do you also think?????????????

[to-be-happy]

people say ''please stop cutting or please dont hurt yourself'' but how do they understand what the every thought is of a Self injurer,,,,do you think that them saying please stop its easier sayd then done????????????

[castaway]

I think often they don't understand how difficult it can be to stop, however in most cases they are only concerned and are trying to help. Quitting is deffinitly eaiser said than done.

[to-be-happy]

yeah thts what i mean 'not understanding' :)))))))

[Tig]

Yes ~ I think people who haven't self harmed don't understand how difficult it is to not self harm. However, as castaway said, I think they only say it because they care and don't want to see you hurting yourself. I guess people try their best to understand but if they haven't self harmed, it is difficult to grasp how hard it is to quit. Which I guess would be the same for us if they had a difficulty that we hadn't experienced. xx

[The One Who]

Not every self-harmer's thoughts are taken up by it.

What do you want them to say to you?

[to-be-happy]

^^^^ >:/ shut up theres always one mean person on a thread

[xlaurenx]

^ Hmm little harsh in my opinion. Considering claire was just asking a question.

I try to compare sh-ing to something my dad does ( smoking) or my mum does ( having one drink every night) How they would feel.

But i guess it is because they care and sadly unless people have been through it they will never know.

[Perplexity]

The people who say things like that are panicking because they see some one they care about hurting themselves. Which must be hard to understand.

It is easier said than done to just quit but you have to remember these people just care about you, other wise they wouldn't try to get you to stop.

/I think I've just repeated what everyone else has said but ho hum :)

[The One Who]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kiandra3

^^^^ >:/ shut up theres always one mean person on a thread

Wow. Okay.

I asked a simple question, one that might actually help you figure out what you want/need from friends and family. I also said that not every self-harmer is consumed by thoughts about self-harm, showing that you also don't have to be. But whatever.

[dancenikidance]

Most deff easier said then done in my opinion. Its like a drug you cant just stop.

[Snow White.]

Easier said than done, but still possible. Certainly very possible.

I agree with Claire that asking yourself, 'what would you like them to say', might get you thinking about what you want/need to hear from them. And then maybe you can talk with them about ways of responding that are, vs are not, helpful for you.

They say "please don't hurt yourself" with the best intentions. The problem is if we do hurt ourselves, we feel a large knock of guilt about going against their wishes. But if they didn't ask you not to, then you'd feel they don't care, right? Maybe it's worth explaining you are trying not to, but you're struggling, and if you do then you need to know it's okay to tell them so you can get support. Or call them when you have urges (preferable).