If you are feeling suicidal, post here...

[muchlove]

Lauren - I agree with Katie and Roli. Try and get an earlier appointment. And if you struggle to tell the GP what the problem is the write it down.

Roli - how are you buddy? Called my GP this morning, told her about the plans. She called crisis who sent 2 people over...... I guess its delayed the plan for a few days at least.

Freakangel - how you doing?

Katie, grace, diagnonsence, hang in there

[getting_by]

Lauren- No honey. It really wouldn't. I took an OD in Oct. It nearly killed me. Resuscitation. Ventilator. Intensive care. The lot. It doesn't cause people to help you any more hun. They lock you up until they think you wont kill yourself imminently and then things go back to how they were before. What works better is being honest with people and asking for help.
You said yourself that you arn't involved with MH services. Now is the time to change that. ODing is the fastest way to a section I can think of and it sounds like you want to avoid that.
Hugs xx

muchlove- (I think I have either missed your real name, forgotten it or you havent given it :P) I am, not sure how I am lol. But thanks for asking. I knwo I am fighting SH urges like anything right now. But winning HA!
Glad it delayed things.Were they helpful at all? WAs your GP nice? Hug xx

[Heaven Knows]

Lauren - I agree with Roli - I ODed in December and it's made very little difference now. It's not the answer.

muchlove - I'm glad you called your GP.

My strength is faltering. I can't do this.
x Katie x

[muchlove]

I've actually never given my real name.... It's Danica, but you can all call me Dan. Much easier to remember.

Well done on fighting the urges. Go You!!
My GP was ok, think she's giving up though, doesn't know what else to do for me. It's ok cos I've given up already. :(

[getting_by]

Katie *Sends a little box of strength* Its not much honey, but you are welcome to it. I know you can do this honey. I just know it. *Squishes*
Makes me sad when you say you OD'd :( makes me frown everytime i hear it. Your too nice to hurt yourself. x

[getting_by]

Danica- Thats a nice name. Thank you for sharing it, I always hate calling people by their screen names whilst trying to support them. *Cuddles*
I'm glad your GP listened to you, I'm sure she isn't giving up on you. I know its hard hun, but please dont give up. There is so much left out there for you to find. I'm sure of it. There is for all of us. Its just going to take some fighting to get there.

Thank you- I have ben fighting them mainly so I dont have to admit to my DBT therapist that I fall at the first hurdle. At least now, if (more like when) I fail and harm- I can first say I spent (or wasted?!) two days trying to beat the urges. However, I do have a very pretty colourful arm to show for it! x

[Heaven Knows]

Roli - *squishes* Thank you...but you need all your strength. Sorry it makes you frown but I really am not that nice =/
You're doing well fighting the urges honey. Even if it's only the DBT thing keeping you fighting cling on to it. Anything to get us through right?

[getting_by]

*Nods* Yes honey, cling to anything. Thats the key aim of the day. Today. Of tomorrow. *Cuddles* I think your 'that' nice and thats all that maters to me. *Nods and folds arms* x

[muchlove]

Roli - That's really good. Well done. Even if you are doing it for your therapist, your doing it for yourself too so well done on fighting.
Katie - strength is a hard thing. The most amazing people are those who keep fighting when they have no strength left at all. You are one of those people.
You all are!!
Lauren - I know that horrible feeling when you don't feel listened to. Please hold on.

[getting_by]

Danica- I hope you are listening to your own words sweetie- You are also one of those people xx

[muchlove]

Unfortunately Roli, advice is easier to give than take. :( I'm a hypocrite, I know.

[getting_by]

This is what I have achieved this evening- I know its not much, at least its something right. I want you all to think of one thing, however little you have achieved today. Getting up is one I can name for you all.

Heck- I want to be creative. I want people to be distracted by me. Maybe you guys will find me annoying. If thats the case, great. At least you wont completely ignore me. Just maybe I might keep you hanging on for one more second. That is enough for me.

*Please note: Trigger warning: The picture is of my arm, yes, so therefore there are scars there if you look closely enough*


But I am hoping you won't notice any
although there may be many
I hope you look instead to the mess I have made
without the use of a blade
without resorting to self harm
as an escape from the future that is written on my palm
I chose tonight to use art as my craft
but no doubt before long, I will just go back
to the same old destructive way
that I use to make each day
easier to bear
but today all i care
is that I managed to fight and win that fight
so it is for this reason that I will remember this night
the night I won a small victory
against the output of my mental slavery

[muchlove]

Wow Roli, that's some serious art you have going on there. If it works for you, that's brilliant. :)

[out of ashes]

squishes everyone. roli, that is really cool and amazing

[getting_by]

muchlove and out of ashes- I thank you very much. I appreciate your support. It does work for me to a certain extent.

Danica- How's that fighting going hun? What are your next steps to try to feel less desperate? Did crisis suggest anything. x

out of ashes- Do you know what has caused you to feel like this tonight hun? You spoken to anyone about it? x


Guys- the words for tonight are positive thinking.
I know this may seem impossible right now, but its essential to try to think of things that you can do or steps you can take so that you don't feel as desperate. It is up to us to make those moves. We must really seek out how we can change things for the better. So that tomorrow is more bearable than today. Dont be afraid to admit how you are feeling to someone. Its the best thing you can do. Only then can they give you the support you deserve and need. x

[freakangel]

Roli about the only thing keeping me strong at thus point and not hurting myself is my husband. I have no other reason then just not wanting to hurt him. Hopefully at some point I can come up with a better reason not to injure or attempt suicide but until then this one will have to do.
Muchlove, I'm surviving that's about all I can focus on at this point but hey, I'm here right? How are you?

[muchlove]

Roli, I agree with you about the thread and what you responded to it.
Fighting isn't going that well. Crisis didn't really have much to suggest. We just talked about why I don't want to call them and how I feel unsupported at the moment etc so I guess that's kind of a positive.

[getting_by]

Michelle- Thats enough hun. Anything that we can hold onto is enough. Its all we need. Hold on to it tightly hun. Reasons will increase, even without you realising. Try to be positive x

Danica- Firstly, thanks. I always hate replying to things like that but it caught me at bad point. I guess we all try so hard in here to support each other through difficult times and some people just don't 'get it' but thats ok, just dont go slating something just because you haven't found it helpful or whatever.
Well it is good at least that you spoke to them. They know what is going on. Its a start. I'm very glad you could speak about how you felt unsuported, I hope they take it on board and actually change the way they deal with you and support you. That is positive :)
Keep positive hun. Stay safe. x

I think I better go to bed, my urge surfing/ fighting is slowly loosing momentum. Night all. Stay safe and please seek help if you need to xx

[muchlove]

Night Roli xx

[Mum24]

Miss you guys