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If at first you don't succeed, try try try again.
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: UK, Surrey
I am currently:  
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Parents, I was pretty young when I started, so I don't actually remember how they found out, but I do remember when my father was in my life, he really didn't understand my self harming behaviors, and he got pretty angry with me(he's quite an aggressive, violent person in general). He also tried to "label" me. He's not really been a father, and he comes in & out of my life as he pleases. I don't really engage in any conversation with him about my life behind closed doors because it gets me nowhere&only ends up hurting me.
I also remember when my grandparents(my fathers parents) found out about my overdosing, and they told my father, and he went nuts about it. I was pretty upset they told him, and how he reacted, but yeah, that's him for you.
My mother I think is pretty much used to my self harming, she still finds it disgusting, but who wouldn't?
However, my mother is the only person I think who I can talk to about anything regarding my problems in this family. She may not understand, but understanding isn't always the key. It's listening. Due to her own problems, she has trouble listening/taking in information/remembering things, but I still try and talk to her and it helps sometimes just to talk to her, and vice versa. She talks to me, too, sometimes.
Due to the degree of my self harming, most of the time I do need medical attention for it, and I seem to get infections every time I self harm, but my mother doesn't want to take me to hospital/accompany me, so I don't go (I hate calling ambulances, and I hate going anywhere by myself, I rarely ever do).
In future, I'll probably only ever go if I hit something that I cannot control or if I do other behaviors that require serious medical attention like overdosing(if, in my opinion, it's "serious").
My mother has her own problems, I still love her, I still care about her, I worry excessively over her but I just hope one day she'll get help, too. I understand why she doesn't want to go to hospital with me, it's not the best place to be. And I understand why she gets upset about me/with me.
It's hard for people who don't self harm to know what to say/do. I get that, and I understand that. It can be quite draining on them, as well, which I also understand.
Friends - well, I have no friends locally. I only have friends online & it's pretty basic how they find out, they either know me from here, or they know I self harm from me talking about it/talking to them about it. All of my friends are from online forums anyway, so they most likely do have problems similar to mine, so that makes them more understanding and, well, nice to me!
Other family members - most of them are aware I self harm, they just really don't understand it, or me for that matter. I've been bullied & abused from a lot of them, I won't say that stops me caring about them, because it doesn't. I still love them even if they don't love me/have hurt me before.
I don't really understand "normal" people, or people who haven't got problems like me. I don't know how to talk to them, I don't know how to relate to them, and frankly, sometimes they would piss me off with how petty they can be. But, that's another story.
At the end of the day, if people don't like me or how I am/who I am, tough crap. I am how I am. I am who I am. Don't be in my life if you don't like it.
If people don't understand you, the only thing you can do is try to explain it to them in basic terms. Maybe have them research online about things.
If you don't want to do that or if you have tried and had no luck, what I do is just not talk about it and try not to let them know about it, just try to be "normal" I suppose.
It helps avoid arguments / fall outs / nastiness / etc for me.
I do the above in relation to family members who haven't a clue about me. Just be nice & put the smile on.
This has been so long, sorry! Got me thinking about a lot.
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