Here's the thing, I never know how to tell them how to back of nicely. I flip out, I smash windows, I become this wild horrible creature.
I feel the same as yesterday, maybe I little worse, I went out to touch my "tool". I almost took some of it with me. And I SIed on my arm. I know that's bad because when I'm not suicidal, I'm scared of that. I don't think I can actually tell them. I can't ruin their bliss. I know I won't use my "tool" tonight. Well, I hope anyway.
I just feel like I'm stuck in this hell of not knowing if I'm real or if things around me are real. I play with my nephew and I feel so guilty for having these thoughts when I have him to love and look after. But I can't help it. If I was dead I wouldn't have these thoughts and worries. I can't do that to everyone. But I just, just can't do this anymore. I need to know I'm safe and everyone around me is safe, but you can't guarantee that.
im still not too good , going to a self harm group to day pm , then to the hospital if no better dont think i could go alone going to see if my good friend will go with me
TheQuietOne...Good that you went to the hospital. If necessary. If the doctors that know you arent there, maybe ask to see when they will be at the hospital?
Sorry, low on words, still. As for me... doing ok? Didnt sleep much last night, as usual though.
These kicks take me far away my dear; Far away from myself Far away from my troubles
Far away from heaven
I have insomnia and its from my past. Never sleep well, well... rarely do. And medication isnt an option, at least prescribed meds. Most overcounter stuff cant take either. Even though I dont sleep at night, Im not tired during day. I only complain about it because while waiting to fall asleep, I get bored. My only problem, being bored. Sounds pathetic.
These kicks take me far away my dear; Far away from myself Far away from my troubles
Far away from heaven
Medical 'concerns'/ precautions. If you have any further questions, feel free to ask but if you do, I would prefer you to pm them, please and thank you.
Last edited by Frail Existence : 20-05-2011 at 02:44 PM.
Reason: changed what I said
These kicks take me far away my dear; Far away from myself Far away from my troubles
Far away from heaven
*HUGS mum24* Here for a reason. Thats why you were born. Why everybody is. Different reasons for everyone. I can totally relate to everything you are saying. Call someone and talk? Write it all out? kinda low, still :( Sorry you feel this way. And you arent a failure! Just because things arent going right, doesnt make you a failure. To me, you can and will never be a failure!
These kicks take me far away my dear; Far away from myself Far away from my troubles
Far away from heaven
I never had the guts to go to the hospital. I don't feel I can go on my own. I was gonna myers but she had to see her cpn. Spent the night with my brother I still feel low just wanna go to sleep and never wake up. I can't seem to sleep. I've been like this for mealy 3 months now
Spoke to my worker this afternoon and she suggest me see a doctor at the surgery on Monday I'm also seeing my out reach worker on Monday
Dawnie... Should for sure listen to your worker. Really cant hurt at all to do so.
As the minutes pass, feeling less and less numb and more like this. Just wondering how much will i feel tonight and tomorrow like this? To what point am I going to reach? Dont wanna find out. Dont wanna feel anything. Not even good. Just wanna go neutral
*hugs for all*
These kicks take me far away my dear; Far away from myself Far away from my troubles
Far away from heaven
