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Contains sexual abuse - Confused
So ever since I was about 8 I have not been able to stand being touched by people. Like, I get urges to scratch my skin off if someone touches me. Everyone's always been asking me if I've been raped or abused and I've always answered no, but last night when I was talking to a friend she pointed out several incidents that may have caused this.
1) When I was 5 and my brother was diagnosed with autism, my parents were very upset and angry all the time and they did a lot things they wouldn't normally do. (ex: my mom slapped me so hard that the chair I was sitting in was knocked over and I hit the wall) I was terrified of my father (I still kind of am actually) and I don't really know why exactly because I don't remember that time so well.
2) When I was 8 there was a boy my age who decided he wanted to have sex with me. Even though I repeatedly said no, he pushed me against a wall and started humping me. Also at that age, my cousin forced me to get naked so he could stare at me. He kissed me and told me that he wanted to have sex with me. Is it possible to be sexually abused by a child? Because I know that if adults did these things it would be considered abuse but since it's children I don't know. Why was I surrounded by so many perverted kids???
3) In middle school I was bullied a lot. There was one kid who would get other kids to punch me while he told me that I was crazy and no one would ever love me.
So, anyways my friend thinks my fear of being touched came from these things, particularly number 2. I never mentioned any of this to my therapist when I had one and now I don't see her anymore (we never got anywhere with the therapy anyways). My friend says that if I talked about these things someone might be able to help me learn how to be okay with touching people. I don't know.... I just want to know if I was abused or not.
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