I like to think it would've been a girl.
I would've called her Aimee Innatrie Whiting (cruel middle name, but it wouldve meant something to me and the father..)
She would've been 2 weeks old today.
I hate that I can't talk to anybody about her.
I don't even know what I'd say if I could.
*holds you* Hun, definitely talk about this as much as you can. I don't know the circumstances, but you need to grieve...its healthy, but bottling things up inside isn't. There are people to talk to; friends, family, doctors, support groups, counsellors... There are people who have been through similar experiences as you and can offer you some empathy and support.
You need support around you at a time like this. RYL is always here for you, but real life support is good too.
Why don't you write a letter to Aimee?
I don't really know what else to say. I hope you grieve, talk this through with someone, and take good care of yourself.
Stay safe
xo
Thankyou for your hugs and word.
circumstances are...i had a miscarriage earlier on in the year...i couldnt tell my family i was even pregnant at the time, they wouldnt have been supportive, i was too young to have a baby anyway, im 20 and just going into my final year at uni..i couldnt have coped. i was going to have a termination, although that was the last thing i wanted. i wanted to keep her, but knew i couldnt. but then i had a miscarriage instead...my doctor almost laughed and said 'well that makes things easier doesnt it?'. i had to spend several days in hospital over my birthday from severe blood loss from the miscarriage. when i was going to have the termination, i was told that i had to have counselling after it, but then when i had the miscarriage, no one said anything bout counselling...it was assumed that because i was not going to keep her, that i didnt want her, and so didnt need the counselling.
I spoke with the father of the baby a lot at the time, but its difficult to now...hes just a friend, it happened after a drunken night at christmas, and im not entirely sure where we stand with him anymore, hes in iraq at the moment too. i cant talk to my friends about it, they assume im over it, and didnt approve of the whole situation anyway, as the father of aimee was not my fiancee...this just makes me seem even worse of a person now. i told my fiancee that i was pregnant, but never told him it was his, he just assumed naturally. i cant talk about any of this to him, cos tbh he found it a relief that shes not with us today, as he wasnt ready for a baby yet, and is now in germany for a year. as i said, i cant talk to my friends about it, as they really disapproved of the situation...it wasnt like i planned it tho..it wasnt my fault..i dont remember a thing of that night. im not good at asking for help, it took me 5 years to pluck up the courage to see a dr about my depression, i didnt get on with my therapist, and i cant face asking to see a counsellor.
i guess it is all my fault...i should just get over myself and get help, but i cant, im too scared to. im just a bad person anyway, i guess this whole thing is just karma...
I'm so sorry!! I can very much relate to how you feel. It is a very difficult thing to go through. I am so sorry that you had to experience this but know that you are not alone and things just take time to heal. Maybe do you have one good friend who you could just say, "Look I'm really not over this, its been difficult for me for a long time do you think we could just talk?" Remember that you are not alone. Stay strong!
hey huni.
im so sorry you are going through this...i myself have had a miscarrige so i know what you are going through *holds you tight*
please keep talking. it helps.
im here for you anytime you need to talk.
maybe you could talk to a trusted tutor at uni?
pm me anytime if you need to talk.
lisa xx
What progress, you ask, have I made? I have begun to be a friend to myself.
What about getting a teddy for her too? She may not be with you now, but that doesn't mean she can't have her first teddy; and you can hug that teddy and those hugs will be just for her.
There are some links [here] too, that may be of help to you just now.
I have experienced similar things and I know its hard to talk to people.
Can you talk to the father if not there are specialized helplines for those dealing with loss.
Write a letter to Aimee a poem, you could buy her flowers a teddy plant a tree or a little cross.
Just go to a friend if you can and have a hug you need not say anything.
You can always talk to people here as much as you want even if it's just to rant out.
0800 028 2228
Last edited by Minty : 25-09-2007 at 07:21 PM.
Reason: went squiffy
But I being poor have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet ; tread softly as you tread on my dreams.
We are all in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars.
