Contains sexual abuse - struggling with telling

[needle girl]

*hugs gently*

downplaying things is easy to do.
youve said yourself that when people hear parts of what youve been through they are shocked, hurt for you, etc.

thats for good reason Jo, youve endured abuse your whole life, been through things as a kid that no one should ever go through, your parents allowed and did stuff to you that few people do.

theres a reason you started a thread in the a/b forum, Jo- you have been/are being abused

try to start takin care of you better hun

*snuggles gently*

[l.e.g.o]

therapist doesnt know how to move me forward
said she is very concerned and we need to discuss my options
she thinks my ads arent working
she said she is just unsure what to do
im such a lost cause

and today is my ex#s birthday
he raped me anally for the first time on his boirthday
it was his birthday present

curls up
falling apart

[l.e.g.o]

i rang therapist today and said i needed help
been told i need to talk to gpp and make them listen
feell bit crappy

[damagedsurvivor]

I'm glad you did call your therapist and tell her that you need help. I'm sure that wasn't easy to do.
Have you called your gp yet?
I'm right with you there I feel crappy too.

[l.e.g.o]

she said we should talk more first and will do so next week
feel like she fed up of hearing from me

[damagedsurvivor]

Wow next week? You need to talk now and I'm sure you can't wait that long.
You know you might be right because she should be able to fit you in as an emergency session.
Is there anyone else you can talk to until next week sweetie?

[l.e.g.o]

yeah i beyond help to her
she said she stuck with how to move me forward
not got anyone else really

[damagedsurvivor]

Well then she should refer you to someone else and do it asap.
Do you have a regular doctor you can talk to for now? Some times gp's can help or maybe like a crisis hotline. They can help too.

[l.e.g.o]

gp is not for another 3 and a half weeks
no crisis cos im not a danger to myself it seems
sorry

[damagedsurvivor]

Wow can't you once just catch a break. You must not live in the US because here they can fit you in on very short notice.

Well are you a danger to yourself hun?

[l.e.g.o]

dooubt it
just ignore me

[damagedsurvivor]

No I'm not going to ignore you. I would never do that.
Look I know you don't know me very well but I'm sure Jo will vouch for me, if you need to talk please come talk to me and maybe I can help. I'm not pushing you just giving you an open invitation whenever you are ready, ok?

[l.e.g.o]

thanks
sorry

[damagedsurvivor]

Your welcome sweetie I'm always here for you

[needle girl]

*hugs gently*
you should ask your therapist to be referred to someone who can help since she keeps sayin she cant.

not much to say, thinkin of you *snuggles*

[l.e.g.o]

striuggling a bit
all hurts
feeling ill to
doesnt help

[damagedsurvivor]

*gently hugs Jo*

are you ok?

[l.e.g.o]

not really

[needle girl]

still feel sick?
*snuggles*
take care of yourself hun

[l.e.g.o]

been made to work hard and feel guilty when i was struggling to keep going today
i felt ill but was basically told i still had to get on with it
im exhausted and feel so ill
im struggling to support some people who i know need it more than me
and im fed up of people thinking they know what my life is like when they cant imagine what i feel and therefore push aside what i am feeling as nothing