Don't really know whether I'm writing this to get it out?

[Lost But Never Found 15]

Maybe triggering?


Well, urgh! I'm beyond annoyed at the moment, my friend 'self harms', ever since she found out I did, but the thing is, she shows it off! You cuts her wrists and then walks around obviously trying to show them off! She's meant to be a really close friend of mine! And she knows how much it's all effected me! Yet she rubs it in my face! I'm doing amazingly and havent self harmed in 4months and she knows that me seeing other people, showing their fresh cuts, triggers me like crazy! :@ <angry face:'). And once, she physically made me show her my cuts whilst I was still doing it, and this was when it was really bad, she said 'show me other wise I'm going to tell everyone' which was bang out of order and I see that now, she knew I was in the most vunerable state and she used that to her advantage, to get what she wanted, so now when she does it, it seems like she's doing it worse to kind of beat what ever I did! Which pisses me off! (sorry!) she knows full well how bad I still feel! And she does it then shows it off and pretends shes upset about it, but walks around, not trying to make an effort to cover them up!:@:@:@:@< angry faces again! :P
I honestly thought I'd feel better after 4months, but I feel worse, seeing knife's when I'm cooking. I think 'I could so easily pretend it wasn't my fault, that I slipped and cut my self', the other night I had a horrid nightmare of me self harming after all this time and I had this image in my head of what it looked like after I'd done it, and I'm not even taking the Mick, every time I close my eyes I see that image!:( :(. I honestly can say I feel worse, is it normal? :/ help? Xxxx

[Cacoethes]

hey hun

do you have a professional you could talk to about these images? that must be horrible :(
have you tried talking to your friend, this used to happen when i first started self harming, and it was really upsetting.

you have done so so well to go for 4 months without SH.
*hugs*

sorry im a bit short on the advice front right now.
xxx

[RhapsodyInBlue]

I'm sorry you're going through this, I would be so upset if I was in this situation.

I think you have to talk to your friend. And really, if she doesn't understand where you're coming from is she really a friend? I would suggest distancing yourself from her. Although having a chat with her seems like the first step.

good luck! x

[katexxii]

I feel awful for you but remember the great progress you've made and keep trucking!!!!! It does get easier I promise :).
I may be backing myself into a corner a bit here but it seems to me the 'emo culture' has romanticised things like cutting, it seems a good way to get attention and oddly enough fit in. I had a friend who 'self-harmed' because a group of people she was bent on getting in with (and in particular a boy she liked) were all into that sort of stuff so she was trying to get into him by saying she did it too. It's disgusting. Self harming is a very sensitive topic and for her to say she'd tell anyone, especially as a threat, is such a horrible, ugly thing! The sight of a friend's self inflicted injuries should be shocking and appalling to a true friend not something you want to see but she's obviously morbidly interested. She doesn't sound like much of a friend at all to me :S
On the flip side she could be going through some serious issues of her own and this is how it's expressed. When she cuts she may feel it deep inside and showing them off is her (showy and annoying) cry for help so if you do talk with her remember to be sensitive to her feelings even if she may not have given you the same kindness. But as I said she may just be an immature person who doesn't really understand the severity of it and is caught up in a craze.