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Old 09-09-2011, 09:38 PM   #1
Chevonne
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Can sex outside of marriage be sacred?

Me and my other half have decided to get married but as we are under the legal age and have quite archaic parents (as in they wouldn't understand) we have a secret engagement which only our two closest friends know about.
Last June I got a purity/chastity ring which means I wont have sex until marriage, at the time it was right for me and I was in no form of a relationship back then. But me and my partner have become so close, we have lately begun sleeping together. We do it because we are in love and because we want to be as close as possible to each other and want to show our love for each other. It's all done in the name of love but I end up with guilty feelings some of the time, I feel confused, I don't regret it, just don't know how to process it. My partner has told me again and again that if I want to stop for a while to help me process it it's fine because he's not with me for sex and will wait until i'm ready again, but I want to know if sex outside marriage can be sacred? We are in love and do it for that reason, but everywhere I look it says we are adulterers and will go to hell...HELP!!!

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Old 09-09-2011, 09:46 PM   #2
xxhappydaysxx
 
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The problem is that this is all going to be down to personal values/morals and opinions, so no one can actually answer it apart from you, and that needs to be judged on your feelings and beliefs.

Personally, I believe that being in love with someone and having sex with them is totally ok. When i was in relationships and it felt right, i slept with people, cos it felt ok to do so. I had no intention of marrying them or being with them forever. But my personal preference is just to feel its right at the time.

It sounds like youre partener respects you a lot which is awesome. Just trust yourself, no one can really answer for you aside from yourseld. xxx



"If only everyone could know and live with their inner craziness…people would be fairer and happier."
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Old 09-09-2011, 10:25 PM   #3
Sarahloubee
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I think that it's good to wait and come to terms with it if that's what you need.

Think of it this way, during sex a woman is extremely vulnerable, more vulnerable than she ever could be. And if you've not been having sex for long then you'll feel even more vulnerable.

Am I right in thinking you're a Christian?
I'm not anti-religious but I think the man-made pressures put on people by Biblical laws cause unnecessary anxiety.

You need to do what is right for you. By having sex outside of marriage you do not need to fear hell or God by acting on perfectly natural and human impulses.
As long as you look after yourself and respect yourself, God will love and cherish you for taking care of his precious gift - you.



Let go when you’re hurting too much,
give up when love isn’t enough and
move on when things are not like before.
There is someone out there who will love you even more,
surely then, you will know
true love.


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Old 10-09-2011, 04:18 AM   #4
Geranium2
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chevonne View Post
Can sex outside of marriage be sacred
Of Course!

-that's my opinion. I agree with happy days though, in the end you'll have to work out your own values based on your feelings and beliefs.

(And just to state the obvious- if you even might end up in bed use contraception.)


Last edited by Geranium2 : 10-09-2011 at 04:30 AM.
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