Like, why not? *potential trigger*

erin654 · 26-02-2011, 01:21 AM

I've been feeling quite apathetic lately, unable to care about things or even get upset about things that used to bother me. But I've also had those episodes of depression.
When thinking about cutting, I figure "why not? just enough to draw some pretty blood and feel something"
And part of the reason I cut is so that other people can see what I'm feeling inside. Even though I do it where no one can see unless I'm lounging in skimpy clothes or my bath robe.

My dad doesn't know. And he's my primary mode of transportation. He takes me to appointments and therapy, etc. I can't ask him to take me to "Crisis" at my mental health building.
I can't go to a hospital because I have important commitments that I can't miss and I can't even afford special hospitalization.

So that's my thoughts. "Why not??"

erin654 · 26-02-2011, 06:06 AM

5 hours and 2 new cuts later, no hugs and no replies, no PMs. But 9 views besides my own?!
THANKS A TON SI SUPPORT! I'll think of you fondly when I get hospitalized!

lonely_hope · 26-02-2011, 04:35 PM

I'm very sorry we've neglected to reply and support you :( *BIG HUGS* You're not alone here

I've felt like that too... just when it doesn't feel worth it to not SI. Have you taken care of your wounds?

It sounds good that you're going to therapy- I sure hope that's helping you. Maybe you could tell him/her about what you're feeling next time you have an appointment.

I really wish there was something I could say to make things better :( Do you think you could come up with a list of reasons why not to self-harm? Like... "I don't want to go to the hospital," "It may hurt the others around me," "I don't want to have to hide the marks," etc.

*more hugs, and much love*

The One Who · 26-02-2011, 10:50 PM

Remember that this is mainly a UK-based site. You posted after midnight (UK time) when there are going to be less people online. If you feel that you need more urgent support there are other avenues such as RYL Chat or look outside of RYL to support phonelines like the Samaritans or similar. Or friends or family.

Your last paragraph seems to answer your question for yourself. You don't want to tell your dad, you can't afford the hospital treatment and can't go there anyway. Why not ask yourself what hurting yourself really achieves for you, what problems does it solve?

Horizon · 27-02-2011, 12:58 PM

Woah, you can't put the responsibility of you harming yourself on the people of a website. Maybe people didn't reply because they themselves were struggling. Maybe they had nothing to say. No one here is required to reply to any thread.
Frankly, your second post comes across as pretty manipulative and blaming, and that is certainly not going to help you get support in the future.

Emmabob. · 27-02-2011, 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Facet

Woah, you can't put the responsibility of you harming yourself on the people of a website. Maybe people didn't reply because they themselves were struggling. Maybe they had nothing to say. No one here is required to reply to any thread.
Frankly, your second post comes across as pretty manipulative and blaming, and that is certainly not going to help you get support in the future.

Celticroots · 27-02-2011, 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Facet

Woah, you can't put the responsibility of you harming yourself on the people of a website. Maybe people didn't reply because they themselves were struggling. Maybe they had nothing to say. No one here is required to reply to any thread.
Frankly, your second post comes across as pretty manipulative and blaming, and that is certainly not going to help you get support in the future.