Thanks kat, I'll post another chapter up for everyone to read. I'm not particuarly in love with this chapter, but for now it'll do. As I'm writing more the chapters get longer and more in depth so please bear with me for the next couple of chapters.
Chapter 4
As I sit in the room facing the nurses’ station in the Emergency Department my mind begins to wander but I’m once again rushed back to the present day as one of the nurses steps pass me to do Nicole’s ob’s. I quickly put my hand out “I’ll do it, she’s a tad touchy about strangers, if you need to watch that’s fine but I’ll do it” I jump quickly to her aid.
“That’s fine my name’s Isobel by the way. Hey what’s that on your arm?” My long sleeve had slipped up my arm as I had begun to do Nicole’s blood pressure. “It’s a scar, from when I was a teen” I replied quietly. “Oh okay” she answered and dropped the subject.
Later that day Zoey the 2IC (Second In Charge) of the nursing unit walks in and greets me with a friendly nod and asks “How’s she doing?” in a quiet voice. “She’s sleeping now, but her ob’s have been up and down, mainly her blood pressure has been low due to the loss of blood, but that’s to be expected. But other than that, physically she is fine. Emotionally and mentally on the other hand is a different story. She’s blocking everyone out bar myself and even with me she has a wall up, the first time they tried to do her observations she completely freaked at the nurses touch and I’ve had to do them ever since. I don’t mind it’s not an issue for me, but she’s freaked out by something and I won’t always be there to monitor her I do have to go home in a couple of hours if you know what I mean. But she won’t speak, she won’t even acknowledge us. I don’t know what the hospital can do for her.” I finish sighing. Zoey grabs my arm and pulls me aside “She’s back on Red Observations when we get her back onto the ward, but she’s not to know until we get her back to Windsor; just keep an eye on her until Louisa comes in for her this afternoon, please.” She whispers as Isobel walks up and announces “She’s waking; I think you’ll want to be there to avoid another incident” and walks away into Nicole’s curtained room.
As I walk into her room I see her in a state of array and trying to jump of her bed.
“Hey, hey, hey, what’s happening here love? You’re okay, you’re in hospital remember?” I quickly say as I place my hands gently on her arms to settle her. Nicole nods in submission and begins to settle, but still remaining tense and breathing harshly. So I quickly grab the nose prongs and put them gently in to help her breathe easier and absorb more oxygen into her lungs. She begins to breathe easier and quietly yawns as the other nurses begin to back out of the curtains. As I sit back down Nicole gently tugs on my shirt and asks “How bad was it?” I whisper back to keep the mood stable “Don’t worry about it hun, you’re okay now. Sleep and I’ll wake you before change of nurse okay, I’ll be back tomorrow in the morning to check on you before I start my shift at Windsor.” Nicole nods quietly and sticks out her pinky “Promise?” I stick mine out and state “Cross my heart and hope to die, now sleep love.” and her eyes close once again as I sit back in the chair and finish reading.
“Never lose faith in yourself,
and never lose hope;
remember, even when this world throws its worst and then turns its back,
there is still always hope.”
Haha okay, seeing as people are liking it I'll post the next chapter :D
Enjoy and feedback :)
Also it's double/triple the size of most other chapters and this is about the length if not more that I'm writing at right now, sorry!
Chapter 5
“Yeah and you should dye your hair bright pink, pssh I’m not getting a tattoo” I exclaim as Nicole continues to giggle, the few hours of sleep she got seem to have done her a world of good and she is once again back to her usual bubbly self, which I know is only a façade, but she needs some cheering up right now, even if its temporary.
“Awh come on May! You’re a nurse! You should be used to needles” Nicole whines as she mimics the stabbing of a needle with the pencil in her hand.
“Nuh uh, not going to happen girly, I can give ‘em but don’t even think of bringing them near me” I giggle.
“Awh, come on Nicole you know she’s a wuss, I’ll show you mine later on if you want” Smiles Dakota as she walks towards the Ob’s chart on the end of Nicole’s bed and takes note “You seem to be on the mend dear, soon we’ll have you out of here and back up to Windsor, won’t you enjoy not being strapped to a hospital bed?” Dakota smiles as she puts down the chart again.
