Call it paranoia but when you think you are being followed and constantly watched by the police / feds its not a very nice feeling I can tell you because I don't know you they are with me always whether in the shower getting ready for bed they are constantly there whispering among themselves ...... I don't know if its because I don't have a good relation with the police its them I sence and feel
i understand that. are you able to tell them to get lost? that's helpful for some people.
i understand that. are you able to tell them to get lost? that's helpful for some people.
I have told them to go but they refuse to they just laugh at me .... And tell me they staying and waiting for me to screw up .... I just try ignoring them sometimes it works a lot of the time it don't they constantly watching me
Hmm, seems like there's just a set of specific traits of your condition that they don't have a specific label for, and need to find out what would best suit you personally... which to me, sounds good, because if they just decided to categorize your symptoms, it might not cover all aspects of it.
My mood swings are still frequent but I'm slowly gaining more control over them.
Thanks, that's really helpful. However I still don't really understand what psychosis is or why I'm being referred there, meep.
I'm glad you're getting more control over your moodswings.
Erm... weird question... not really sure how to word it... is there anyone in a recovery phase from psychosis rather than more acute? I find myself really confused by past/current 'delusional' stuff (I never really had a big problem with voices and the like) and don't know what's real and what isn't. It's really disorientating. How do you actually know what's a real experience and what isn't?
i have this problem too... at the moment im just pretending to people that i know i was previously 'delusional'. i dont know whats real and whats not. dont know what to believe.
I just looked through most of this thread and it's GREAT.
I started experiencing schizoaffective symptoms early last year, and I hear voices in my head. I also see things from time to time that I think are real, but no one else can see them. And apparently I sometimes don't make any sense, even though I make sense to myself.
I've always been out of touch with reality, but it's more noticeable now. But I'm glad I'm not the only one. :3
Hello, I'm Duck, I'm new here. I have schizoaffective disorder (they keep changing their minds but something like that), and I got out of hospital about a month ago. I stopped taking my meds a few days ago because I am trying to do a postgrad MSc and they make it hard to concentrate. I know my brain is going a bit wonky now, but I think I can stay on top of it. The MSc is the only thing I want to do, I'm not interested in treatment that does not help me with it.
Hi Duck. What MSc topic are you doing? What medication are you on? Have you tried others?
I had my aripiprazole decreased to 10mg (but I remain on olanzapine 20mg) and today is the first day of the decreased dose. I feel awful. (I have schizophrenia by the way) I don't normally have mood problems but today I have been so depressed, perhaps it could be a rebound effect from lessening of dopamine/5HT1A partial agonism? I am not sure. And I am scared, of intruders in this house. I will have an early night tonight. I did quite a lot of revision though, considering. Tomorrow I am hopefully going to the gym.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
I am sorry you are having a bad time changing meds. I always feel bad the first few days of any change. Try giving it a week or two to let your brain settle down a bit?
My first degree is psychology, now I am studying public health. Public health is about how to stop people getting ill in the first place, so I get to learn about everything from biochemistry to social policy - I like it very much. This term I am mostly learning statistics, which I like, and qualitative methods, which is confusing because there are not clear answers.
I have taken venlafaxine 150mg for about two years. I like the venlafaxine a lot and have not stopped that. I tried more than 10 other antidepressants before venlafaxine. I am also supposed to take amisulpride 400mg but I do not like that so much. I started it six weeks ago in hospital.
Amisulpride is better than other antipsychotics I have been on (tried olanzapine, quetiapine, aripiprazole) because it makes me less 'flat' and sleepy, but I still feel somewhat stupid and apathetic on it, which is no good for post-grad study. It is also sending my prolactin levels high, my breasts are really sore. Waiting for prolactin blood tests to come back next week. It is frustrating as the elevated prolactin is directly related to the mechanism of action (D2 activity), so there is no point them trying bromocriptine etc.
Do you think amisulpride is a partial agonist? The literature is conflicting.
I am doing a taught MSc rather than research, so my project is only a small part of the overall marks. I think I might end up working on a project about a computer-based decision aid to help parents decide whether to give their child MMR vaccine.
I really want to go on to do a PhD, and that would be a good base for looking at how people make choices around psych meds, and what sort of information is useful to us for informed consent.
I do not think getting hospitalised a few weeks into my course was a good way to encourage anyone to take me on as a PhD student, though. Sorry, I am feeling fed up and gloomy today.
It's ok Duck. I've sectioned 4 times in four terms during my uni course, but I don't think it should make it less likely for either of us to be chosen for a PhD, as if they rejected us on the grounds of having an illness, that would be against the Disability Discrimination Act.
I believe amisulpride is a D2 partial agonist at doses at or below 300mg, and above that, a dopamine antagonist.
