I don't think I can do it. **possible SH & ED trig**

[Antebellum]

I'm starting a masters in psychology in under two weeks and I'm starting to panic.

I can't talk to anyone about it because 'i'm better' I am really excited but I just don't know if I can do it. I don't think I'm smart enough to do the work. Its going to be so demanding and I'm not smart enough.

I'll never be good enough for anyone, I'm always doing something wrong or I'm not smart enough. I couldn't even get a 2i in my undergraduate degree. I'm stupid for thinking I could do this.

I don't self harm anymore but I'm constantly thinking about it, I used it to cope with pressure and stress and now I have nothing to use. its always there in the back of my mind, I go over it again and again in my head.

I'm starting to have panic attacks again. Its starts with my chest going tight and I feel like I cant breath, then everything is on top of me. I can't handle this.

Theres so much going on in my family I know I'm stupid for feeling like this, I'm selfish for even considering it. I want to go back, I want to go back 6 years and just be able to hurt myself again, to not eat and feel empty for days then to eat everything in sight. I want to cut myself and take as many tablets as I want. I want to feel in control of myself. I want to feel it again. I hate being empty like this.

Theres something seriously wrong with me for wanting it all back.

I just feel like recovering was the worst thing I ever did, because now I have to lie.

I'm sorry

[Rain Keeper]

Don't be sorry...true feelings that hurt your heart and mind...you are strong...you need to just find a way to ease the stress...do a work out...walk...bake. Just something...


I wish you good studies...you will do well!!!!

Rain

[Margo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rhi89

I can't talk to anyone about it because 'i'm better'

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rhi89

I'm starting to have panic attacks again. Its starts with my chest going tight and I feel like I cant breath, then everything is on top of me. I can't handle this.

I want to cut myself and take as many tablets as I want. I want to feel in control of myself. I want to feel it again. I hate being empty like this.

Theres something seriously wrong with me for wanting it all back.

I just feel like recovering was the worst thing I ever did, because now I have to lie.

I'm sorry

So youre better than you were, but you still sound ill to me regarding what you said after the "better" part!

Firstly you didnt get a 2:1 but you passed and have been accepted to do a masters. You say you suffer with stress and you coped by self harming. Sounds to me like you managed to get this degree even tho the odds were already stacked against you due to your mental health? Id say you did pretty well.

I doubt you arent bright enough to do this. I suspect that what happens is you have so much other stuff going on upstairs that you find it harder to concentrate, remember and then recite. I bet your comprehension is absolutely fine?

Be a little gentler on yourself. It will be ok.

[Mandimoo]

hey hun they clearly think you're capable or your place would have gone to someone else. come on Rhi you can do this. it's a new level of learning, you're not alone, you will be taught, so long as you can still learn and committed to put in the hours of work, revision etc you will be fine. it's going to be hard but just imagine the warm afterglow of knowing that 'you' have done this - no-one did it for you, you have done it, you've been successful, you have acheived what the majority do not (most don't go onto masters) and be proud!