Selective Mutism

[LauraLeopard]

I have been diagnosed with selective mutism. I was diagnosed when i was about 4 years old, and my parents and everyone had been told it was something i would "grow out of" and all my online research suggest people are expectied to grow out of this condition. However i am now 22 and i still suffer from it.

For those who don't know what it is this is how if affects me. With family and close friends i can happy speak to them. However with new people it can vary on how much i trust them, what i make of them and where i am. At home i can usually speak more easily with new people, whereas in public i would find it impossible. I also lose my ability to speak to even close friends and family when i am stressed in any way or anxious. I can still write things down no problem it's just the speaking. I have been taught sign langauge to some degree so this can also help.

I also suffer from depression and various other anxiaity issues. Though i have been free from self harm for 3 years.

I just wondered if anyone else had experiance of this, or could offer some advice.
This condition has left me unable to find employment though i do alot of voulntairy work.

[Bellatrix]

I didn't speak for months when I was a child.

Now i'd say it doesn't affect me. But if I am ery stressed/anxious and people don't say the 'right' thing that has the 'right' number of letters and such I will stop speaking.

I find taking deep breaths and trying to challenge the thought with logic helps. Like telling yourself, 'if I speak, nothing bad will happen, I will be able to express myself properly and things will be okay'.
What have you tried in teh past?

[talaiporia]

Only as a child - I had a twin. I think that was probably a big part of why we didn't speak, at least to outsiders. My mum says she'd hear us talking, and as soon as she came in the room we'd be quiet and refuse to speak. It got better during First School though, so we'd pretty much 'grown out' of it by about eight.

Do you know why it started?
Have you had/thought about having therapy for it?

[Platypus]

I was diagnosed with Selective Mutism when I was 16 (and I had it from the age of about 4). I pretty much only spoke to my parents and close relatives up until that age and had no friends.

I never thought I'd 'grow out' of it either and I'm not really sure how I did...However, when I started sixth form college I 'overcame' SM quite rapidly and could speak in many situations. This may partly be due to the anti-depressants I started taking (Citalopram); I listened to some hypnotherapy CDs; and I also had a support worker who I met with at school and gradually became able to speak to.

I'm 22 now and I'm physically able to speak in many everyday situations, but I still have some problems. People can tell I'm very anxious and socially awkward and I have very low self esteem. I even feel self conscious about communicating online which is why I rarely post. I'm not sure if its possible to completely 'grow out' of SM.

Have you tried taking any medication? I think Citalopram really helped take the edge off my anxiety and depression. I listen to an 'Instant Confidence' hypnotherapy CD by Paul Mckenna which you can probably find somewhere online for free. If you can afford seeing a hypnotherapist then that might help. I never found psychologists useful because I couldn't speak to them and they're quick to jump to bizarre conclusions. Have you ever had any sort of therapy or support workers?

In theory, if you can do voluntary work then you should be allowed to do paid work. However, I've also found this doesn't really work in practice...but you could just claim benefits and carry on volunteering. That's what I'll do if I never get a job. Or set up a business that doesn't involve too much direct communication with people.

Hope this helps in some way. Good luck

[Freakazoid87953]

I cannot speak to people who are not my family at all i was diagnosed with aspergers syndrome when i was 15. i still cant speak to people im 19 now. im not sure where in the world you are but over here there are day programs for people with mental illness/disabilities that help us get jobs and stuff maybe you could go to one of those if you have them were you are?

[Icecube. Swirls]

I am in year 11 at the moment and I also have selective mutism- this is on my statement of special educational needs so that teachers who work with me understand my needs.

I find it difficult to talk to people who are not my family, I find it difficult to talk to people with authority (so talking to teachers, doctors, dentists) are extremely difficult.

What I find helps is that if me and my family are seeing someone who I haven't met e.g. My parents 2nd cousins , what my parents would do they would tell me about their cousin and show me a picture of their cousin before we go to their cousin house.