Not innapropriate, but something that I didn't appreciate being said to me "I know you're not cuting anymore, you're wearing short sleeves". Umm hello, I'm just not cutting my arms!
"Keep your heart open to dreams. For as long as there's a dream, there is hope, and as long as there is hope, there is joy in living."
^
Yeah, when I first told my mom she said "To be honest, I'd have almost rather you told me that you were pregnant, that would be more of a normal teen girl thing to do..."
I don't blame her, she was upset, but really? Pregnant?!
In her defense, she used to struggle with a severe eating disorder and is very touchy about anything involving mental disorders/ SI.
When life hands you lemons, make orange-juice...
...Then sit backand watch everyone wonder how you did it.
A short amount of time before starting high school:
My mom: "I really hope you don't get involved with those emos and cutters. Those people need serious help."
I just put my head down and sighed. Not only had I already been self-harming for a year and a half, but she also has issues with depression.
Edit: Yeah it's not a reaction to my scars, just kinda realized that.
Last edited by Sleeveless Man : 13-07-2011 at 03:58 PM.
And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts...
And I looked and behold, a pale horse
And his name that sat on him was Sleeveless
And Hell followed with him
I really hate it when people say they know how I feel, or try and sympathise with my situation, like they have been through it. No you have not been through what I have, and no, you do not know how you would react to being in my situation...
My friend also said, a few weeks ago, when I couldn't sit down for five minutes without SIing (trichotillomania), 'I'm gonna go and read a book, and have a glass of wine, maybe you should read a book or something'... she said it without thinking... but I went home, and pulled out most of my eyelashes.
Death is one moment, and life is so many of them.
Don't look forward to the day you stop suffering, because when it comes you'll know you're dead.
~ Tennessee Williams
I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad,
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.
I'm actually a girl. My nickname was given by a friend and stuck ;)
My mum says to me 'Stop cutting yourself, you're making everyone around you upset' & that makes me feel worse. I've had a few of the ones people have said, too. My best friend also said 'I'm not going to be your friend anymore if you don't stop cutting, you'll never see me again if you cut just once more, you're making me depressed, just stop it, it's easy.' NO it's not? It's an addiction?
Also had a stranger come up to me, grab my arm & say 'You should be ashamed of yourself, your arms on show like that, why don't you get back to the mental hospital where you belong' & that really upset me because that was the 1st day I'd got the courage to go out without long sleeves. =[
I once had a DR in A&E ask me if i'd watched the secretary and when i said no told me i "should watch it,you and the woman have things in common,maybe you do it for the same reasons" i was just sat there like WTF...
thankfully ive never seen him again,or i'd be suggesting he go watch some films i suggest!
wow,just wow to some of the things people have had said to them....
ive had some of them said to me,but holy cr@P some of the things people have come out with...
randomly,i was on a caving trip with some friends and on our way back to the car people kept falling on their arses(wet grass,downhills and wellies dont mix!)so one guy wondering how he was going to explain his disheveled,scratched self to his wife came out the the most random thing and said "i fell off the moon into a box of razorblades"....at which point all eyes whipped round to me so to make light of it(and save me from having him apologise to me for a month) i said "thats NOTHING i fell into a SKIP of them"..worked out well for the both of us really,warped senses of humour made us compete on who could come up with the most ridiculous...
so yeah,not all bad comments,but thats possibly only one of a few..
Last edited by snailonvalium : 14-07-2011 at 09:16 PM.
Reason: spelling!
Is there an "Appropriate" things to say thread? Maybe it wouldn't be helpful for people who cut, but for people like me who want to help, I'd love to read about it.
Surprisingly; "you look so much better now" makes me feel worse. I wouldn't say that it's an inappropriate things to say but the comment causes me to feel guilty and like the only reason they think this is because I've got to much better at hiding it.
Also, "to be honest, I'd rather you were smoking"... from my Head of Sixth Form last year. He said some lovely things to be and was really nice and patient but I'm not quite sure what to think about that one.
My mom make the smoking comment once when i relapsed. She has just found out that I smoked too... She made the suggestion that maybe I go out and smoke if I got the urge to hurt myself because she thought smoking would relax me and calm me down. I saw it as her trying to give me a suggestion on how to keep from doing it.
I was at home with a phone repair guy fixing our line. I was just out of hospital and feeling quite vulnerable. He saw the scars on my wrists and asked how I got them. I told him I had depression and had hurt myself before my recent stay as an inpatient. His response:
"Well, see, I don't believe in depression. It's a mindset. I had cancer - now that's a real illness. You just need to be grateful for your health."
I sat there speechless. I wasn't even safe from hurtful comments in the safety of my own home. :(
"She had the perpetual sense, as she watched the taxi cabs, of being out, out, far out to sea and alone; she always had the feeling that it was very, very, dangerous to live even one day." (Virginia Woolf, Mrs Dalloway)
When I first told my mother, she said "Well I'm going to do it too, and I'll do it better, I'll cut my whole arm off." which scared me because she was actually semi-serious about that(she's struggling with depression)
She also said that if I had a boyfriend(and sex) I wouldn't want to do it any more.
I've also been asked by random people if it's "a goth thing". No, thank you, I was SI-ing before I went goth & these two things have nothing to do with each other.
Also people who don't know that I SI, see my dark clothes and ask "Are you a cutter?" ... Good that everyone can see it!
I'm an electric wire, if the sun can radiate
then so can I!
(Darling Violetta - Awesome)
Someone said to me " Well you either do it for attention or to kill yourself so which is it? "
When I first met my CPN she said " what if you have kids and they think 'well Mommy cuts so I will too' "
She also said " A man wouldn't give you another glance if he saw your scars "
A Doctor and A&E on treated a self injury wound said " It needs sutures but I'm not going to do it because cutters just cut them out " So he just steri stripped it, it didn't heal well at all.
I get so sick and tired of people making stupid hurtful comments.
"YOU'RE EMO!" When somebody saw my (very few at the time) scars.
I absolutely hate that term and stereotype with a passion, and anyone who deliberately tries to be 'emo' by self harming. I swear it's one of the main culprits for misunderstanding of self harm! I don't even LOOK 'emo'.
"I can't believe you're 24 and still a goth. Oh well at least you're not one of those pathetic self harmers." Que drink over head and no second date.
"It's not that bad compared to..." Dude I cut myself, how can it not be that bad?
My mum screaming and shouting at me one night and throwing everything I've ever told her back in my face, and while taking the mickey out of me came out with the gem of "I tried to hurt myself." Tried? TRIED?? Well safe to say I'm never telling you anything again in my life. Ever.
"I just wish I had a magic wand to make it all go away." Well you could always take this stick and... never mind. I know they're only trying to make me feel better, but it's really patonising. Especially when it came after the rant mentioned above.
"Why don't you hit your pillow instead ?" (my doc when I went to her because of an infection)
Maybe because it doesn't work for me.
"Stop that, I don't want the cops on my door because someone thinks I'm abusing you." (my mother, the first time she saw my scar)
Yeah, right, thank you very much, Mum, you were so helpful.
"It's sick, you do it because you like it, I don't even want to try to understand."
My mother, a few years later.
"They're talking about self-harm."
With a look that pretty much summed up how disgusting she thought it was. Very nice when you self-harm yourself.
-- English is not my mother-tongue, so I apologize for any spelling/grammar mistake --
A lot of the things posted before are sooo rude :|
I hate it when people (who know about my self harm) talk to others and say stuff like: "oh... he/she should go cut themselves" .... or the whole cutting is for emo's thing :S
