I'm sorry to hear you self harmed. I would be hurt as well if someone said that to me, but please don't let someone elses stupid comment become your downfall.
Maybe you can write to the staff member, or another when you have had time to calm and reflect and work out what triggered the self harming and also express to the member of staff who upset you how hurtful it was and let them know you found it unnecessary to say something so inflammatory when you were clearly struggling.
I hope you get a good nights sleep, tomorrow is a new day. Remember the reasons YOU are there and try to put everyone else asides from that. This time is for you to make the best of and fight your issues head on.
I have just had one telling off from the ward manager because of my self harm last night, for **** sake it was a couple of little cuts and it was the first time I have cut since Ive been here. and the punishment they have given me has made my mood so low, that I currently dont give a **** about myself. You know last night I had a really rough night and the nurse was really nice and we had a good chat and this morning I was in such a positive good mood, and now they have ****ed it all up! I have been banned from having any visitors!! Currently want to rip my catheter out and watch myself die!
im so sorry that you have to deal with this on top of last night.
Do you know how long the ban on visitors is for?
It does seem wrong or at the very least very unhelpful that they have done this.
However i am guessing that they must be very seriously concerned about your level of self harm to do so.
Did they explain why they choose to give you this punishment ie give you the reasoning behind it?Have you been able to talk to them about hwo hard you have been trying and how unfair you feel the punishment is/how this is effecting you?
Please keep fighting.i love you.
xx xx
Last edited by Sleepless123 : 12-09-2011 at 05:35 PM.
Reason: Spelling
i do not always manage to be around but i wish you all the very best - love and luck to you all!
If it was only a couple of small cuts then the punishment does seem quite extreme to me. However if it was a bad cut that needed medical attention (i.e. stitches) then I understand the severity of the punishment more. Also if there was the suggestion from you that you were going to do it again or were going to run away again and OD I kinda get why they have been stern.
Saying that, a punishment for self harming would leave me feeling **** and that it was unfair - its only coz I'm on the outside that I can put a small rationale on things.
You have been through enough already physically and mentally. Don't punish yourself as well. You have got through several quite severe hiccups since being at CH and come out the other side with positive fighting spirit. Please don't let this set you back - you've been through worse so you can get through this, think of it like that if it helps.
Make the most of phoning people (get them to ring you back ;) ) texting, emailing, PMing and basically using every other form of communicating with your loved ones.
Question as above - how long is the punishment for?
Keep your chin up and take care.
Liddy xx
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
I'm sorry you're struggling, it's perfectly understandable though, it seems very unfair to not allow you any visitors. How are you feeling now? Are you allowed to visitors now?
Hie strawberry cola,
just read what you have been going through and wow, what can i say? im 23 too, been in/out of hospital a few times, but (touch wood) havent messed up my kidneys.
what unit are you in? from my experience, they all seem to have varying policies. some use the rewards system, where they take away priveledges, whereas others may be a bit more realistic.
i know in hospital every minute stretches on for ages, but trust me things will get easier. stay in touch and huge massive hugs
Sammie, I'm so sorry they wouldn't let me see you today. I hope the message that you're allowed visitors again gets round to the other nurses.
I'm sure you're really annoyed at the staff right now but but try not to do anything that will get you in more trouble.
I hope you're having a good day :)
<3 <3 <3
Always seem to get things just that little bit wrong.
"don't wish, don't start, wishing only wounds the heart"
I saw Sammie this evening and she said her laptop's going really slowly atm so not sure if she's online much.
I don't want to answer for her as to how she's doing but she has had a bit of an eventful few days. She seems to be coping pretty well with it all though and is still working towards recovery :)
Always seem to get things just that little bit wrong.
"don't wish, don't start, wishing only wounds the heart"
Hi guys
Im really low on words right now.
Sorry but I just wanted to post something to say that I have read your threads.
I really appreciate the support you are giving me.
I am going through a very hard time at the moment,my physical health and of course mental health.
I can only keep saying this, but dont ever say "that wont happen to me" with regards to something bad happening, because saying that sentance is now the biggest regret I have ever made in my life, as well as having anorexia.
You know what I am 23 and I have to take in the fact that I have to have a permanent catheter! And its not very dignified to wake up to find that your catheter has disconneted and leaked all over your bed! Its actually the same as wetting yourself! Totally happened last night I feel so disgusted with myself and humiliated, that this is now my life. Because of the damage I have done, and now more and more health problems are coming up, which I cant talk about yet, because they are still under investigation.
But seriously it really makes you think!
Being anorexic is not worth the after effects, would you rather be thin and starve and have to have permanent tubes sticking out of you and permanent medication and not being able to do fun things because you have tubes sticking out of you, and feeling ill all the time, or would you rather get out there and have fun.
I know what I would pick!
I know no one is going to listen to that, but yeah.
Will be in the EDU for a while, so if anyone wants to write or something....Been here 2 months now.
Sorry I dont want people to feel sorry for me - I jsut want people to realise that eating disorders really do kill! Ive nearlly died 4 times in the space of 2 months, and Im not even out of the woods yet.
Sorry for not being around alot, just finding everything so difficult at the moment. But I am sure If I dont come on for periods of time then Claire will update you, because she visits me :)
Last edited by I am a cat : 20-09-2011 at 05:50 PM.
Good to hear from you Sammie. Its one thing people posting support for you (which is nice) but another hearing from yourself. I'm glad that you are being looked after so well and that they are taking your physical problems seriously and investigating them.
Don't feel embarrassed about your catheter leaking - its just one of those things and I'm sure the staff will understand. You never know - one day you may be able to control your bladder problems by taking tablets rather than having a catheter. My bladder weakness is controlled by tablets.
Keep your positive attitude but please remember that not all your physical problems are likely to be permament.
Take care and I will write to you if you want - I know how much letters keep you going when in hospital but whats the address? I know its Cotswald (sp) House.
Liddy xx
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
Hiya, you know what you are saying is so true, and i hope you can fight this and recover. don't really know what else to say just wanted to offer some support
*bug hugs*
Do not adjust your mind, there is a fault in reality
I have no words right now,, but I had to tell you how inspiring you are!
After all of the awful things you've had to experience recently,, you're here & fighting stronger than ever.
Some people would have given up but you've just become more & more determined to be free of this.
I always knew you were strong! <3
Never give up Sam!
Xxxxx
Well content loves the silence, It thrives in the dark, With fine winding tendrils,That strangle the heart,
They say that promises sweeten the blow, But I don't need them, No, I don't need them...
Triply - keep fighting. I'm proud of you. Yes the medical complications are so difficult for you but you can still experience a life after this! Keep fighting, sending you all my love & good vibes your way xxxxx
Sammie is having a load of investigations for her medical problems today. She's been very nervous about them so I'm sure she would love some more of the lovely messages people are leaving.
Always seem to get things just that little bit wrong.
"don't wish, don't start, wishing only wounds the heart"
I have just had one telling off from the ward manager because of my self harm last night, for **** sake it was a couple of little cuts and it was the first time I have cut since Ive been here. and the punishment they have given me has made my mood so low, that I currently dont give a **** about myself. You know last night I had a really rough night and the nurse was really nice and we had a good chat and this morning I was in such a positive good mood, and now they have ****ed it all up! I have been banned from having any visitors!! Currently want to rip my catheter out and watch myself die!
