a habit or...?

[butterflymom]

it use to be i would only cut if i were triggered by being angry, upset, or paniced....and it was a huge inner war of 'do i cut, or don't i' before i would actually give in.

then i got pregnant and i managed to not cut for 174 days (i also felt less depressed and didn't get as angry, etc while i was pregnant). but i messed up when my baby was about a month...i was stressed that night, but nothing like when i use to cut.

ever since i slipped up, it's been hard to stop. i tell myself 'i already cut x-amount of times, what's one more?' and i think it's just become an end-of-the-day habit...maybe it helps me relax or some kind of release before bed or when i get ready for my shower and i'm finally alone after a day of being home with two little ones? i know i don't NEED to cut, but the urge to do it is still there. i don't even try really hard to talk myself out of it anymore like i use to either.

does anyone else cut without being really 'triggered', but more out of habit? i'm finding it hard to get my motivation back to even stop....i keep thinking 'what's the point?'. *sigh*

[JumpingJellytots.xD]

You are not alone. I feel this way now is more off just a repetitive action like part of my daily routine.
There could be am underlying issue which you arent realising.. prehaps..

Btw.. 174 Days is amazing :D wow! you should be proud.

xx Wanna chat Pm me.

[perfecx]

that's how i first started. i just did it every couple of day at random. i wasn't sad or lonely or panicked i just did it as part of a routine i guess.

[Kitkat :)]

Yes, all too often I've just slipped into the routine of cutting. For a while I cut every morning before college, it was just like get up, have breakfast, get dressed, hair + make up, cut, go off to college.

Maybe its like taking drugs - at first its just a one off and then you come to rely on it more and more often, like a dependency thing.

Hope you're okay, and well done on the 174 days :)