your not pathetic or selfish. i wish i had the guts to tell people how i feel. please dont kill your self you have a life that needs sorting out and you can be happy. you are the only person that doesnt care about you so please dont do anything.
pm me anytime x x x x
Maybe i should just keep everything to myself and not tell anyone. Its just i feel im annoying everyone. Oh i dont know anymore i give up! F**k it why try and fight through this! All i do is destroy other peoples lives aswell as mine and thats not fair. I dont feel i have anything left to try to fight through this anymore. I really dont. Might aswell give up! My life is destroyed anyway nothing left of it anymore.
I know things seem really hopeless at the moment but they won't be like this forever. Sometimes we just have to take a chance and hold on while things get better. It won't happen over night but with the right support and with you working on it too it will. Maybe its time you talked to your crisis team tho and maybe hospital is the right place for you atm. I know that can be a hard decision to make but if it helps get you through its worth it. Please don't give up you are so much better than that. May be a good idea to tell your crisis team about your small OD and the fact that you have started collecting pills. I know from personal experience that can be a hard thing to do but I know you can do it. Please reach out to them and get the support that you need and derserve. Take care of yourself.
Kat xxx
"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."
What you are going through is not selfish because (from what i can tell) when you can cope with supporting others, you will.
Suicide is the ULTIMATE selfish act because of all the people you leave behind.
I can't do much to help at the moment cos i'm in pretty much the same place as you right now.
But it IS possible to get through this.
I've done it before so i know it can be done.
Maybe see if you can set up some therapy if you aren't receiving any currently.
*hugs*
heya shadow sorry i havent spoke to u in ages
i really hope ur ok
pm me anytime im always here for you
things will get better i know they seem a bit dim at the moment but they will get better.
sorry its long if u get to know me you will understand i write loads ,
Hey shadow,
I dont yet know you i hope i get the chance to know you better in time. I understand youve been having a really difficult time , its clear mate there are alot of people who care about you and are there for you.
I m sorry mate you had another od some days ago, im glad your still around friend, i hope you can hold off enough from oding to give yourself time mate to feel better. Please dont think that your letting anyone down who supports you when you od. They care about you,
i want to care about you and they and i will still support you, many of us have been in the places you have and still are in shadow. We understand how difficult life is to manage and can understand you risking your self. But people have got through this and you can to let others inspire you.
but we wont give up on you friend we want you to help yourself get to the place where you can start to control your life more. You arnt annoying anyone you are allowed to express your feelings and emotions shadow.
please keep doing this no one will push you, but we will care about you and listen to you and support you.
Im glad you had a good day shadow, these little occasions where you have a good day are so precious and mean so much hold onto them friend and build on these times as they will get longer and longer.
your not pathetic in any way for collecting pills , i hope you dont, and its ok to still be feeling like you want to end your life, right now the feelings are still strong, its important you aknowledge these feelings . But we want to support you and be there as much as we can while you have these feelings. To help you get through this.
Please dont feel you need to keep everything to yourself i know you have every right to decide what you want to share with us. But if you dont share with us we cant support you . you arnt annoying anyone at all ok.
Hey theres allways a reason to fight through this shadow dont loose hope
you may have lost some battles but you havent lost the war yet we are here to help you as much as we can to fight the war .
we are all fighting a war.
Hey i dont think your destroying anyone elses life here we will still be here to care about you and support you in any way you allow us to.
If you feel shadow right now you havent got anything left to fight with,
please please allow us mate to give you the strength to fight on let us help you to get through.
Hey i know the feeling of you saying your life is destroyed why bother , i to feel like that, but shadow . There is allways something left of your life that deserves to be cared for and supported to grow again allow yourself to be sort of reborn again like the pheonix you can rise up again and build your life back
i know its hard but let us continue to help you in any way you want us to.
Please hold on mate, i do understand some of your feelings i have been there to, in attempting suicide . I understand how desperate you get when you feel like this, you please try and hold on friend
let those around you offer support and give you the space to grow stronger.
I know the feeling you have of wishing you had died mate , altho i dont yet know you, im so pleased you are still here shadow.
I hear you to of thinking if you had gone then everyone would be able to get on with their lives, but really mate they would be sad, and they would truly miss you. Because clearly you are a good person a good friend and everyone who supports you does so because they care about you and want to help you. You are not ever wasting anyones time here.
I still wish i had done the same and died, but i am still here and im glad,
im so happy people here at ryl were here to care about me and listen to me and support me, without them i wouldnt be here.
but please hold onto getting through mate and seing that you can have a future and things can improve in time.
take care shadow
Dave
" Use only that which Works, and take it from any place you find it" Im Honoured My RYL Sons are :)Atlantica, ,Saint of Misery, Stevevaijr
My Adoptee :)S_Pod live help
come on ian youve got to fight!
please please please dont give up.
emotions are like seasons and winter never fails to turn to spring.
there is always hope of change, please carry on with life it WILL get better and it wont always be like this.
i wish you all the happiness in the world.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
No i havent been reffered to anyone else apart from a counceller. Iv been collecting more pills. Hopely soon il have enough. I havent got enough yet though. Thamks bleeding dragon for your reply. Iv never met so many caring people in my life. Im still not coping well. Went to see counceller today had a long chat to her. My mum just rang me a little while ago as im at home on my own she is really worried just lately because i never talk to anyone at home about anything. I know its understandable for her to be worried. Feel so down today. I wanna take the pills but i havent got enough. So there is no point taking them if they arnt gonna do anything so thats why i need more, so they actually kill me. I sooooooooo wish i was dead. I cant do this! I cant cope! im sorry.
Is there any reason why you want to kill yourself? If you use pills and you fail [to kill yourself] you will end up doing loads of damage to your immune system. (I accidently did this a few years ago and get ill alot and it takes me at least 3 weeks to get over a cold)
Its qute long so to cut a long story short i started feeling really down in april this year, i then started harming and oding. My parents didnt find out for quite a while. Its gone on from there really. Need to keep collecting pills though.
