Contains alcohol - Just want to be a somebody! Just not this

[amy.s]

Today has been horrid. Broke down at work and have now been signed off for 2 weeks. I started writing on here 2 hours ago but just deleated it as i can see now how all that i have been through has had an impact on me and my drinking.....but i cant understand with me being in so much heart ache and pain am i now doing it to my family. I keep writing on here and deleting it, i sound like the worst mother, wife person in the world. I hate myself so very much and i just cant see the light at the end of my very long dark tunnel. I have been constantly let down by the substance misuse group who have now been taken over by a different company and only now 7 months down the line after being reffered to them am i booked in to see a support worker who is to help me through my treeatment. I feel its too late and im forever to be a nobody and i cant save my family or me. My wonderful beautyful children deserve better, i love them so much and i dont want them to grow up with a mum like me. My husband has been put through hell but i am also angry with him for not listening to me 2 years ago when i felt us drifting appart and he never put in any effort to help me fix us or our my issues with our home. I used to have such dreams and goals, now i just see a failier and lost chances. I dont even want to find the old amy, she was rather crap as i ended up here so how do i move forward finding someone i can live with, someone i can say i am proud to be!!!!

[Sigma]

It's never too late, just hang onto that. What you have done (or do) is not the whole of who you are. There are ways of changing, and that is a great example to set your children - you can face up to the problem and do something about it.

Have you seen the support worker yet?

[talaiporia]

How are you doing?