Jodie you really didn't deserve this and whatever you did, whatever choices you made that doesn't give anyone the right to do something against your will even if you had agreed and then said no it wouldn't have made it okay. No really does mean no and this situation isn't going to be made any easier by other things you are already dealing with but you need to keep telling yourself that this is not your fault and you have done nothing wrong even if you don't believe it right now.
You are a good person Jodie, there are lots of people wo care about you and want to help you already but if you ever need someone to talk to I am always here.
Jodie you really didn't deserve this and whatever you did, whatever choices you made that doesn't give anyone the right to do something against your will even if you had agreed and then said no it wouldn't have made it okay.
it was NOT youre fault, you are not to blame. Please reach out for the help you deserve. love xxxx
After all this has passed, i still will remain
After i've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
As I said on Facebook, I'm always here should you need to PM me (either via RYL or Facebook). I just want you to know that what he did was disgusting & that it was in NO WAY your fault. You said no.
Katie
x
"How can I be a gynecologist? I can barely look a woman in the eye!"
♥
Hard to say much about the situation because it looks like a mess from here. But you can't unscramble an egg so I would focus on minimising the damage and resist hating everything - including yourself.
“How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.”
I don't have any advice to offer, just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you.
I hope you are safe and that you can accept the help that people are offering you. You are worth it.
You survived the abuse.
You're gonna survive the recovery.
Oh Jodie, you have done nothing wrong. I know what you're feeling now is terrible but please try and keep yourself safe and give yourself the compassion you need right now. You didn't deserve this and it's not your fault. We are here for you<3
She was worried and has given me a crisis plan to get my through until monday (I go away for two days then) and see her Thursday. She asked if I wanted to see her before thurs but I said no, and I don't have the time.
I feel very suicidal. She's put on my notes that I feel that way and what happened so if I go to A&E over the weekend they will be aware as they share notes.
I have to go for a blood test and I don't want to as I've not eaten for a while and I don't know what the pills will show up. Probably nothing.
See this just proves to my head that being at a slightly higher weight (I was up a bit from eating too much since last thurs). means that bad things like this happen. *He* kept sayign my body was perfect and I should keep it like that even when katy was telling him to shut up. But fuck him I don't want to keep it in a way that makes him want to have sex with me when I said no. I don't want anyone to look at me that way. I want to starve off all that fat I've put on and make myself as disgusting on the outside as I am inside.
Last edited by Tears and Rain : 15-04-2011 at 06:01 PM.
Reason: Removed time length.
Jodie, it is NOT your fault in any way shape or form that this happened... Not at all. And your mind will try to twist it any way to make it seem your fault, but it really isn't. If this was someone else, you'd say it wasn't, though I know it's heck of a lot more difficult to see it that way, but it really is true; it's NOT your fault.
Please try to be gentle with yourself.
Love you so much sweet.
xxxx
I'm glad your therapist is reacting to your needs sweetheart, and I have to admit it I would like it if you did feel able to come down and stay with me next week to give yourself a bit of a break and also to have someone there to support you whenever you need it, although if you feel it would be detrimental I completely understand.
Are you still talking to your friends about it all, so they can help?
Also it really had nothing to do with your weight. Promise. He was just a douche.
'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'
['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']
'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell. Oscar Wilde
Its hard to dance with the devil on your back. Sydney Carter
Jodie,,,, I love you muchly & I need to repeat what everyone else has said, this or what happened before was not in anyway your fault, or Katys.
I love you both.
Please hang on, I'm sorry I'm rather useless at the moment, but I'm thinking of you both.
x
Hon your granddad getting ill, whilst unfortunate has nothing to do with everything else that is going on, and that is a promise. I'm so sorry hon, I know that despite the hurt he has caused you this must be devastating. What do you feel you need right now? If you are actively suicidal could you please either a) tell your friends b) go to A&E as your therapist suggested or c) poke me on facebook/on here and we'll chat over MSN.
'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'
['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']
'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell. Oscar Wilde
Its hard to dance with the devil on your back. Sydney Carter
I've BBMd you sweetie, and Skype times with me & Zar tomorrow night too(if of course you still feel up to it), so I really hope that'll make you smile too beautiful, you deserve to smile and be happy, even if right now it feels like hell to just breathe...
We're both here for you, remember what we said.
Talk to us when you feel ready to, but as Katy said, if you feel actively suicidal, please go to A&E, we're here for you, all of us on here and elsewhere, but if you are in danger, please go to A&E... None of us want to lose you.
Sending you very gentle, safe, warm hugs(Zar does too), and so much love.
xxxx
I'm so sorry you've experienced this Jodie, you didn't deserve any of this, it is certainly not your fault. People will try and shift blame and say it's because of clothing, the way someone wore their hair, the make up someone had on, how they behaved. But none of those would make things your fault, it doesn't matter what you did, how you dressed etc etc, you didn't consent so there's no way it can be your fault. I can understand you wanting to make the outside match the inside, I've felt the same too after something similar had happened to me. But things can get better for you, it's horrible when something like this happens to us, but hurting yourself more and making yourself suffer more from it doesn't seem like the right way to go.
'R' can happen between friends, spouses, strangers, sadly it's something that can stretch to many types of relationship. It's still non-consensual sex, doesn't matter what happened earlier in the evening.
Things won't always be this dark, it is possible to recover in spite of horrible things that happen.
Last edited by BridgesAndBalloons : 14-04-2011 at 05:18 PM.
Thank you so much guys. I'm trying to get myself to victoria station to have coffee with a friend. But I keep having to get off the bus coz of panic attacks. But I'm half way there I think. I will msn/ryl when I getback from the gym tonight. Trying to keep busy and just get to monday in one piece
![[LittleMonster]'s Avatar](image.php?s=2de9a2f56a9a7b53fe58fca62b62107c&u=13847&dateline=1376481098)
![[LittleMonster] is offline](images/ca_morpheus_blue/statusicon/user_offline.gif)
