I have a skin condition that causes the skin on my arms to be very dry and I have lots of little pimply bumps. It's very common, called keratosis pilaris. Recently, I have been a bit stressed/down, and have started compulsively picking at the bumps on my forearm.
So I was at the doctor today for something completely unrelated to SH or MH. While I was there, I wanted to bring this skin picking thing up to see if there was anything she could suggest. I literally fretted over it ALL DAY, not knowing what to say or how to bring it up. When I did, she said I had it particularly bad, and my skin was very dry, but I said that actually in my opinion the problem I am having is psychological - I have had these bumps most of my life and have never bothered to do anything about it, but the skin picking has left my arm red and scabby and I am sick of it. On her computer screen in big letters, I could see the words 'deliberate self-harm', which is in my medical history from when my parents took me to the doctors about SH 12 years ago. Despite this, she basically totally brushed off my concerns and said oh no, it's because your skin is very dry blah blah and prescribed me some moisturiser and steroid cream ( ). She couldn't seem to understand that the skin condition itself is not a massive issue for me, it's the stress-related skin picking that I wanted to sort out.
I feel bad complaining about this because she was really very nice, but I just felt so small, like my opinion and concerns meant nothing.
Anyway, I have to go for blood tests next week (scars - ), and then back to see the same doctor again in two weeks' time for the results. I don't know whether to bring it up again and try to be more clear in what I was trying to get across today, or whether to just leave it. I would also like to bring up the fact that I'm still cutting - try to get it sorted once and for all - but that might have to wait for another day (or year).
Sorry I've said this in a very roundabout way. I didn't mean it to be so long!
Anyone have any views/advice? Any suggestions would be much appreciated.
The doctors that you are seeing...what are their specialties? If they're regular physicians, they might not have the training to deal with psychological concerns. At least, that's been the case with the doctors I've seen. They have some, but not enough to really make a diagnosis or help you with treatment. You might want to look into seeing a psychiatrist or a psychologist to help you with the psychological aspects.
Hi there.
Sorry she didn't seem to take you seriously today.
Could you maybe write what you want to explain to her; it might be easier to convey that you're more concerned with the stress behind the problem rather than the physical problem itself?
Take care,
x Katie x
DarkPhoenix - Thanks for your thoughts. She is my General Practitioner (family doctor). She should have some training in psychological matters, and I'm certain she sees patients with MH problems all the time. I see what you're saying, and wasn't expecting her to 'fix' me, but thought she might at least consider my view that the problem I have is more psychological than anything else. I think actually I'm mostly annoyed with myself for not pushing the point and getting it across more efficiently.
INON - Thanks. Yeah, I might write it down. I would just feel like such a plank pulling out a bit of paper in her office and giving it to her/reading it to her! Might just do bullet points to prompt myself to cover the main points I want to make. I think also if I bring up the SH it might put the skin-picking problem more into context, so may have to take a deep breath and just go for it. The other thing that I didn't tell her at the time is that when I say picking, I don't mean idly/subconsciously picking at it, I mean deliberate and methodical with tweezers. Perhaps mentioning that would have a bearing on her understanding of it. It's just a bit embarrassing! Such a stupid and weird thing to do.
I know what you mean about feeling silly giving them a letter - I did when I did that for my GP - but I simply explained that I can't properly talk about things like this and I think it'd be better understood if he reads this - then handed him the letter.
I do think you should mention how you do it - with the tweezers - because like you said it'd make her understand the context a little better.
Take care, and let us know how you get on.
x Katie x
So I had the appointment with the GP, and wanted to update the kind people who replied in the first place/vent a little bit.
I went for the blood test last week, which was fine. There were two nurses doing it (I think one was a trainee), and as my scars are mostly on my left arm, it was obvious I SH, but they didn't say anything, they were just really nice (i.e. "take care of yourself" etc) so that was all ok.
Today, I went back to the GP for the results, and the whole thing was a total disaster. The surgery has a fancypants touch screen for you to check in on, so I did that (screen confirmed that I had been checked in) and took a seat. I sat there for ages and ages and ages, and all these people who came after me were seen before me, and I thought maybe it was my punishment for checking in like one minute late - as in I'd have to wait for the next available slot - so I didn't say anything until I'd been there for nearly 40 minutes, I went and asked at reception and apparently the touchscreen computer hadn't checked me in. Needless to say, I was pretty pissed off as by then I was really late for work, but I didn't say anything. The receptionist said she'd tell the doctor I was here, and I heard her on the phone saying "she says she checked in..."
Anyway, I eventually went in to the consulting room and she said "so how can I help you?". I know the doctors see tons of patients every day, but come on! She had my medical notes right in front of her!
After talking about the results of the blood test, I reminded her that she'd given me some cream for the skin on my arms, and said I thought it had done a bit of good. But having had her not even remember why I was there I just couldn't bring myself to go into any more detail about the skin picking.
As for other SH (cutting), three years ago, I went to the GP where I was living at the time, hoping to get it sorted once and for all. She wanted to refer me which I wasn't too keen on, but agreed. She said it would take up to 8 weeks for a psych appointment. I waited and nothing came, so I phoned up the surgery, who said I'd have to phone the hospital. I phoned up the hospital who said they'd had no referral. I phoned up the GP surgery again, and they said they'd sort it out, but never heard back from them. I didn't have the energy to chase it up any more than that, and about 10 months later I moved away.
So I brought up SH today because it was on the screen in front of her and I asked her to check whether my notes said there'd been any follow up when I went to the doctor 3 years ago about it because nothing had ever been done, and she did check and apparently it didn't say anything about it. Fine, but that was the end of the conversation - no "are you still doing it?"/"do you still want/need a referral?"/"how are you doing now?". Nothing.
I just left feeling so sh*tty, like none of this stuff will ever be sorted out, like in 20 years from now, I'll still be cutting myself, still totally miserable. I desperately wanted to go home and crawl into bed, but unfortunately was already more than an hour late for work :S I don't even feel like I can go back because it feels like I've had my chance and that's it. She clearly wasn't even the least bit interested in discussing it.
Just like last time, she was pefectly nice and polite. As I left, she said "take care, God bless" (as I'm an atheist, that felt a little unnecessary ;) - but I know she meant well), I'm just really pissed off with the surgery, her, and most of all myself for not pushing the issue.
Anyway, thanks to anyone who made it the whole way through my little rant. It feels a little better to have got it off my chest.
Hi, Um can't say much to this but. I have the exact same skin condition. I know the Feeling of picking , but it's like you have no control over it. Can't really say much else except Loves and hugs! Thanks for your post you let me know at least I'm not alone on this one.
). She couldn't seem to understand that the skin condition itself is not a massive issue for me, it's the stress-related skin picking that I wanted to sort out.
), and then back to see the same doctor again in two weeks' time for the results. I don't know whether to bring it up again and try to be more clear in what I was trying to get across today, or whether to just leave it. I would also like to bring up the fact that I'm still cutting - try to get it sorted once and for all - but that might have to wait for another day (or year).