“So you’re the mysterious replacement then? Was starting to think I was being forgotten about” I smirk “Guess it’s time for me to go then deary’s I shan’t keep Will waiting much longer, she’s probably already ready to kick me.” I get up and put the magazine I’d been reading back on Nicoles’ nightstand and say a quick “catch ‘ya later skaters” as I head out the door towards the Entry of the ED.
Willow is my everything; she’s my knight in shining armor and my little piece of heaven in this world full of chaos. She’s slightly taller than me at 5’11 and has shaggy brown hair with brown eyes that provide a mysterious side to her. As I approach the car I see her strumming the wheel immersed in the song that’s currently playing as I slide into the passenger’s seat I realize why; “All Summer Long – Kid Rock” is playing, she just can’t seem to get over the obsession with that song. I giggle as I give her a peck on the cheek while she starts up the car “You only just realized that I got in when I closed the door didn’t you?”
She smiles back at me and laughs “yeah sorry about that”
“Mind going back to Windsor? I don’t have any of your gear with me sorry” I say frowning slightly. Willow just laughs and motions to look in the back of the car towards my bag and jumper. I hadn’t even seen that before. I laugh again as I reach for my bag “I must be having a crunchy moment again.”
“Again? Aren’t you always that way?” She chuckles to herself again as we pull into the driveway “you need to start paying attention outside of work as well as in work I think”.
The house we live in isn’t huge, nor is it small. But its home and as long as its home I’ll feel comfortable and safe. It’s only a 2 bedroom cottage, which provides warmth and a good relaxant after a long day at work. We sometimes struggle with money, what with my nurses pay and the money from her waitress shifts at a local café, we barely get to live in luxury but I’m okay with that, as long I’ve got Willow, we can do anything. Walking through the door I smell the sweet scent of vanilla wafting through the house and as curiosity gets the best of me and I rush forward into the kitchen to see some biscuits the kettle boiling and one of my vanilla candles burning in the centre of the table. “Ooh someone’s been stealing recipes from the café again have they?” I giggle as I bite down into the still warm biscuit I nod in agreement to the taste “definitely something added that the restaurant doesn’t add to theirs may I be picking up on some extra honey?” I question tentively, cooking is my other passion, and whether it is for us two or a bunch of friends my dishes always have an element of surprise to them. But for willow to be cooking; No something has to be up, she must either want something (or someone I giggle internally) or she’s found another (better) job which we had been searching for, for her for months.
“Nope, little bit off, but you’re on the right track it was a sweetener, like honey, but it was golden syrup” She smiles, barely able to control her bounciness. ‘Definitely the job; yep.’ I think to myself.
“So you know how we’ve been searching for a job since graduating? You know how much the government wants to pay for social work jobs down here too, jack all and they don’t want to assign new positions. Well word is and I have this on fairly sure grounds that Sinclair is retiring and that a new younger (she points at herself) applicant will be placed in that position. Of course they have to be local too, they have to already have to have a sense of the community and the groups and issues it has, it just can’t be any newbie to the area. So not to be pig-headed but whom else would they choose but me?” She smiles at the last thought; it was true there are no other budding young Social workers in the community, it just depended upon the time frame in when Sinclair was resigning within. But I didn’t care, I was just as happy as she was about the new revelations and squealed in delight and that set the sparks flying.
Willow was immediately by my side, passionately embraced to my side and crying, sobbing; I needed to calm her down “Hey shhh... Hun, look its okay, it’s understandable to be upset we’ve been through so much these past four years, but you are going to do this YOU my dear are going to get not just this job and the career and RESPECT that comes along with baby. You deserve it.” I cuddle her gently into my arms more secure as we walk towards the couch in the opposite living room.
