Okay, well cheerleading tryouts are tomorrow, and I really want to try out, but I don't know if I should because we can't wear lon sleeves and I'm terrified of people seeing my arms.
And then I think to myself, "It's okay. You won't do it anymore." But then I realize how much that thought scares me. I realize how hard it's going to be. I don't know if I can do it.
So, please, if anyone has had anything that helped them to stop self harming, can you please tell me what helped you? If not, can you please give me some alternatives to self harming?
Well done for writing this, and I want to say - you CAN do it. You can do ANYTHING if you put your mind to it :)
I don't want to make this about me, but it's kind of easier to illustrate the point if I bring my experiences into it :P
When I tried to stop, I spoke to my head of sixth form. He was wonderful, and he gave me a few tips of advice you may find helpful.
It takes roughly 40 days to break a habit. Don't aim for all 40 all at once - you'll give up within the first four days because it's hard to aim for something as far away as that. First set yourself a small target - like three days. Then once you've managed that, set a five day target, then a week, then two weeks and so on. You will probably find the first two weeks the hardest - I certainly did - but it starts to get easier after that. If you struggle and end up SH-ing don't give up, just re-start the count from day one with the same baby-step targets.
You'll find it easier if you have someone to talk to while you're doing this - and if you have someone, then tell them you're aiming for 40 days clean. It'll make it easier knowing someone else knows what you're trying to do. You could also give yourself a reward for each target you meet - like after the first three days, go shopping or to the cinema with friends or something.
When I did it, I also had a distraction which also ended up being an alternative. I went swimming every time I had an urge and swam and swam until I couldn't any more. It exhausted me to the point that I didn't want to do it any more, but it also made me feel good about myself because I'd achieved something - 173 lengths is my record :P AND it's also keeping yourself fit and healthy at the same time. If you can't swim, then try running or tennis, or dance or something similar.
Also, if you find yourself in the situation where you're looking at what you use to SH - MOVE. Get yourself OUT of that situation. Go running/swimming/dancing/whatever. Do push-ups on your bedroom floor. Take a bath. Call the friend. Whatever, just MOVE. Because the longer you stay looking at what you use, the more likely you are to give in. As my head of sixth form said - "If you place a bottle of wine in front of an alcoholic, recovered or not, eventually they'll pick it up and drink it; putting them back to square one." Don't put yourself into that situation, it'll only make things seem worse.
Obviously, I would recommend getting more professional help as well - a counsellor or GP as well, but I can understand why you may not want to go. Although they really, really can help. So if you can - go :)
In regards to the cheer leading - go for it. 100%. Don't let SH stop you, or rule your life :) Sometimes covering the scars up with make up can make them a little less noticeable, but don't do it if the scars are relatively new because you'll only end up infecting them >.<
I can give alternatives to SH, but please try something else first. You can always private message me :) I always have my BlackBerry on me, so I check RYL fairly frequently :P
My thoughts are with you,
Dyson.x.
Last edited by Snakebite : 03-06-2011 at 12:45 AM.
Reason: Forgot to write something :P
Thanks so much for all the info! And I guess I'll do cheerleading, because it's my favorite thing ever. And as for teh makeup, I've tried it, but it only hides a little bit.
And I don't want to get a counselor or anything, because I don't want my parents to know and send me off to rehab or something. But thanks so much anyway!
You're more than welcome, I hope the try outs go well. let me know, yeah? :)
I'm afraid I don't know any of the rules for the US, but I know them inside out for the UK xD I know here they (counsellors, GP's) cannot tell your parents if you don't want to - as long as you do not pose a risk to yourself.
But if that isn't an option, seriously - confide in a friend. Chances are you'll want to talk to someone at three in the morning when you feel like ***** and you can't get out the house xD (If this does happen and you don't have any one try watching a really good movie :P)
I wish you all the best. I know from personal experience it can be difficult but GOD is it worth it at the other end!!
That makes me want to live in the UK so much haha. But sadly I live in the US, and if you tell a guidance couselor, it's a law that they have to tell your parents.
first of all well done for wanting, and noticing that stopping would be good, for you.
i know nothing about cheerleading, they don't have it in colleges i've been to. but anything making you want to stop is absolutely awesome. really. really wanting to stop helps alot.
i have to wear long sleeves all the time, it sucks. its do-able, but it sucks.
can you wear long sleeves for now?
if your scars are real bad, and old, you can get referred to a skin camoflage specialist, by your GP. they will make a special skin make up and teach you how to apply it then you buy it like a presciption from the chemist.
worth a go right?
xx
Haha yeah, but if I go to a scar specialist then I would have to tell my parents about it. Right?
And yeah, I can wear long sleeves and bracelets for now, since I'm in track. But when cheerleading season sarts, we're not allowed to wear bracelets or long sleeves. So I guess I'm kinda screwed.
