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Cant pay rent, Dr refused to see me, terrified...
Right so I have depression/anxiety type problems, have been getting worse recently of which my Dr. is aware.
Two days ago I split up with my boyfriend which ended as lovely as it could be but it is a huge stressor obviously, especially as pretty much the reason he left me was cos of my probs - he couldn't handle it even though I didn't ask him for help etc and was generally happy around him. Anyway don't really want to go into that its the practical things I'm terrified about.
I am £160 short for my rent on 1st feb.. In addition they have stopped my ESA as I failed the medical and am appealing, I know they pay up during the appeal process but until me and my friend who's helping me can get the appeal letter done and medical evidence from my Dr that wont happen. (also seeking advice from CAB but it's 2 weeks to get an appointment so we thought we'd better start the process alone)
I've tried to see the Dr today but mine wasn't in, and I couldn't face going out and no-one around to go with me, so I asked for a telephone appointment with a random GP. When the Dr still hadn't called by 5pm I phoned and the receptionist told me "He said he'd not going to call you. He's left some information here for you". I explained that something had happened but she told me he wouldn't call. My friend picked up the info for me and its stuff about a centre for women that has stuff like counselling, but no use for my present problems like going mad not sleeping wanting to hurt myself terrified etc.
I'd also tried to call 'my' cpn earlier in the day as I thought she'd be able to help more, but was told that she'd discharged me back to my GP. So she was only my cpn for as long as it took me to be referred to a therapist, until that begins (in a looooooooong time) I'm supposed to go to the Dr for help. But they won't let me speak to him.
My parents have said they will help out loaning me money to cover delayed payments of ESA, but they already give me some money every month towards bills (live in a shared house thats ridiculously cold and on expensive energy meters - they agreed to help out as it was causing huge rows with housemates when I couldn't pay) So I cant ask for more and anyway they are certainly not rich and I have 3 siblings to think of too (one of whom's in hopsital at the moment too so they are worried enough).
Have looked up loadsa advice about this sort of thing, but its all the same, about budgeting etc. But I am REALLY good at budgeting, having been on benefits a lot and when working only earning minimum wage and saving from that. I can't make my outgoings any smaller, one thing this month is a huge phone bill cos I have just had to talk to people a lot and without that there would have been hospital visits etc... I am trying to hold it all together and not harm myself, I don't want to be back there, but I'm stuck. I feel like I have to die because I simply cant go on. It doesn't add up.
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