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Triggering (SI) - Give up trying to quit...*rant*
I give up on trying to quit because every time i try i always end up relapsing and getting worse. so what is the point in trying if i am just going to get worse and not get better.....when ever i do attempt to quit it is because someone takes my blade so i am forced to, cold turkey and it is really hard to do.....screw quitting.....its my body no one elses so y do they care what i do to it, its not like im going to hurt others or anything like that, its just how i cope i dont understand how people dont understand y i do what i do....i mean really its just like drinking to feel numb or what not its not that different or weird....
i just think that people should mind their own business....if they claim that they are there for you when ever you need them, yet they blab and tell someone everything you tell them, even when they claim it will be a secret, how are you suppposed to trust them again and go to them when you actually need to talk to them?
i ****ing cant take this anymore, i am just going to give up and waste away.....i have started to notice that i am losing my appetite and that i dont have as much energy as i used to and i dont feel as well and all that nice ****.....i just hate feeling like this and its been going on for too long now and idk i just hit my breaking point.....enough is enough this has to end.....idk how.....idk when.....but it does, it just has to.....
to be honest i dont care if i die i dont care if i get hurt i dont care about my god damn safety, i dont see why its so important....i just want to be left alone but i never am....everyone is always like "Are you ok?" "How are you coping today?" "Feeling any better?" i dont like always answering the same questions over and over again especially to people who dont understand what it feels like to feel like this all the time......
i feel like this is the only place i can talk and even sometimes i dont feel like i should talk here cause i dont want to trigger anyone or make anyone feel worse than they already do or anything.....all i want is a little support and someone to lean on when i am feeling down, but this is the only place where i have something like that, and since this is the only place i feel like i am using it too much and asking for too much help and all that, please tell me if im right or wrong.....i want to know your opinions......
i ****ing give up....life can go **** its self.....sorry for my language i am in a very crummy mood....had way too much sugar and now im crashing....which isnt good when my mood has been so low this week....
>< >< i just cant take this **** anymore......please someone anyone just i need to talk to someone......live help is never on when i need it and chat is being annoying and not always working for me.....so it would be great if someone could let me talk to them.....sorry if im being a pain.......
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* Im sorry you are feeling like this. You are definately not a pain..Sorry i really dont know what to say at the moment..when im in a happier mood myself i will come back to this thread and try and reply to it then ok, I just wanted you to know i read it and i care.
