yeh I was able to be really honest with B... she knows me way too well though:( she noted that
a) when she asked about the plans I was keeping very general and she pulled me up on that and asked me why
I told her cause i was terrified of telling yet another person (she didnt get the messages from N as the puters there were stuffing up - plus for me!!) I also told her I felt like I was being a broken record and saw no point in talking about it
- I did tell her all the plans though and even to the extent of how likely I was to act... (so shut up ella!!!!! someone really knows and she will help me. I trust B and I always will and you can never change that
i am in control here and not you!!!!!!!!!!)
b) after I told her that what N did yesterday when I told her about the 'other' sui plans made me feel worse. B asked if that was likely to prevent me from calling N and me pushing N away again and grrrrrrr ......right again
she told me that given how I was going and the fact I refuse to go into IP that I need to contact khl more and mainly talk to N (she works full time and B is on the phones maybe 2 times a week if i am lucky
) she also said that I had to call khl and talk to anyone if N or her werent on shift. she asked me too if I could call her tomorrow... and even though i would call her regardless of if she asked me or not (I love talking to her and she is amazing and the best!!!) I cant help but feel I am wasting 'her' time when she could better use 'her' time talking to her other clients
I feel horrible!!!!
