I have read stuff on psychotherapy before btw if that really bothers you so much. Found it full of psychobabble crap and could not see how it could get someone better although no doubt it does.
Doesn't 'bother' me either way at all :)
Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do you want?
I have read stuff on psychotherapy before btw if that really bothers you so much. Found it full of psychobabble crap and could not see how it could get someone better although no doubt it does.
Then it's not 'crap' is it? it's something you don't understand properly.
I find it crap for me. I know people have found it useful. However, I am concerned that some people are too reliant on and are in therapy for many years. That was the point of the thread. Not for people to pick on me or others.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
I don't see what the issue is though. If someone finds putting lemons in their socks in the morning helps their concentration at work, why is it an issue if it works? If someone is reliant on therapy and it is not helping then I agree it's not a good thing. But if they go every week or month and it actually helps them.... Fine. It wouldn't help you, fair enough, you can find your own thing, which wouldn't work for another and so forth.
Maybe the things that damaged their psyche/mind went on for many years and started very early and caused a lot of damage that needs careful, patient and compassionate attention. And then maybe they had things happen in their lives during the course of therapy that were very difficult and needed help. And maybe they made a healthy choice and commitment to deal thoroughly with what causes them distress. Maybe they have a lot of painful dependency, attachment and avoidance issues to work with in a safe, boundaried relationship. That is their choice, and if it isn't perfect, that's something they need to face, and probably are - it's not something anyone, not even you, need to try and fix.
We are adults, we can make responsible choices and decisions about our own lives and needs.
My concern is that people are investing so much time and becoming reliant on a therapist without it really being of benefit and in some circumstances it can be damaging.
Can someone explain the dig about my signature?
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
I CBA going to find the quote you made coz im on an iPad and I can't work it prop. But you said something about not having faith in things that they don't believe in and so forth or something of that sort andir was just amusing that you have a bible quote which is basically the same thing, faith in something that can't be proven.
Anyway.
Yes, if damaging I agree it's not good. But if it helps, which is does most of the time, it's not a problem. It makes jobs, gives families money, helps people who are Ill. Yeah. I had another point but I forget.
What will reading those show people? I can't imagine I and others want to clutter our own interests and reading lists with something in which we hold little faith.
When I was studying to be a councellor, some weekends, like on Freud, were fascinating to me and my friend. As for the DBT/CBT weekend, I went into a trance for the weekend and my friend fell asleep during one of the lectures it was that boring!! I had to wake her up!
We all like different things, it doesen't necessarily mean they are right or wrong.
And believe you me, that course was several grand. You wouldn't drop off to sleep unless you were bored brainless. The woman opposite thought DBT/CBT was second to god.
Then again it could have been the dreary tutor
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
We had endless handouts as we all had to alternate leading seminars. And Experiential Training Groups [aka group therapy for trainee therapists] - like RYL on a tough day every week only you're assessed. :P
My concern is that people are investing so much time and becoming reliant on a therapist without it really being of benefit and in some circumstances it can be damaging.
Can someone explain the dig about my signature?
That's quite a vague comment IMO that could be applied to any regular medical treatment. What's the issue with investing time? Anything that's worthwhile takes substantial time, and yes sometimes it won't be beneficial and might even be damaging but can't you credit the client with enough awareness to know if it's helping or not?
I said in another post, that, even if the psychotherapist isn't helping the client in the way they intend to; a friendly listening ear can do the world of good as an oasis within the perhaps cruelty or trauma they are facing in the rest of their life. [Words to the effect.]
Do you have enough understanding of psychotherapy to know in certain terms why you think it can be damaging?
I can't help thinking you just want some kind of justification in general for thinking that it's crap because you don't like the idea of it. Like there's no real substance to your opinions.
Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do you want?
I also feel that Carrie is perhaps petrified of what she might open up in her own therapy, and it maybe feels 'safe' to her to kind of 'trash' therapy in general as a protection against that terror.
