Lately, all I’ve been doing is sleeping. Sleeping and not socializing or moving. I don’t want to touch people, or be around people, or even think about people. I have 4 pets, and all they do is annoy me now, and I want them gone. I can’t risk going outside, the place I LOVE, because I don’t want people seeing me, or talking to me, or just because I don’t want to move and do anything. People who I talk to all of the time, still can’t make me happy. I have no “Past Success” to look on. I don’t believe I’ve done anything important. I guess that is my problem, not feeling important. And I do understand people won’t remember me a million years from now. I just want to feel important NOW, and frankly, I’m not. This has been going on for about three weeks, and for the first two weeks all I did as sleep and eat, now its week 3 and all i do is sleep and don't eat. My friend says it's not really depression, and my other friend laughed and directed me here. If this is not real depression, I don;t know what is. I had thoughts about suicide and cutting, but because its only Mild I think, I didn't follow through with either. I actually tried cutting only once, but it didn't work out. I've felt this way before, so I guess you could say its been going on for about a year now. More recently, like within the past 4-5 months, I've just randomly cried. I just, don't know what to do. I feel miserable, and I can't tell anyone because I don't want to get laughed at. I live in a very cynical community; I can't even tell my parents without them laughing.. I can't move away because I'm only sixteen, I don't want to drive any where. I don't know what else to say, it feels like I've said all I needed, but have so much left to tell. This website was really a push for me, considering I'm not up to socializing.
Thank you, so much. I can't visit a doctor because I would need to contact my parents and ask them to take me. I just, can't deal with that. But still, thank you for caring. :)
*cuddles*
maybe try to push yourself to do something nice each day? firstly so you get up and do something, and second so you can try to enjoy a little bit at a time? maybe a nice long bath, or watching a funny movie, or listening to some uplifting music? i know it an be hard to find the motivation to do these things when you feel so low, but sometimes that little push can help.
Sometimes it is easier to hide where noone knows who you are.
It is hard but just try and take 1 step at a time and try to go and socialise or just get out it should.really help as being stuck inside can really get to you, but you should feel a bit better.
Thanks for all your support guys <3 Right now, I'm trying, I'm having a sleepover with one of my friends. But it's not working. I still feel like crying, and I still feel alone. I guess it helps a little, but I can't help but still feel so... sad.
It definitely sounds like depression to me, and I'm sorry people aren't taking your feelings seriously.
It's really good you pushed yourself to have a sleepover, and I agree with what's been said about trying to do a little more. It won't feel easy,and you won't necessarily enjoy things as much as if you weren't depressed but it's something to build on.
If you do nothing at all you risk getting into a viscious circle where you get depressed about that, and spend all your time introspecting about how bad things are. A degree of distraction is good. Eating regularly, even if you don't feel like it is another key thing you can do to help yourself.
It does worry me a little the way you seem to view cutting. Please don't get the idea from this site that self-harm is the usual way to react to serious emotional pain. It's not. It's good you didn't follow through on the thoughts - keep it that way. It doesn't show that your depression is only "mild" though.
Carry on posting about how things are if it's helpful to let it out.
xx
Thanks alot :) I tried for like, four days and I was doing fabulously! Then- downfall. It didn't even creep up on me so I expected it, it was just a wave that crashed into me. I was just going out with my parents and a friend when I burst out crying. They didn't see because I had sunglasses on and looked towards the window. How do I just feel so worthless all of a sudden? I was doing so good, and then **** ME. My self worth for myself literally was at a good 50% and then it probably dropped into the negatives, if that's even possible. I don't understand... just WHY?
Dear Nerdfighters, I have no idea how many of you there are out there, but if there are any- you, John, and Hank, have helped me through this and made me feel so much better. Thank you Nerdfighters, and thank you Vlogbrothers. I may not be 100% now, but I'm getting there, and you guys will be helping me along the way. You are so important, and as always; DFTBA :)
"Be strong things will get better, it may be stormy now but it can't rain forever."
depression is strange like that. We've been there before too. Some still are.
I agree with the post from above about telling your doctor how you feel. antidepressants can help very much.
good luck and feel better soon.
I just don't know how to tell anyone, who would sign the papers and stuff at the doctor, without them laughing or saying I'm insane.
Dear Nerdfighters, I have no idea how many of you there are out there, but if there are any- you, John, and Hank, have helped me through this and made me feel so much better. Thank you Nerdfighters, and thank you Vlogbrothers. I may not be 100% now, but I'm getting there, and you guys will be helping me along the way. You are so important, and as always; DFTBA :)
"Be strong things will get better, it may be stormy now but it can't rain forever."
Noone is going to tell you you are insane because you are depressed. the fact is, your drs see this stuff everyday. 1 in 4 people suffer with some sort of mental health problem. thats a lot of people!
Sometimes it is easier to hide where noone knows who you are.
That is alot of people! Maybe I will tell my parents, who knows.
Dear Nerdfighters, I have no idea how many of you there are out there, but if there are any- you, John, and Hank, have helped me through this and made me feel so much better. Thank you Nerdfighters, and thank you Vlogbrothers. I may not be 100% now, but I'm getting there, and you guys will be helping me along the way. You are so important, and as always; DFTBA :)
"Be strong things will get better, it may be stormy now but it can't rain forever."
I kinda know where your coming from. I've been anxious around people most of my life. I noticed I was probably depressed around the start of high school but didn't know what to do. I had a few "friends" I guess but no one I would consider myself close with. Spent most of my time alone and inside my house. I can only suggest you try to go to the doctors. They really can help you even if you think they can't. I only recently started on meds but its helping me cope. I wish you well and hope you feel better.
I remember all the times I've felt like that... Not a fun situation, I know.
My advice would be to try and get outside a little, but if you're not up to people contact yet, try just taking a walk in an area where there aren't many people, just by yourself? Getting outside and seeing the sunshine makes my internal mindset a little bit lighter. Maybe it would help you. After all, everything seems a little bleaker when you're stuck inside all day.
