I'm all for a more open RYL, as I'm sure you know by now. This thread is giving more people the opportunity to voice their opinion on the subject, when they many not have felt comfortable posting it in that thread and further derailing it. Having a thread like this gives everyone the opportunity to have a say, including the mods, who have said that the more graphic ones are too much.
Would posting a thread each time we report something to discuss it be a wise idea, in your opinion, then?
& if the mods have said the more graphic ones are too much... why are we even talking about it?
Would posting a thread each time we report something to discuss it be a wise idea, in your opinion, then?
& if the mods have said the more graphic ones are too much... why are we even talking about it?
No, of course not. But in this case I felt it might be more beneficial than discussing it on the thread itself. Especially when the same thing has happened before.
I'm not even saying anything should be done about it, this was more just to gauge some sort of general consensus as to what is/isn't wanted. What the mods do or not do is up to them.
Sammi I was saying you had a really good reason. As in... It's a good reason for the pictures to not be there.. it wasn't a go at you.
It was supporting you.
Oh, oh I see now. The arrow up was pointing at your reply sammi - not chels - we just posted at the same time.
It should read ("See now, Sammi, Jo, what you said was legitimate reasoning").
Sorry for the misunderstanding Aimee, but thank you for clarifying.
No, of course not. But in this case I felt it might be more beneficial than discussing it on the thread itself. Especially when the same thing has happened before.
I'm not even saying anything should be done about it, this was more just to gauge some sort of general consensus as to what is/isn't wanted. What the mods do or not do is up to them.
Surely if the mods wanted public opinion on what to do about a certain matter (like the new ED forum rules), they'd ask?
I'm not meaning this as a personal attack, I am just really struggling to understand the point of this thread.
I'm pretty sure the ED forum rules were sparked by normal member opinions in the first instance. I don't understand why not to have this thread, or the one on swearing or the frequent ones about cliques or Chat or anything else. Why should everything have to come from the mods, or even from the CT? Why not post a question to gauge opinion on something?
Like I said, I'm not expecting anything to come from this thread in terms of mod action, but that doesn't have to be the result of every thread.
Claire I don't mean to have a go at you here, I'm just wondering why gain an opinion if you don't expect anything to come from a thread in terms of mod action?
Claire I don't mean to have a go at you here, I'm just wondering why gain an opinion if you don't expect anything to come from a thread in terms of mod action?
I believe she was saving the "you and your significant other" thread - as this had caused a lot of arguing and bithcing in thread.
I guess it was more relevant to move it away from somewhere thats suppose to be a distraction.
Would you enjoy it if some random member made a thread about your behaviour, for all & sundry to discuss, when the mods had already had their say on similar situations?
This is not gauging opinion on whether swearing is a good idea or not, or how people feel the support in chat is. This is a thread, talking specifically about two people (because let's face it, in all my years on RYL, this acc & beyond, I have only seen two or three people do it) & asking for the community to comment on their behaviour. That is not acceptable. That is practically bullying.
Yes I find it irritating, but I wouldn't start a thread pointedly about two people (& you can't deny it IS about these two people, where else have you seen such photos?) asking the community to discuss it WHEN THE MODS HAVE ALREADY MADE AN OPINION.
Claire I don't mean to have a go at you here, I'm just wondering why gain an opinion if you don't expect anything to come from a thread in terms of mod action?
This thread was a way to divert the discussion from that thread, which was getting personal and rather petty in its replies. Calling people homophobes and the like isn't going to help a discussion. Neither is the attitude of "it's a support site therefore you cannot disagree with something I do" which is banded around a lot. Someone should be allowed to say an opinion, whether that is for or against something, and they should be able to feel able to do so without fear of being called haters or homophobes or anything else.
What the mods do is up to them, but how are they to really know the opinions of members if things aren't brought up? Not everyone is going to report things, because on its own it might seem a bit daft, whereas a public thread might encourage someone who thought it was only them to also speak up.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stop! Hammer Time
Why leave it to the mods?...
Would you enjoy it if some random member made a thread about your behaviour, for all & sundry to discuss, when the mods had already had their say on similar situations?
This is not gauging opinion on whether swearing is a good idea or not, or how people feel the support in chat is. This is a thread, talking specifically about two people (because let's face it, in all my years on RYL, this acc & beyond, I have only seen two or three people do it) & asking for the community to comment on their behaviour. That is not acceptable. That is practically bullying.
Yes I find it irritating, but I wouldn't start a thread pointedly about two people (& you can't deny it IS about these two people, where else have you seen such photos?) asking the community to discuss it WHEN THE MODS HAVE ALREADY MADE AN OPINION.
The mods gave their opinion in this thread. Before that I didn't know what their opinion was. If they have posted it previously then I missed it.
This thread was sparked by the arguments caused by those pictures, and yes, it does tend to be the same members. However, the same arguments have occurred throughout that thread and I thought (obviously wrongly) that this might be a better way to figure something out, to save it from happening again and again.
Last edited by The One Who : 20-04-2011 at 04:14 PM.
I think it's really unfair that this thread is basically targeted at my girlfriend, let's face it, there was no problem until she posted photos of our time together (I'm ignoring her previous "relationship" in this).
And to clarify, there are NO photos of us "tonguing" each other on here.