Thanks. I'm up now and not as tired as yesterday. I hope to go to the gym today.
I worry sometimes that my meds are affecting my cognition, but I keep reminding myself that I got 68% in my first year chemistry exam despite 2 involuntary hospitalisations and also being on the meds. And I know that without the meds I get so ill that I end up with four police officers pinning me to the ground while I'm freaking out because I think they're Spies.....so I'm going to stay on the meds. I don't think you should stop taking your meds as you don't want to end up in hospital again.
Your degree sounds very interesting and you sound intelligent.
I found amisulpride made my prolactin high too but I loved the absence of periods. I never want to have children so I'm considering to undergo medical treatment now to stop my periods as olanzapine and aripiprazole do not generally raise prolactin and they certainly don't in me.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
Steel Maiden, I am very impressed that you are still doing your course after being sectioned four times. People seem quite surprised that I have come back after just being in hospital once, but I want to study because it gives me something else to think about than being confused and miserable.
It must be very difficult to keep up with pharmacology from hospital, don't you have to spend lots of time in labs? I had to teach myself most of last term out of textbooks.
68% after being in hospital is really impressive. I had to take my first exam of the course 10 days after getting out of hospital. I need to pass to stay on the course - we don't have results back yet, so I am worried.
I know I can think better off the meds. Amisulpride decreases mesolimbic dopamine levels, which makes everything less interesting, and will make me worse at pattern recognition and set shifting, which are both important skills for epidemiology.
But the meds also mean I will make fewer type 1 errors so I will not be so paranoid and have weird thoughts.
Positives of taking meds:
- I am less likely to have to go to hospital again. I really do not like hospital, the food is awful and there is nowhere quiet.
- If I am not in hospital, it will be easier to carry on with my course.
- I am less scared of other people when I am on my meds. I need to be able to talk to people to do group projects.
- It is harder for Them to trick me into doing something that could harm me.
- Last time I was sectioned the police put me in handcuffs and leg ties and I was strip searched and left in a police cell for 14 hours. I do not want that to happen again. I am scared of the police.
Negatives of taking meds:
- High prolactin - sore breasts, possible long-term side effects. I need to wait until next week to talk to doctor before making a decision about this.
- Cognitive effects: flat affect, reduced pattern recognition, slower set shifting. These are important skills for epidemiology. But if I am in hospital then I can't study properly and I will never be able to get a job in Public Health if I am in hospital lots.
It is difficult. I think I need to keep taking my meds, at least until I have seen my doctor and talked about it sensibly. It is becoming harder and harder for me to remember not to do what They want.
Thank you for helping me decide. I have taken my meds tonight and soon I will go for a run. Do you go running outside too, or at the gym?
Today I went to an open day at my local radio station. It was interesting.
I've noticed this thread going very slowly lately too, but as I never post, it doesn't make too much difference to me...
I'm glad you're trying to come to terms with that idea.
Normally, I can tell that "symptoms" aren't real, because everyone I ask about them tend to react as though what I'm saying doesn't make any sense, and they try to talk me out of it. Often that makes me feel like those people are against me etc, but it kinda helps me realise that no one else can see how those thoughts are real.
Also, I find that if I'm obsessively thinking over something (that I've been told is impossible or makes little sense), and get upset by thinking about it too much, that normally turns out to be a symptom.
Aaaand... If I'm thinking about something, and I spot a loophole in my thinking, so just randomly come up with some other very complicated argument to fix the loophole or gap in my logic... Yeah...
... Sorry I seem to be rambling. Hope that ^ was helpful in some kind of way?
If the bombs go off, the sun will still be shining, 'Cause I've heard it said that every mushroom cloud has a silver lining.
Is there anyone you trust to check whether things are real or not?
I have to accept that there are some topics I cannot trust myself to think straight on. This is really annoying! But I have learnt to recognise patterns, like if I think that serious things are my fault, I need to check that out before acting on it.
My head is going round and round with what They want me to do. They try to convince me that it is a good plan and will make things better. This is not true. Last time I tried to do Their plan, I was in hospital for two months and everybody was upset.
I want to be at university. University is important. Their plans are not, They do not want me to be at university. It is hard to remember this sometimes. What do you do to remember not to do what voices say?
Does anyone else go to Hearing Voices groups? I do and I have found it useful. I have also done CBT which helped me a lot. What sorts of talking treatments have helped you?
I found amisulpride made my prolactin high too but I loved the absence of periods. I never want to have children so I'm considering to undergo medical treatment now to stop my periods as olanzapine and aripiprazole do not generally raise prolactin and they certainly don't in me.
Do you know if there are long term consequences of amisulpride stopping your periods? I want kids in the future and I'm scared that it'll mess it up. I looked online and this is the closest I found to an explanation.