That's my experienced perspective. Take it or leave it. I don't charge for it. :)
therapy doesn't automatically equate to reliance. I have been in therapy for several years now, and I have changed therapists twice because I moved countries. Both have come into my life when life was extremely scary and frightening. Both these women have taught me many life lessons that I am very grateful for, they offered a different sense of connection and safety that I had never experienced before. Going to therapy is a statement to myself that I care about me, and that I matter and have the right to learn how to live life without pain and fear. It took me a long time to jive with the therapy thing but eventually it clicked and allowed me to keep myself balanced. I go to think things through, to reframe and brainstorm ways of handling situations - things I don't have the ability to do with friends in my life (I do to some degree but). I have experienced a lot of trauma in my life and I don't think it's a bad thing that I am seeking out support for that?
I think that reliance can occur definitely and that people can become overly reliant on therapy, or just professional support and find it difficult to live a life without thinking about how it will affect their therapeutic relationship. This is when there develops a problem, when transference is engrained in the very nature of the work. Now saying that I know there are some schools of thought that believe otherwise. But in general when there is a dependency it should be the therapist's role to identify and work through it with the individual and terminate the relationship if necessary. I think if anything there needs to be balance real life and therapy, my previous therapist used to say therapy isn't real life get out there and experience reality - and I think that is absolutely true that therapy is a safe bubble that allows one to work through things and continue on, well at least for me that is what it is.
Lastly, as a practitioner in the therapy field I think there are definitely good and bad therapist/counsellors out there and definitely the "fix others to fix myself" folk but there are lots of hard working, genuine individuals in the field that are doing a job that's it, yes they care and have compassion but it is their career and they don't have the saviour complex. I know for myself as a professional that I have worked with people that needed to be transitioned to a new therapist because the work that we needed to complete was accomplished however there was some lasting connection that needed to be acknowledged and moved through. It's a reality that people become somewhat connected to the person they tell their deepest darkest secrets too, but a good professional will recognise that and work with the individual to not attach overly.
Lastly, sorry I am rambling]! I remember years ago in about 2005/06 when RYL was quite bubbling with people and at that time not many of us were really using professional supports and there was definitely a push for people to get support for themselves because there was a need for that. Years on I have noticed a change in the forums here in general, but specifically that people are seeking professional support more readily, I also have noticed that a lot more people are studying/pursuing the field of human services. I also think that the responses that you get nowadays here are a lot more therapeutic than they once were, and I wonder sometimes how helpful that is when people ask big questions about feelings/emotions but aren't necessarily there to support the person in the process of answering it...but alas I shall leave it there.
Last edited by finding_reason : 27-12-2011 at 11:05 PM.
life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself.
As I mentioned in the other thread, some people actually need to learn how it feels to rely on someone, experience it and use it to grow and develop - where that stage of maturation never happened when it should in childhood. It's not a state of mind one is in forever, though people may see that and not look beyond it when making a snap judgement of someone's process.
Katie, I think a good therapeutic alliance means a solid connection that can transcend a whole array of learning and allow for the individual to wax and wan without judgement and is attuned to the needs of the individual as they change.
I think there are people out there that are overly reliant on their professional supports in that they are unable to make decisions themselves and are not able to handle their feelings/emotions without consultation with their therapist. And I think the flipside of that is that a therapist would then indulge the individual by making those decisions for them, and being there at their beckon call when they feel discomfort. Therapy is any modalities primarily exists to allow for a person to discover teachings within themselves and to come to understand how they do what and why they do things. Not powering over someone, dictating what one should be doing.
life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself.
You see, my therapist refuses to tell me what I should do, etc, and keeps very clear boundaries. At the moment a lot of the work is to learn to start to trust myself more, which is a real challenge and quite a delicate balance, with my sometimes skewy sense of reality. But I'm learning it. It's like going to school but to understand myself and know how I 'work' in different situations and how to regulate intense feelings safely.
