In what sense? Whats making you feel so trapped? I imagine it is quite an overwhelming and suffocating feeling and it sounds like you feel hopeless too when you say 'with no way out'. Sorry if im not interpreting what you have said correctly.
Could you share some more? *hugs*
sticks and stones may break your bones but words can tear your heart out.
Its just where do i go from here? yeah i might have got better from my bpd but everything some shoved at a standstill, little medication and nothing else, just get left to it. Everyone does the whole oh yeah your so much better now etc, but ive been stuck in the same rut for a long time with nothing to get out of it.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
I dont get support from the mh services, they decided long ago there was nothing they could do for me after deciding to take me off medication as i apparently didn't need it.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
Oh, ok. Do you feel you could benifit from a specific type of support? Maybe you could be straight talking with them and tell them what you feel you need....if you feel you do need something.
sticks and stones may break your bones but words can tear your heart out.
That must be difficult Mari, I don't think I would want to keep trying either. Sometimes persistance does work though, however I can appreciate that it is both time consuming and really difficult confidence wise. Is there anyone who can do it for you? An advocate perhaps?
I watched a girl on youtube describe how she feels with BPD and I could relate to everything she posted. Thing is I dont know how I go about being diagnosed.
Auragrace- I am in the process of being diagnosed with it, I only found out on wednesday that I could have it, I went to my GP about feeling really low and she passed me onto my local CMHT, could you maybe go down that route just mentioning it to your GP?
I found out about me having BPD by accident when I was in a therapeutic community and I put in a formal request to see my notes. And there it was in black and white. Lydia has BPD. I questioned the staff and got a verbal confirmation/diagnosis from my psychiatrist.
I wasn't upset, angry, scared or worried. To me it was no different to my other diagnosis which are anorexia, self harm, suicidal ideation, clinical depression and bi-polar disorder (apparantly the last two don't clash and cancel each other out)
My only problem was with my therapist dad who didn't belive in BPD and thought that it was a diagnosis given to people when psychiatrists couldn't think of anything else to describe their patient's particular emotions with. I felt invalidated, angry coz I thought he should have known better with his job an all.
I'll shut up now. Feeling rocky and I talk too much when I'm feeling rocky.
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
Auragrce, no offense as i say this to everyone who comes in thinking they have bpd, you CANNOT self diagnose, they only people that can diagnose you is your doctor and mental health professionals. If i look at other conditions heck id have about 10 other disorders and other various illnesses i don't have.
Maybe stop watching people on youtube talk about a condition you probably dont even have?
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
I think Mari was specifically talking about situations akin to Auragrace's where a person has seen something online and thought that they must have that condition.
Auragrace, everyone has traits of BPD. That does not mean they have the disorder, when it has become a strong constellation of symptoms, patterns of thinking and behaviours is often when the diagnosis is considered by a professional. Do not seek to be diagnosed with a specific illness. Often you will get it wrong and confuse the professionals who you come into contact by trying to do their job for them.
If you are concerned about your mental health in general, bring up how you feel with a GP, but don't try and label your symptoms in terms of the criteria for BPD, explain it as you felt it before you confused the situation by watching these youtube vidoes.
On the subject I was informed of my Dx by my CPN after seeing the team consultant. It was odd cos I was in a general hospital at the time they passed on the message and because she told me on the phone I never really got any information or support. Just 'we have come up with a diagnosis for you' and it was like 'here you go'.. >.>
