My mom found out. Freaking out. *possibly triggering*
Hey guys. I'm new here. I just joined because it seems like my life is about to be completely over.
So I've been cutting for about 2 years now. It's not a regular thing; maybe every month or so, but a couple of months ago I was really upset and now I have maybe 5 scars on my wrist. About 6 months ago, my mom found out that I had cut myself and made me show her the fresh cut. I told her that it was the first time and that I would never do it again... I lied.
A couple nights ago, I cut myself, and today, she caught me alone and said that she had spotted a bandage on my wrist. Basically, now she knows that I lied and she is really worried. She might tell my dad soon, too, and I REALLY don't want him to know. I've already dissappointed her, so I don't want someone else close to me to know. Now, she wants to call the doctor and set me up to see a shrink. I feel like my life is falling apart. I'm so ashamed. For the last 2 years my worst fear has been for people to find out about this, and now it seems like EVERYONE is going to know... And I have no idea how to tell her why I do it. I'm not really depressed, I actually love my life. So I don't really have a reason...
Just relax a bit. Its hard for everyone at first. I was petrified when my dad found out bout me cutting myself. The doctor will only help you. There is a reason behind the si though, always is a reason to it and this doctor and your mom and possibly your dad if he finds out only want to help.
But... also welcome to RYL. Great people here and hope you find it helpful. Feel free to pm me if ever need or want.
Just remember that they love you and want to help you. Hurts others when we do this to ourself.
These kicks take me far away my dear; Far away from myself Far away from my troubles
Far away from heaven
Maybe find some facts about self harm and print it out for her?
Also, talking to a counselor about it isn't a bad thing at all. I have a counsellor and I LOVE her. She really helps. Dont feel ashamed, you can be strong and you are not a bad person. Sometimes people need to know, but it doesn't make them love you less. You can pm me if you need to. My family found out and trust me, it wasn't easy.. but my mom is really supportive.
You CAN do this! :) I believe in you.
how are you doing? i know i was so scared when my mom found out (i'd gone to get help on my own, and they ended up having to call my parents for various reasons) and i completely didn't want my dad to know, but my mom said that this wasn't a secret we could keep..... it really did end up ok though. it was rough at first, but pretty soon things were pretty normal. and seeing a doctor was really good. i can't say that everything was going up from the time they found out, but them knowing and the help i got slowed my fall down alot and then helped me back up again. your parents knowing really isn't the end of the world or as bad as it seems.
this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
Thanks guys. I'm just worried that my dad will see me differently, because I know my mom already does. I also told my mom that I'd be okay with seeing someone, so hopefully that might help.
The thing is, I don't really want to stop... I'm only considering getting help to make my mom feel better, not for me :/
Maybe think of this as a good experience. I know first hand that self harm can be an addiction but you do know it's not healthy, so maybe your counsellor will really help you. You are doing the right thing. :)
Speaking to someone can really help you find the reason behind it as well. When I was in the process of stoppig I went to see a counsellor and found myself talking about all sorts of stuff that had been bothering me and pulling my mood down for years that I hadn't even thought about as problems. Make the most of having someone to talk to about it even if your main reason for going is to keep your parents happy.
Good luck with your parents, they will only want to help you. They may well see you differently to begin with but only because they are worried baout you, you're their 'little girl' after all. Talking to them about si and trying to explain it to them might help them understand how best to help you.
Everyone needs someone to lean on, so lets stand in a circle and all lean on each other. That way no one will fall down.
I know it seems so scary when your secret is out but please believe me that your mum is just worried because she cares for you. She probably doesn't kknow what to think right now (good idea to print off info for her) and maybe telling your dad would give her someone to talk to about it as well (and yourself) Going to therapy for self harm really really helped me in the past (although I think I need it again now), it's really ncie to have the space to focus on yourself and counsellors make you feel really good about yourself. If you do go to one, no one needs to know. Try to think of this as a way to get finally get help. Oh and welcome to RYL!
you might not think it but this is a good thing that they no. self harm is highgly addictive and i no that you havent been doing it very frequently but seriously it can get a lot worse. try and speak to your mum if you can she is only worried about you darling as she doesnt want to see you hurt yourself
I just wanted to say I know how you feel. I was terrified when my Dad found out as well. I was felt so horrible that my secret was out, but gradually things got better. Like others have said, seeing a counselor can be very beneficial. I see one and I really like her and find she helps tremendously. Speaking with a counselor can also help you find out why you SI. As stated before, there is a reason for SI even if we don't know it yet. I was like you; I wasn't depressed and liked my life, so I didn't know why I cut. You'll find out why you self-harm eventually. Just give yourself time.
