i finally did it. i took the blade that i carry with me where ever i go and gave it to a friend today. i told her to get rid of it so i did not have it to carry around anymore. i have been carrying a blade around with me for eighteen years now and i was finally able to hand it over.
i still have a couple of blades left at my apartment, but i am taking it one step at a time. i thought that it would be best if i got rid of the blade that i carry everywhere. that way it will be harder for me to si if i am anywhere but my apartment.
it feels like such an achievement.
it has been seven weeks since i have given in to any self harm behaviors. seven weeks! i have never in the eighteen years of self harming gone that long.
i think i might be done with it for good this time!!!
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. ~ Girl Interrupted
I hurt myself before others get the chance...
I hurt myself because others hurt me and I can't stand the pain...
To tell the truth, I'm afraid of recovery because it means I have to let go...
Wow, that's awesome!! It's been a few weeks for me, but I'm definitely not ready to give away the one I carry around with me...
I'm sharing in your joy and in your hope and I am very proud of you. I know we don't know each other, but feel free to PM me if it gets difficult...
Also, I like what you said about taking it one step at a time. Once, I tried basically "cold turkey" and taking each step all at once. It was difficult, more difficult than it ever had to be. Make sure to pace yourself and don't push yourself too hard. You're doing something great!! So be nice to your brain and yourself and respect the changes you're making! =]
Take care!
With Hope,
Morgan
**Formerly 11.13.2006**
I cry, "Father, Father, forgive me!"
You say, "Child, I already have."
...I'm the guilty thief that's hanging by your side,
And my shame is dying with your sacrifice.
And all my fears come crashing down as I look in your eyes - I see paradise.
Hallelujah! You are beautiful redemption. -Joy Williams
i used to be that way...could not go for more than a day without harming. but these past couple of months, i finally got really fed up with harming. i do not want to do it anymore. that is what is driving me to continue on...
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. ~ Girl Interrupted
I hurt myself before others get the chance...
I hurt myself because others hurt me and I can't stand the pain...
To tell the truth, I'm afraid of recovery because it means I have to let go...
Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
