Scared

[Airplanes]

*not sure if there is any triggers in this, but a warning all the same.*

I've just moved, and in the new town I'm in, I haven't set up a support base. Lately I have been SHing quite a bit, and today I've looked up the local CMHT number, which is across the lake from where I live (the Illawarra NSW Australia. I live on the edge of Lake Illawarra. The last time I was admitted was when I wasn't feeling as bad as I am now, and that was almost seven years ago, when I was twelve, and that was only for three days to see what was going on.

I've stopped taking my meds, even my epilepsy ones (i haven't had any seizures yet...) because I lack the motivation to take them, plus I have been repetitively misdiagnosed. I feel as though being admitted, at least at the moment, would be the best thing to do, but I'm scared to ask for help.... It's at the point where all I can think about is dying and how exactly I'd do that.

Some support and advice would be lovely...

[Once A Fallen Angel]

*hugs*

Please, please please take your meds. Especially your epilepsy meds, it so so dangerous to not take them.

And it's certainly worth phoning the CMHT and explaining how you are feeling, they might arrange to meet you at first to do an assessment and you'll be able to tell them exactly what you are struggling with.

Good luck with it and let us know how you get on xxxx

[Pretty.Reckless]

So sorry to hear you are feeling like this.... as Once a Fallen Angel said...pleasee take yours meds esspecially those for your epilepsy.

I think its best you do phone them before things get too much to manage...if you feel an In patient admission would be good for you then call them and tell them how you are feeling and see what they can do for you.

I hope it all goes well. Pm if you need to. xx

[Airplanes]

i chickened out and didnt ring. :( i feel so disappointed in myself..

[YellowDove]

Dont feel disappointed in yourself! The fact that you're still fighting at all shows how amazing and strong you are <3 Keep breathing and know that there are ways things will get better. If you feel that going in-patient would be to your benefit, you should for sure try calling them again to at least take a step in that direction. (But pleeeeaaase take your meds :[ I know you dont feel like it, but that is so important...you're a beautiful human and you deserve health)

[roiben]

I am sorry you are struggling. Please take your meds though, even if that the only thing you can build up motivation to do.

Have you considered going across to them, if phoning is difficult? You should be able to ask to speak to a Duty member of staff, who can discuss how you are feeling and assess you. It may mean waiting until they are available, but if the phone is proving tricky, there is nothing wrong with turning up. Especially if you are struggling.

Roiben x

[Airplanes]

it's tricky for me either way, because i don't really have any support where i'm living. i'm living with my dad, and he's pretty screwed up himself, and his new wife, who's nice, but works heaps.

i still haven't started taking my meds again, but now it's because there's a tiny possibility i might be pregnant, and i'm worried about how they could affect the pregnancy if i am. i'm making a doctor's appointment soon though..

[roiben]

If anything, not feeling you have support at home is all the more reason to seek out the support elsewhere. There is nothing, really, to stop you going and asking for help. Call a taxi if you need it to get there.

As to possibility of being pregnant, have you taken a test? And, I would look to book the appointment with the Dr as soon as possible - for one, there are medicines that you should be taking. Phone up and see if there are any emergency slots available.

I know it is scary stuff, but that needs pushing through right now as you need the help and you can get it, no matter how tricky it may feel.

Roiben x