I think some people need to man up and realise that you're existing in the real world here, you're going to see people kissing, you can't exactly escape that. Do you get "triggered" when you see people kissing on TV shows/films (fair enough if you do, just a question)? Does it bother you when people post pictures of their tongue piercings in the piercing/tattoo thread (yes, different situation I know)? As said, it's a thread to show off your significant other, of course there are going to be kissing photos. Personally, I like those sort of photos, I find them pretty cute. It's not like we take a photo every time we kiss, that would be ridiculous, but if we want to document our limited time together why shouldn't we be able to, and show each other off? *I* would get triggered if it actually was "pornographic" or there was groping etc but IMO the pictures Sar posted are perfectly acceptable and a lot of people need to just, basically (and I hate this phrase) get over it.
Indeed, why leave it to the mods? If one is doing something that is making people uncomfortable, and to take it one step further, starting to trigger some people, isn't it a good idea to have a vocal, open discussion about it? People are having the opportunity to have their say, and it's bringing to people's attention that there are members who feel really uncomfortable about these sorts of photos. It doesn't have to be a rule or set in stone, but it's a way for people to realise and acknowledge that there are some actions that they maybe have done or - more importantly - are thinking about doing that could cause others to feel very uncomfortable, without the need of mod action.
We don't need a rule about every single thing that people do - most of the time awareness, empathy and common sense are all that's needed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PixieRose
I think some people need to man up and realise that you're existing in the real world here, you're going to see people kissing, you can't exactly escape that. Do you get "triggered" when you see people kissing on TV shows/films (fair enough if you do, just a question)? Does it bother you when people post pictures of their tongue piercings in the piercing/tattoo thread (yes, different situation I know)? As said, it's a thread to show off your significant other, of course there are going to be kissing photos.
So, by your logic, as you can see cuts and scars in real life, should there be no warning about it on the site? And as there are people with eating disorders in real life, should we remove all of the ED trigger warnings, and rules against thinspiration? If you were to go into the 'whatareyouwearingtoday?' thread and saw fresh cuts, would you not be a little alarmed? I mean, it's a thread about showing your body/clothes, and this is an SI site, so naturally there will be people with fresh cuts - so by your rule, should we start to expect that in that thread too?
At the moment it is only a handful of members who are doing this, but if it is making people uncomfortable, surely it's better to nip it in the bud by a post just saying that it is making people uncomfortable, than to allow this issue to grow into something potentially a lot larger which does need to be enforced by rules? And also, since it's an issue that was hijacking another thread (which is against the rules, too), I don't see why it's a bad thing that it's been made into a thread. I understand the potential bullying aspect, but it's not as if it names names or indeed is only targeted at those people. Having an idea of the consensus views on topics like this can surely only aid future posts?
As it happens, I have no view on this as to whether or not it's appropriate. I just have to get involved in every debate :P
I didn't do anything apart from ask a simple question (generally speaking), but some people like getting personal into it all and making a big issue out of it !
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes." - W. Gibson.
I'm quite young here, and there are a few others, so try to see things from our point of view?
Personally, I have no problem with pictures of couples kissing. That is, closed-mouth kissing and maybe some innocent cuddling. But pictures with couples practically eating each others faces off, and licking and groping just makes me feel so uncomfortable. I like seeing pictures of happy couples, the happiness tends to be contagious to me. But there is a limit to how much I want to see, because after a certain point I just feel downright uncomfortable.
In my opinion, people who want to upload pictures that contain such things that might make others uncomfortable should put it in a hide box. Not everyone wants to see that sort of thing. Closed-mouth kissing should be okay, just use your judgement.
Genuinely, so I can understand more - can someone link me to these photos of licking & groping & eating each other's faces off? Would be much appreciated x
Honestly, doesn't really bother me.
Yes seeing people licking other people is a bit gross and cringey, (the phrase "get a room" springs to mind sometimes) but no big deal. Hide box might be an idea since people are obviously offended.
The photo's I like best on the Sig Other thread are the ones where couples look happy and natural together. Whether that involves kissing or not.
I'm in a long term relationship and honestly, once I tried to get a picture of us kissing because I thought it might look sweet/cute/funny. Actually it
just looked gross, and I missed half his head anyway. The effort involved in trying to take a picture just ruined the moment. So I can't see the point in posting kissing pictures unless they were spontaneous and/or taken by somebody else.
To me it just seems like an attempt to prove the relationship is working.
(not the point of the thread but I get more annoyed my mushy lovey dovey "we're so in love and will be forever" stuff...which is what kissing pictures seem to be trying to imply. Relationships do end, and I know I wouldn't like pictures of me and my boy kissing all over the internet if we broke up)
This discussion is getting quite distasteful, it is clearly about one poster, and that just doesnt seem fair. Almost bullying if you ask me. If people have a problem with an individual or thier posts/pics, surely reporting and contacting a mod is better than this. Sorry to moan.... And nothing on that thread is remotely pornographic.
This discussion is getting quite distasteful, it is clearly about one poster, and that just doesnt seem fair. Almost bullying if you ask me. If people have a problem with an individual or thier posts/pics, surely reporting and contacting a mod is better than this. Sorry to moan.... And nothing on that thread is remotely pornographic.
Its not about one member in particular, its about those types of threads in general.
Its just some people are taking it personally, becuase their photos are what sparked this thread.
