jo you are so brave for going to the police and nice lady like that
i dont no what i dould do if i was in ur situation
just remember you don't deserve to be treated the way your sister has treated you
*hugs*
if you need to tell someone any thing you dont want to put on here feel free to pm me xx
*snuggles* great job with the police hun :D shorter visits are probably better
they need as much evidence as they can get hun, the more evidence the easier it is to convict her in court. you need to tell everything they ask for hun
if youre not feelin too safe, could you go to a friends or have someone stay the night with you?
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
im not doing good just now, im self destructing.
last night was horrendous with memories and flashbacks (i thought they were flashbacks) the pain and her touching and doing bad things was real so real.
not coping at all.
i did bad thing did bad, i just lost it.
*curls up*
*snuggles close*
Jo, is there a friend you can call when things are real bad, when you keep havin flashbacks? someone who can help you stay grounded?
im sorry you felt so bad n did a bad thing, is understandable
lots of here do mean things to us, youre not alone
doesnt make it ok, its never ok for any of us ever but we can keep goin n keep tryin
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
*snuggles into you* i dont really have anyone i can call to help me, its just me.
seeing nice lady today will try and tell her how bad the flashbacks are and how real, also got to tell her that sister sent 2 friends round late lastnight, i was so scared i tried to scream but nothing came out.
im a mess just cant cope with all this anymore, my self harming is out of control i just want to destroy me, i hate myself, this is all my fault. *curls up*
none of this is your fault Jo. if these people werent hurting you there would be no flashbacks, no pains, no talkin to the police, none of this. its their fault sweetie. unfortunatly because of what theyve done, theres some things you should do to make you as safe as possible, and youve been doing great workin on those things Jo. *snuggles* what happened with the 2 friends?
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
i feel so exhausted and i hurt so much i cant take anymore i just cant.
not coping at all right now feel so out of control and the flashbacks are getting more and more severe and real. ive had enough, i wanna give up.
her 2 friends got very angry with me cause i wouldnt open door wide one grabbed me and wouldnt let go of me thats when i tried to scream but nothing came out. they didnt hurt me other than where she grabbed hold of me.
ive got to see the police this afternoon but i dont want too cause they keep asking hard questions and im scared, so so scared.
i just want to curl up and die.
*curls up*
*snuggles* g'job on ot openin the door much Jo :) try not openin it at all next time. Take the interview with police slow hun, n tell'em if you need a break for a few minutes. *hugs* keep goin Jo
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
jo im proud of you because can survive all the stuff that you have had to live through if that was me i would have just ended it after the first time they abused me
*hugs*
no matter what happens there will always be someone who would miss you if you died
live is for living not worrying
if life gives you lemons make lemonade
life is sometimes stormy but to get though the storms you have to learn to dance in the rain
depressed? earphones in, music loud, and just forget about the world
thats it i cant do this no more *curls up sobbing*
i feel so dirty, vile and disgusting.
dont want to be me anymore.
spent hours with the police yesterday it was awful, im sure they think im a dirty whore, because when i was telling them some things she/they did to me they gasped and their faces looked disgusted with it all.
i tried so hard to tell them more but after that i couldnt, i just had to get out of there.
i needed to get home and scrub them off me cause i felt so dirty and disgusting.
i cant get clean keep scrubbing but cant get clean.
need to get them off of me
dont want to be dirty anymore
want it all to go away
*hides shaking and crying*
*picks you up and cuddles gently*
Youve been sooo brave Jo.
they dont think youre dirty or disgusting, they think your sister n her friends are. You arent dirty or anything like that. Your sister and hers friends are, for doin that stuff to you. They looked disgusted because whats been done to you is awful, very bad abuse.
*snuggles gently* nice lady helpin you hun?
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
*cuddles into you close*
the looks on there faces was horrible, just sheer disgust, i didnt mean to make them feel bad i didnt.
maybe telling them is bad idea.
im seeing the nice lady today cause she had to leave me with the police yesterday. but the police rang her after i broke down.
just want to curl up and forget
want it all to go away
can feel them all the time
hurting me
please make it stop, i dont like it.
*curls up in your arms*
the police and the nice lady are trying to make it go away and if the look on their faces was pure disgust it is because of what you have had done to you. Now if you do end it all that is as good as saying 'look I'm not strong I'm weak, you have won' but if do have the strength to carry on you are saying 'I'm strong ,you are weak, im not the disgusting, horrible one that deserves to feel ashamed of myself you are the one that deserves to feel that way for all the horrible things you have put my through'
I am sooo proud of you for having the strength to tell people and speak up about the abuse
*hugs*
no matter what happens there will always be someone who would miss you if you died
live is for living not worrying
if life gives you lemons make lemonade
life is sometimes stormy but to get though the storms you have to learn to dance in the rain
depressed? earphones in, music loud, and just forget about the world
*snuggles* jazzie said it perfectly hun. Theyre not disgusted at you, not at all. It is hard for anyone who cares at all to hear what you've been through. Though I know you don't want them to feel bad, the fact that they do shows they care. You've had to endure all this, its not your fault, and its not your fault that the police are reacting the way they are. It's not pleasant for you or them, but it needs done. You need to tell them, they need as much info as possible to press charges against them. Your sister and her friends need stopped, punished, and helped so hopefully they never do anything like this again.
Is there a support group for survivors of abuse you could join Jo? Could help to talk to others who've been through abuse, and you could make some friends.
*snuggles gently* I wish I could make everything go away for all of us and all of us be fine. Life doesn't work like that though *hugs* tried grounding methods?
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
so not disgusted at me then?
so me has to carry on telling them what theyve done to me? then it will all be better and stop for ever and ever
me dont want to be hurt no more
sorry me really struggling right now
not managing it very well
*curls up cuddling eeyore*
been trying grounding methods but not working to well flashbacks so intense
me just want to hide
*covers self with blankie*
no hun, theyre not disgusted at you- theyre disgusted at your sister n her friends and what they did to you. but not at you.
well, you have a choice of whether to keep talking to the police or not. you should keep talking though, the more info you give them the easier it will be for them to take legal action against your sister and her friends. the police want to do as much as they can to make sure they dont hurt you ever again, which requires some cooperation in speaking on your part.
*snuggles gently* nothin to be sorry for Jo. its ok to hide for a little while. try doin some nice things for you.
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
all the pain you have been through must have been hard but no matter what you mustn't give up hunni
it will stop for ever and ever when the police have enough evidence to get a setence that they deserve which is the maximuim amount of time they can get they just want to get justice for you
i will always be here if you want to talk no matter what it is about
you are strong and im proud of you
no matter what happens there will always be someone who would miss you if you died
live is for living not worrying
if life gives you lemons make lemonade
life is sometimes stormy but to get though the storms you have to learn to dance in the rain
depressed? earphones in, music loud, and just forget about the world
