Hi all - didn't post for a bit, so apologies to those who may have been worried.
Not got much to say at the moment but I hope you are all safe.
I am trying to be a brave girl at the moment but its so hard and its wearing me down so much.
Took the rather bold step of calling my dance teacher last night to let her know how I was feeling. Though we've talked before I always feel guilty about taking up her time and have held back from letting her know precisely how bad I've been feeling for this reason or even ringing her at all for this reason.
She was marvellous, she said I could call her any time things got too much and she would be there to listen. Said a lot of nice stuff that made me feel like I should hold on but I don't know how long I can keep that up. And I'm worried she's going to think I'm asking too much of her...
Borderlinejivequeen glad you've got someone supportive in your life. I think you should just take it for what it is and not feel guilty. She obviously cares. :) yay. I hope you can get to feeling better soon. How have things been going?
Hello all, just wanted to jump into this thread to say all you people are amazing and awesome for coming here to try and get help for whatever might be wrong...
Bigmike - that's really nice of you :) You're awesome. You always make me smile with your random threads.
Roli - I did. I told him. Kinda freaking out about it. Didn't tell him about the details but in general. He's gonna talk to my DBT therapist and psychiatrist about it. Gah. I feel a little better having told someone...but worse in some ways. How're you doing today?
Katie- You are amazing. An inspiration. I am so proud of you for telling him. It must have been so so hard. It will be better in the long run, I promise. They will be able to give you the support you really need.
Massive supporting, gentle hugs xx
Here's the day you hoped would never come,
Don't feed me violins, just run with me
through rows of speeding cars.
21 on the run, on the run, on the run
From myself, from myself and everyone
I better leave the light on
The darkness, The sweetness, The sadness, The weakness,
O, I need this
Hi, I'm Roli Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
Hugs tightly, You are sweetie. Your amazingly strong and I know you can get through this.
Whats going on in your head sweetie. Talk to me.
Please call someone if you need to honey. Reach out. Please xx
Here's the day you hoped would never come,
Don't feed me violins, just run with me
through rows of speeding cars.
21 on the run, on the run, on the run
From myself, from myself and everyone
I better leave the light on
The darkness, The sweetness, The sadness, The weakness,
O, I need this
Hi, I'm Roli Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
I can't do it. Everything's falling apart. It's all going wrong and I don't know how to stop it all anymore. People are dying and it's my fault. People are dead and it's my fault. They're all going to think he's evil when really it's me. I caused all of it. I don't know how to fix any of this for anyone anymore.
Darling, shhh *holds Katie tightly* Its not your fault sweetie, how is it your fault? Whats going on honey? Who's dying, who's dead? You can do it honey.
Keep talking to me, I'm right here xx
Here's the day you hoped would never come,
Don't feed me violins, just run with me
through rows of speeding cars.
21 on the run, on the run, on the run
From myself, from myself and everyone
I better leave the light on
The darkness, The sweetness, The sadness, The weakness,
O, I need this
Hi, I'm Roli Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
*holds tightly*
All their deaths are my fault. I should have stopped them all. Him hurting me was my fault. I cause all this hurt and pain. I ruin lives. I can't carry on like this.
Honey- I'm sorry for the slow reply. I was replying to your thread. I have said most of it there. I am here for you honey. I really am. Your not alone in this. *holds Katie tightly*
Here's the day you hoped would never come,
Don't feed me violins, just run with me
through rows of speeding cars.
21 on the run, on the run, on the run
From myself, from myself and everyone
I better leave the light on
The darkness, The sweetness, The sadness, The weakness,
O, I need this
Hi, I'm Roli Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything