Thank you Once A Fallen Angel. If you've read my threads then you'll know I can be feisty and gentle too!
How did you cope with the long hours and the anorexia/physical side of things and why do you think that places make such long timetables? I'd be very interested in your input here.
Thanks x
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
At first the long hours nearly killed me!! I was exhausted, but on the plus side I fell into bed at 10.30pm and was asleep before I had time to worry and fret over what had happened in the day/what was going to happen tomorrow. Our last group at 10pm was sort of a debfriefing too, it was called 'goodnight group' lol, and we had to go around saying how we were feeling emotionally, physically and spiritually, and briefly discuss any issues we had. To be honest everyone was so tired by this point, even the physically well people that it was quite short. The staff worked hard to make sure the day ended on a positive note, and to make sure we all went to bed happy-ish.
It wasn't too bad physically in that all of the groups were 'sitting down' groups, but I did find the chairs uncomfortable when I was at my lowest weight!! But it was still tiring enough, and I had the added extra stress of every meal time-- everyone else was sitting at tables together laughing and joking and I was sat with a nurse physically shaking and that used up a lot of energy too.
I think they have such long timetables to a) keep you busy and occupied b) because they have to make the months you spend there count so fit as much as possible into each day and c) so it leaves you little time for 'non recovery' stuff. But that's just my ideas on it.
It definitely got easier as the weeks/months went on, just be prepared to be exhausted mentally and physically the first week!!
Hope that helps, sorry if it's a bit disjointed I'm not too well at the moment but if I can help in any way, I'd love to :)
Quote:
“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. i'll always be with you.”
The NHS let me down time and time again, and wouldn't admit me because I wasn't in danger of imminent death,so my family decided to pay for me to go privately. After I think 2 weeks another anorexic patient came in, and shortly after an over-eater came in, so there was a mix of allsorts. I actually found the self harm aspect of it much harder to deal with as the aim was for me to stop completely, but I was still finding ways to do it when in distress. But in the end I DID stop, and managed to stop for 8 months after leaving the rehab :)
Quote:
“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. i'll always be with you.”
The NHS can really suck! I am shocked at the new criteria for anorexia - in danger of imminent death - to be admitted to an ED unit - when I started going to ED units in 1997 the criteria was to be below 15 BMI and it has slowly developed into stupidity in its criteria.
Thank you for answering me - did being with drug and alcohol patients help or hinder your anorexia recovery or are you not recovered? My only other option was a self harm unit that took ED's, drugs and alcohol too and it sounded awful.
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
Oh the drug and alcohol patients help hugely bless them. They were forever cheering me up when I'd had a struggle at meal times, and I'm still in touch with a few of them who have become my best friends. In the rehab the staff put me on some new meds that made me gain an enormous amount of weight over the last three years, and I now struggle with bulimia, but the months I spent there were so, so helpful and worthwhile I wouldn't change it for the world.
Can I ask what the other self harm unit was-- was it The Cassel? Just curious.
Good luck :)
Quote:
“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. i'll always be with you.”
I was assessed to go to the Cassel when I was at a private ED unit in the year 2000 roughly but I was deemed too unsafe, too suicidal and unable to take enough responsibility for myself and my actions including food.
The self harm unit was called Rudford and for 12-19 year olds. I was there but deemed too ill/unsafe to be there after two weeks and sectioned elsewhere. It was brand new opened, 4 bedroomed, I was the 2nd patient. It's now renamed and remodelled but unfortunately only for kids/adolescents - no adult unit was set up within the company which has an adolescent ED unit that I happened to spend 18 months in first.
I did go to a therapeutic community - the hardest place I've been to and I've been to 11 different hospitals and units so I have plenty to compare with! I went for 4 years and it saved my life. I went in at 19 and left at 23, I went in a child and left a mature adult. Unfortunately it was closed when the second lot of managers commited fraud and the place went bust - it was called Kelling Park. I owe so much to Kelling. But it was the toughest, most challenging place I've been to but there was love and compassion there. Thoughtfullness and kindness.
I've spent 9 years in hospital - this placement will make it 9 1/2 years. A third of my life :(
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
I went for 4 years and it saved my life. I went in at 19 and left at 23, I went in a child and left a mature adult. I owe so much to Kelling. But it was the toughest, most challenging place I've been to but there was love and compassion there. Thoughtfullness and kindness.
I'd expect that this will be as challenging and if not more so this time around, but go in with the mindset that it will save and change your life and you will be OK xxx
Quote:
“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. i'll always be with you.”
You wont be doing intense therapy all of the time between 8am-8pm. You do get breaks (I used them to sleep, I set my alarm to wake me up in time for the next group) and yes it is mostly sitting down so nothing too strenuous.
Some of the groups are not too taxing, for example the evening activity after dinner. That's always fun because it's something like a board game and helps you to unwind.
If you feel like anything is too difficult to you then talk to them straight away to see how you can make steps to overcome it. Though bear in mind every group you miss you can't get back :(
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
Hi, i just wanted to say that i hope everything turns out okay as i'm sure you will and hope you will settle in soon. Im sure you will make friends and it will help you in the long run. Take care and stay safe.
Lots of love!! xx
Have you ever looked fear in the face and said "I just don't care"?
Liddy I'm so sorry I've only just seen this. I hope that being IP helps you, I really do. You've been so fantastic to me and you are such a kind and beautiful person, you deserve better than how you are feeling. Only ever a PM away, lots of love xox
