I dont know from experience as ive never self harmed, but I do have a lot of scars from surgery, it hasnt put guys off I dont think...
The answer to your question is that it may put some people off, and it may cause some people to give you grief, but these are the very people who are not worthy of your time. Stick to those that love you for who you are.
“The consequences of today are determined by the actions of the past. To change your future, alter your decisions today.”
All the guys I've ever met/been involved with have never been openly negative about my scars/cuts. And anyone else who's ever seen them hasn't made a big deal of it (well, not to my face).
Scars can come from anywhere these days - it's like seeing someone with some other type of injury, no-one really bothers to ask where it's from.
With guys it might be easier to let them know beforehand (if you trust them), just so both of you are clear about what the other person does/knows =]
most the guys ive been with haven't mind, my bf now, as far as i know, doesnt bother about my scars, because he makes me take my cardy off and just little things like that.
the only time i have had issues is when an ex knew i was doing it when i thought he was asleep, but i guess thats fair enough.
but yeh like said above, might be a little bit better to tell them beforehand just so they don't feel weird and awkward about it maybe.
My boyfriend encourages me to wear short sleeves in summer, and takes me swimming. He says my old scars aren't a problem, but making new ones is not allowed.
I've never had any comments from the general public about my scars, though they're pretty faded now. I think I get stared at a lot, especially when in swimming stuff, but I don't know if I'm just being paranoid or not. *shrugs*
If the bombs go off, the sun will still be shining, 'Cause I've heard it said that every mushroom cloud has a silver lining.
If you meet a decent guy, it won't bother him. My bf hates when I cut, but he says the scars don't stop him from loving me or from finding me attractive. Like he says, he wouldn't sleep with me if they bothered him!
If any guy is put off by them then he isn't worth it! If you feel confident enough to go out with them showing then you do that!!
~If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see.. you can find out first hand what it's like to be me..~
WhichyWay is my baby sister.. I love you baby girl ^_^
Mine doesn't even seem that bothered by them. He doesn't like me making new ones which is fair enough.
I think if people think that it doesn't bother you then it's less likely to bother them if you get what I mean
Same. Might even kind of like them... You know, some people like tattoos because they (should) have a story, memories, and feelings behind them. Scars are the same way only they're even more deeply personal. In some creepy way I find scars attractive. :S
From my experience, some guys have been 'turned off' by it. I think mainly it is quite a shock because I guess mostly when a guy sees you and likes you it doesn't run through his head, 'I wonder if she self-harms' and then when they see it may be too much for them to deal with. The way I go about handling this is to be very honest and up-front about it. If I'm getting to know or seeing a guy I tell him. Then there are no surprises or awkward moments later when you are getting intimate. I've had guys that have freaked out about it and not been able to cope with it but for me, that's completely acceptable and it's better to know early on because if they can't handle it, I won't want to be with them anyway. My current boyfriend has always been very understanding about it, and he once said it makes him love me more. So Asura - I don't think it's creepy that you find it attractive.
I find guys usually stay away if they see scars :/ but i like to think if someone cared enough it really wouldnt be an issue. I think its really good that some guys are so supportive, its not creepy at all
I've never had anyone say that scars are a turn-off.
My forearms are almost always visible, and if people have purposefully not talked to me because of them, then I'd rather not talk to them either!
I've even asked a rather critical ex if it ever bothered them, and they said it didn't at all. (And this was someone who got with me as I had infected wounds!)
I think it's a good idiot-protection if nothing else. If someone has a problem with it, they're probably not worth being around. Having them instantly see your scars makes you not even have to bother with them!
Funfact: I keep reading this as "do ... turn gays off?"
(Freud would've had fun with me, his whackjob theories..)
TBH if someone can't accept that that was part of your past, they're *probably* not worth it.
But really? they're scars. It doesn't change anything else about *you*
Could people be suprised initially? sure. Especially if they weren't expecting it. Sometimes shocked reactions come off wrong, just adding info here.
To be honest, I have never ever had someone react badly to scars. I've had a guy ask "what's that" when he saw scars on my arm once, but he never reacted badly. Any other guy has just ignored the scars and not questioned them at all.
I think it's only if there are fresh marks or newish scars that, not turn them off, but make them worry about your well being.
And the way I see it, if a guy does not accept my scars, then he isn't worth it because my scars are a part of me, it would be like being "turned off" someone because they have freckles or something.
My ex never cared, they didn't bother him at all. One of my other ex boyfriends broke up with me when I told him about my self harm and the scars. The way I see it is that some guys mind but most don't. If someone really cares about you they won't be bothered by them at all.
You should be upfront about it first though because you do not want a guy who will ditch you once he finds out.
No guy has ever thought my scars were a turn off but than again over time my scars have faded a lot so only a few are still really noticeable.
“What if I'm so broken I can never do something as
basic as feed myself? Do you realize how twisted
that is? It amazes me sometimes that humans still
exist. We're just animals, after all. And how can an
animal get so removed from nature that it loses the
instinct to keep itself alive?” ♥
If i see someone with scars it makes me more interested if anything, because i have them myself so it makes me want to know more about them and why they have them
~ SilentBoy
Some people just need a high-five. To the face. With a chair.
Im got a guy, but when i see a girl with scars that wouldnt turn me off (i like girls) unless theres absolutely massess all over their arms, i probably wouldnt look at them and be attracted to them on seeing them, but then if id been attracted to their personality then saw them i wouldnt care
He was no longer jean valjean but no. 24601 -les miserable
Some of life's mysteries will never be solved, such as why, after spending an entire evening listenong to Bach, do I find myself humming "the birdie song".......
I am reaching, but i fall, and the stars are black and cold, as i stare into the void of a world that cannot hold- les miserables
