im 17 years old and currently in a massive bipolar attack where i get significantly worse everyday. Ages ago I gave my bipolar a name to help me deal with it as i can fight something i can visualize, but recently my depression has been 'talking' to me, telling me lies about my other half like he doesn't want me, doesn't love me, im not good enough for him, he's cheating on me etc. I also have panic attacks that he's dead or i'll never ever see him ever again, which is also untrue because in time i will, does any one know a way to stop this happening because its getting out of hand and destroying me slowly.
I also feel constantly exhausted where everything no matter how small takes a huge effort to do, this is probably to do with my anorexia and the fact my appetite is dropping because of the bipolar attack, i also have been getting memory loss and feelings like im just causing everyone trouble and would be better off dead. My best friend and partner are doing all they can, my best friend made me promise not to kill myself but my partner doesn't know because it would hurt him too much and i dont want to hurt him anymore, plus he once said that if i died he would 'kick the bucket soon after because although I could carry one, I wouldn't want to'. He also has problems of his own that i dont want to add to, but then i feel bad because he doesn't know the full truth.
Everythings just so confusing and i've begun imagining hurting or killing myself again which i haven't done for ages. im on the tipping point and when i cant get through to my partner because his phone has decided to break once again i begin loosing the plot...
Any one know a way to find sanity again?
.gif "rose")