By now you will have guessed or gathered that I am Lesbian, Gay and/or homosexual, but don’t let this fool you into saying that that’s why I’m in my field of work, I did not become a nurse because I was so often at the hands of them as a child because of my constant mental health problems as a teen. I knew from a little girl that I wanted to be a nurse and my mother will vouch in saying that I’ve had the same elementary goal since the age of five, I want to help people, and it was and is still my first instinct. But how does Willow fit into my story? She’s two years my senior and we met at University, me studying my bachelor of nursing Willow doing her own in social work. We lived right down the hall from each other, and one night got introduced, I was an out and about lesbian having casual ‘flings’ every now and again but never more than a couple of weeks because we’d end up fighting about interests or something stupid like politics and things just wouldn’t last. But when I met Willow I knew she was different and we immediately hit it off, knowing each other’s majors sometimes came in handy and within three months we’d moved in together on Campus (I always thought same sex relationships had a positive to them) often you’d find both of us studying in the Library or in our room providing a running commentary on the other’s essay. Things moved slowly and she brought me down to ground level enough to stop partying every weekend and every free minute I had was spent on my degree, studying, finishing assessments and spending time with Willow. As a kid I was brought up in an environment where you got to choose your own beliefs and religions and my parents were always very open about sexual encounters and things of that nature. So entering into my teens I naturally started to ‘test the waters’ with my relationships in both good and bad ways. Long story short by the age of fourteen I knew who I was but my heavy Christian beliefs I’d formed growing up began to suffocate me and lead me into hating what I had become. This was the beginning of my mental health issues.
i like what i read so far.
intresting POV.
especially seeing as there seem to be quite a few people here who have experienced mental health problemsand now are training to be/ want to be mental health nurses or psychs.
Haha okay, here's the next two chapters as chapter 6 is rather short :D
I've gotten up to chapter 11 right now so we're slowly catching up guys.
Chapter 6 Everything seems a haze as it all slides back into place again for me. I’m flat on my back in a sterile white room and there is a beep going on and then back off again and back on then back off. I blink as everything becomes clearer, I’m in hospital. I look to my left and see my mum asleep in a recliner, which brings the question to me “What happened?”.
“You had a heart attack love, your body gave up on itself” says a nearby nurse I hadn’t seen earlier, I didn’t realize I’d spoken out loud. “All the months you’ve been hiding from your family how you haven’t been eating and have been purging everything you’ve been eating?” I look at her in shock “Yes we know about the purging your enamel on your teeth is almost gone and you’ve got scarring on your knuckles, you’re lucky you didn’t die Maya. We had to shock you three times, you’d been dead almost five minutes when finally your heart gave another sudden burst of energy and kicked back into rhythm. You’ve been given the best gift of all Maya, a second chance, don’t waste it.” I nodded numbly as I felt my face trying to make sense of the situation, a heart attack? I died? for 5 minutes? A second chance?
If I’d known then what a second chance meant would I of treated it with more respect than I ultimately did? Or would I continue to push boundaries and test the water? Possibly, but the following couple of years were some of the worst I’ve ever had and yet I found out who I truly am and met people who shaped me into who I am today.
Do I regret things I’ve done? Yes.
Would I ever go back and re-do it all? No.
Chapter 7
Walking into work the next morning I cringed as I remembered that I’d forgotten to bring in the ‘Mean Girls’ DVD I’d promised some of the girls on the ward I’d bring in sometime this week (and it was now Friday). I sighed as I entered the nurses’ station and locked away my bag. On today is Anna (one of the younger EN’s on the ward although exceptionally skilled with connecting with some of the kids), Demelza (a 30-something year old woman with a can-do attitude who has four girls under the age of seven, she knows high stress), Dilan (a very laidback guy that gets along well with the guys and is able to restrain a patient if needed despite his extremely short stature), Brian (the dad figure out of all the nurses who seems to like to stick by the books), Anabel (around my age very hyperactive and loud in the mornings, hence some of the girls don’t like her) and Bill our security officer for the day, incase anything happens. The NUM is Andrew who likes to pop his head in occasionally during the day to make sure everything is running smoothly and always offers an extra pair of hands if needed.
