BPD and control of symptoms

[one_step_closer]

Sorry for creating another thread.

I have just phoned the crisis team and have been told, as I have been told before, that I 'just' have a personality disorder. The lady I was speaking to said that it means that I should be able to control myself and I can choose to be unrealistic or something like that. She has told me before that my problems are behavioural and I should be able to control my thoughts and feelings. My psychiatrist thinks this too, I think that is where she is getting this point of view from.

I read somewhere that BPD is an attitude problem. I feel like no one really gets it, or am I being stupid here? Do I have control of my symptoms? Do I pick and choose each day which ones I want to exaggerate so that I can get some attention? Specifically people don't believe that I have men in my head and get frustrated with me when I feel suicidal because they must think that it isn't a true and deep feeling but only on the surface because I 'just' have a personality disorder.

What are your views on this? I hope I have made sense.

[startingagain]

Have you read the NICE guidelines on treatment for BPD?

[Stellata]

'Attitude problem'? Sounds kind of demeaning and abusive.

I see it as an attachment disorder, or a disorder of emotional regulation arising from trauma in relationship.

Along with the NICE guidelines, I'd advise reading on neuroscience and 'personality disorders'.

[Tig]

I get very frustrated with people who have this opinion on BPD. As I've been in the mental health services for many years I have come across a variety of opinions with different nurses and doctors.

The consultant at my local hospital does not believe in BPD. He believes it is just "acting up" to cause trouble and to distress others.

Thankfully though I was moved to another acute which was further from home but with a much more understanding consultant. He put me on medication and accepted that BPD is an illness. He empathised with how difficult it can be.

I was also put in touch with my now psychotherapist and he is specialist for personality disorders. He understands that it is not our choice to feel the way we feel. He said simply 'why would anyone choose to feel that way' or feel the need to harm ourselves etc.

You don't pick and choose your symptoms or have total control over them. I guess sometimes we do have to try and take some responsibility but that isn't meant in a negative way. We can't choose the symptoms or always control them but at times we may have the capacity to think "okay I have this symptom and I know I need to do x y z to cope with it" which it sounds like you tried to use today by seeking the help of crisis team. I'm sorry they were so unsupportive though. I believe at times we are unable to take responsibility at all, at the very darkest times of BPD.

Hugs. I hope what I've said makes sense. x

[tinamarie]

i have bpd and the only way i am able to controll it is with the proper meds and support from others and even then its stil hard, recently i recieved a psyciatric service dog to help me as well and i have never felt so well, it takes hard work but i know u can do it and pm me anytime

[flutterby butterfly]

(((((hugs Lindsay)))))

we must share the same sympathetic & helpful crisis team. bunch of twats

I have BPD, and this is my honest thoughts on it. Sometimes I do things for shits and giggles, don't know why, I just do. I put this down to a habit - something I've done for so long, it's second nature to me. That to me, feels different to my BPD stuff. That horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach that pretty much controls what you're saying and doing, that destructive & awful sensation that makes you do things that you know you'll feel so awful about later. As Tig said we don't choose our symptoms, and whilst we may well be ultimately responsible for ourselves and our actions it doesn't always mean we're totally in control of them. If they felt the way you do, I'm sure they'd understand that no-one would ever choose to feel that way.

I'm so sorry they were so unhelpful. *sigh* I read once that they're thinking of renaming BPD to more accurately say what it is - the inability to regulate ones emotions Emotional Dysfunction or something like that was the suggestion. I think that'll help somewhat in changing people's perception of it.

Thinking of you. *hugs* xx

[roiben]

*wraps arms around Lindsey*

I have heard similar things said about depression - It is the whole "snap out of it" view that really riles me. I am sorry you have had to come up against it.

I agree with others - Look at NICE, and if need be, take it with you, with sections highlighted. BPD is valid and is not your choice, nor do I think it is an attention getting thing. If your psych is really being this narrow minded, can you ask to change psychs?

Sorry I do not have better words of advice right now. Head is a bit muffly.

Roiben x