I have limited internet access at the moment. There's no such thing as posting too much for support, if you need it that's what we are here for. Things sound really distressing for you at the moment. The abuse that happened wasn't your fault and it doesn't make you disgusting or vile. Have you ever talked about what happened with someone? You are worth fighting for. Take care
Kat xxx