During morning meeting today the nurses are still abuzz with the latest news about Nicole, who hasn’t returned yet, but will be returning tomorrow. Most of the patients are doing well, causing havoc as usual, such as David who decided to turn the hallway into an impromptu table tennis battle scene in the wee hours of the morning because he couldn’t sleep. Ultimately he was given his PRN’s and sent off to bed but it caused a fuss with the night staff as they usually don’t have to deal with the havoc of the ward, hence why they work the night shift. “It was frustrating okay Anna? We don’t normally have to deal with kids who are one minute sad and unhappy and being depressive and then the next they’re playing life sized ping pong in the hallway! What would you do?” Says a grumpy Maureen, who had just told Anna about the escapades that happened during the night, which Anna had laughed at “I would’ve laughed Maureen, but I would’ve then told him to get back to bed and asked whether or not he needed anything to help him sleep, I certainly would not have called security before going and speaking to the patient! He has never shown any aggression to anyone, only himself, he wasn’t going to hurt you and quite honestly I think it scared the poor kid. Oh and you gave him how much Valium? Were you trying to overdose him? Or just knock him out for us to deal with, because either way you know I’ve had it up to here-“ Anna was standing up as was Maureen, both with fists clenched and flaring their nostrils as Brian and I interrupted. “Guys, settle okay? We’ll get Andrew in here this morning to talk to David and ask if he felt he was treated wrongly then a mis-conduct report can be submitted that way and Anna if you have a problem with Maureen speak to Andrew about it, don’t argue in here during our change-over time and where some of the kids can see you plus they probably bloody well heard you too, now both of you sit down and shut up!” Brian glared at Maureen and Anna as if to say ‘Say one more word and both of you will be facing disciplinary hearings’. I was still standing between the two as they both sat down and returned to their seats on respective sides of the desk “Thanks Maya” Brian muttered to me as I sat back down too and began to once again try to finish change-over.
Twenty minutes later I head down the corridor with clipboard in hand, as much as it’s speculated that nurses like to wake you up, we do not. Especially a bunch of depressed teenagers who either barely sleep or sleep to get away from the nightmares of real-life, I’ve had pillows stuffed toys and even shoes thrown at me when trying to wake some of the kids up. Wake up rounds are not fun, especially when you’ve been the one in the bed.
“Come on Sam! It’s time to get up or you’re going to miss breakfast!” I say cheerily as possible, this is my third attempt at trying to get Sam out of bed this morning and she obviously does not want to get up, which is unusual for her. “Just leave me sleep okay?” She mumbles “I don’t want breakfast, I’ll get up when group starts at 9, just leave me alone.” she rolls back over again in defiance as I walk out the room saying “Okay, but you’re going to talk to someone at one point today, you can’t lay in bed all day wallowing in your own misery. It’s not going to help your recovery.” I close the door softly behind me and return to the nurses’ station, today was turning out to be a quiet Friday which is really unusual, often we have new admissions or some people will be discharging, but nothing of the sorts have happened yet. It was true though that it was only 8am and the doctors don’t come in until 9am and they like to cause a fuss about anything and everything.
“I’ve tried three times and each time I try she tells me to ‘leave her alone, she’ll get up for group’ the night nurses haven’t written anything in her notes about her not being able to sleep and she isn’t known to have nightmares. So I’m not sure if it’s just a bad day for her or whether it’s something else entirely, at any rate I’ll watch her today and make sure she’s coping alright. Everyone else seems to have had an okay morning so far even Louise who often struggles with breakfast has finished already, she’s normally only halfway through her bowl of Sultana Bran by now and she’s in the shower at the moment. Nicole’s still out so the three I am looking after are taken care of, how are yours Brian?” I’d been doing the mid-morning catch-up with Brian, it can sometimes be useful knowing how other patients are doing and it helps to have other nursing staff know about the current state of mind with some of them. “Well, David’s still sleeping, they gave him double the dose of Valium he usually has this morning so I’m not surprised he’s still knocked out, especially with his small frame. Brad is in the living room reading, he seems a bit quiet this morning, but I think he’s handling things fairly well considering he’s going home on Monday, I might catch up with him later in the shift, see how he’s feeling about Monday. Zach is just finishing up breakfast, actually no he’s just gone into his room” Says Brian as the tall figure of Zach emerges from the dining area and quickly escapes back into the confines of his room. “I think he’s doing okay, quiet as usual, but we haven’t been able to talk to him much since him coming in yesterday afternoon, apparently he was fairly mute when he came in so we’re just going to keep him on close OB’s for now until he settles. So I’ve got Zach on 20minutes, Dylan is on 30minutes but should be back on hourly by the time he sees the doctor and Brad is on hourly OB’s, what are your girls on?” He asks.
“I have Nicole back on Reds when she comes back so she’ll probably be back upstairs for a while, Louise in on 30minutes and I’ve just put Sam back down to 30minute OB’s just in case, she seems fairly hostile this morning and I just want to keep an eye on her for now. Okay I think that’s it then, I’ll go make sure that everyone else is right and then I’ll get started on setting up for group and doing another set of rounds to make sure everyone has had their meds”
May I just reiterate this is not my story nor will it ever be. I'm just writing from past experiences and knowledge, although my aim is to be a nurse in the near future alas I am not one yet. So if anything seems out of context please tell me and I will try my hardest to fix it and consult with others who are helping me edit.
