I want help but never accept it :(

lindonese · 07-02-2011, 10:33 PM

I tried stopping but I'm back where I started again. I'm doing it more often and everything is hurting me inside. I think I'm getting depressed and I'm sick of wearing this smiley mask all the time. Last friday I was offered help by my guidance teacher (who came to me first) and I covered everything up saying I was fine. I cried for about an hour afterwards because I'd just missed my chance to help myself. But whenever help is offered I panic and I get swamped by fear so I lie and pretend I'm fine.

I just want help but I'm too scared to say I need it.

[Desolation.] · 07-02-2011, 10:53 PM

its natural to be afraid hun x
allowing people to help you with such a personal thing is always going to be difficult.
you know you need the help, if you can get it then i hope you can try.
its not going to be quick and easy but you'll feel so much better when you have someone fighting your corner with you xxx

stay safe x

Gone. · 07-02-2011, 11:15 PM

You have no idea how much your post replicates my feelings and actions. It's hard, isn't it? I'm not sure what advice I can give you because I feel a bit hypocritical handing it out when it is something I struggle with. Have you ever thought about why you keep saying your fine (and it is that particular word which I use too, what is it about that word which seems to appeal to you?)? Maybe if you figured out why you keep resisting help, it will aid you in actually accepting it.

Take care.

Lucy2you · 08-02-2011, 01:38 AM

You should know by now that you're going to need outside help to get over this. Your guidance teacher must have noticed something, so why don't you go to her, and use the resources you have? Maybe to help things out, you could write her a letter to let her know that something is happening with you. It might not be the easiest thing, but perhaps you can get something out of this.

PassedExpectations · 08-02-2011, 02:54 AM

i'm pretty sure that your guidance councelor wouldn't be at all upset if you came back and asked her for support. my bet would be that she would be really proud of you for being able to take that step, it takes courage (which i know that you have, just maybe its hiding atm)....

you could send her a note or an email first if that would be easier

long road · 08-02-2011, 09:16 PM

reminds me of me.
I often want help but struggle to ask for it.
cant say it'll ever be easy, but when you pluck up the courage to ask even asking can help calm things down a little.

writing things down helps.
maybe knock on their door and ask for a chat and have a piece of paper with what you want to say / ask written down. if you cant talk hand them the paper. The paper written before hand can help stiop the lying and is easier than acgually saying the words but you have more control than a note cos you have the paper til you give it and you're there when they read it.

thinking of you,
Jen x