And here comes chapter 8 :D
Also I'm not sure if it's been said before but: Italics = Past Memory
Normal = Current
“The Northside Clinic? The Northside Clinic? How could you? How dare you? I’m not going mum! I’m not letting you fatten me up again, please mum don’t make me go!” fourteen year old me screamed at my mother, she was having me committed how dare she? I wasn’t skinny or anorexic, I was fat, a huge fat ****ing heffa, she couldn’t make me go and I knew it. “No I can’t make you go there honey, but I can let the psych team schedule you to the public system, which is what they want to do and then they’ll start re-feeding with you and if you refuse they’ll put an NG tube up your nose. Now which would you prefer, our decision or theirs?”
I sighed in frustration, ultimately I knew she was right, I knew that I’d be put on bed rest with a NG tube eventually in a public ward, they’d done it to me only three months before. “Fine, I’ll go to Northside on one condition, I’m not treated as if I’m a child; even though I am. I want to be involved in my recovery, I want to be able to have a say in what my care plan is. I’m not a baby anymore mum.” I mumble the last words as she replies “That’s fine honey, we want you to be involved, we want to know what is and isn’t working for you, and we just want you to be happy again.” I sigh again, why can’t they realize I am happy? Every day I get closer and closer to perfection.
------
As we pull up to the whitewashed building I take a deep breath in absorbing my surroundings and my new home for the next few months. We enter the administration area and take a seat, and are told the admissions officer will be 5 minutes. There are a few people in the foyer, some look barely older than me and one girl is walking, no floating around, its as if she walks on air, her stride is as soft as a feather and her body as graceful as a Swan. Her body is perfect, no fat around the edges no pudgy stomach and her legs look like they could go on forever unlike my own stubs.
“Maya Radke?” says a short Blonde lady with a tight pencil skirt on. I nod and she shakes my hand “I’m Amelia I’ll be admitting you today and once you get to your ward they’ll do the proper intake there okay? These are just some technicalities to sort out with your parents before they leave really” She smiles an all to cheesy grin as we’re led down a hallway to the left and into a small office, I let my parents sit and linger against the wall behind them.
“So that’s it, and here’s one of the Nurses Charise to take you to your ward, hope you have a good stay Maya!” she smiles cheerily again, making me wonder what drugs she’s on and where I could get some. As we exit out in to the hallway and this time back down to the right Charise starts talking “You’ll be on Willows Ward while you’d here Maya, it’s our Adolescent Eating Disorder unit and we have a variety of different people here. We also have a strict schedule and while not in group therapy or individual therapy you’ll be expected to be doing study and schoolwork. There are 15 beds on the ward and you’re to be in room 4 right across from the nurses’ station which is common practice for a new arrival. There are four toilets on the ward two near the entry way and two midway down the corridor, please don’t forget to lock the door, it’s rather surprising when another patient walks in on you. Meal times are at 7am, 10:30am, 12pm, 3:15 pm and 5:30pm for now just remember the times as you’ll be meeting with the dietician later this afternoon to work out your meal plan, and this, this is your room.”
Last edited by Crayon, : 12-10-2011 at 09:18 AM.
Reason: Editing! :D
I've just stumbled across this and I've found it a very compelling story so far.
It sounds like you have a strong, realistic plot line. It's not unheard of for those working in a caring role to have overcome similar issues in the past (tenancy/housing support workers are a good example)
It will be interesting to see how much more the protagonist's past affects her in her line of work now. Does she care too much? Will she burn out and break down at any stage? These are all certainly questions I would be asking having read your extracts so far.
I am intrigued as to her back story and you seem to have introduced just the right amount of detail of it, not giving too much away too soon and this ties in with the suspense element of it nicely.
Just out of interest, what sort of research did you do for this story? Only asking because this is possibly one of the most in touch with reality pieces I've read on here in a while. There are a fair few stories of this type that seem to lack clarity because of the inaccuracies between what the writer has written and what actually happens in real life, so that's a very strong positive to take forward.
I for one would definitely read if you wrote more and I hope you do post what you've written.
